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... menace, because inside one of the paper bags she bought were five swimsuits. All in my size. All brand new. All... tiny.

Not a single one-piece. Not even a mildly conservative two-piece. Every single bikini screamed: ’Hello, Oliver, please faint now.’

I swear, I’m going to strangle her when we get back.

But instead of planning her murder, I grabbed my phone and fired off a message.

"You little conniving traitor!" I attached a picture of the deadly lineup of bikin ...

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