Comrade: Almost a Cat-astrophic Love Story - Chapter 209 - Man and Man, Hand-in-Hand

In the year 54 of the Konoha Calendar, two super geniuses appeared in the Konoha. One is named Uchiha Itachi, and the other is named Akihara Kagura. One is a tool of the village, willing to sacrifice everything for Konoha, except for his brother Uchiha Sasuke; the other claims to be a tool of the village, also willing to sacrifice everything for Konoha, including Uchiha Itachi's brother, Uchiha Sasuke.

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

The two faced number one female spy transmigrates to a different world and becomes an outrageous idiot girl. When she woke up, what she had to face was consecutive blows of the decline of her family clan, her crippled martial skills, and her disfiguration. To protect her family, she must obtain the treasured book, obtain outstanding achievements, summon a dark beast army. Wait and see how in this unfamiliar, dark magical continent, she dies and becomes a demon then steps up to the top, making all of the formidable people in the world bow down to her in respect.

- Description from Novelupdates

Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator who defied the heavens, and surpassed all limits.

Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck here. Arrogant young masters? Heavenly tribulations? Cultivating for days on end, then getting into life or death battles?

Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here.

In which a transmigrator decides that the only winning move is not to play.