A Maiden’s Unwanted Heroic Epic - Chapter 68: Skeleton

Mortimer Zhu is an extremely unfortunate high school student who accidentally enrolls into an academy of a dubious nature, where it is the norm to jump in front of moving trains, get dismembered during orientation, and crushed by vindictive bouncing classrooms. Can he stay alive or will he die from the rigors of school? Why have evil spirits suddenly acquired a taste for his flesh?

- Description from Novelupdates

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

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