Cultivation Pet Shop - 3 Chapter 3

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

Fortune Telling, a mysterious technique, can also be said dangerous because it can change the catastrophe and make it auspicious…

Teacher: Don’t give me these useless papers to me, have you finished answering your test paper?
Lin Qingyin took out a tortoiseshell: Teacher, can I use divination to get the answer?

Lin Qingyin, the master of fortune-telling, didn’t succeed in the Thunder Tribulation when she tried to ascend. When she woke up again, she became a high school student. Lin Qingyin, who was not afraid of Thunder Tribulation, looked at the thick test paper in front of her and shivered. Only a thousand years had passed, how could the world become so scary!

At the age of 12, Naruto Uzumaki gained the extraordinary ability to traverse between his home world, the Ninja World, and the mysterious world known as the Soul Society.Naruto's DiaryKonoha Year 63, March 15: I seem to have died [crossed out] I seem to have died and come back to life.Konoha Year 63, March 16: The weight of this new existence crushes him. A return to life offers no solace, and he questions whether it might have been better to remain dead.Konoha Year 63, April 1: Desperation sets in as Naruto searches the Soul Society for his parents, only to discover that this world is not connected to his own. His parents are nowhere to be found.Konoha Year 63, July: The dream of becoming Hokage fades, as Naruto finds himself detached from the village that once held his heart. The desire to become a Shinigami grows stronger within him, spurred by the hope of discovering the true Soul Society of his world and reuniting with his parents.

Waking up from a nightmare several hours before dawn, Belle fetched a drink of water.

She paused in front of her kitchen’s window when she noticed a lit lantern in front of her mansion’s garden. Her butler stood there, shovel in hand. This was no hour to be gardening.

Curious, she made her way outside, but when she had gotten close enough to see a large and hollow pit next to her eternally-stoic and polite butler, she saw him pick up a rotten body.

A DEAD BODY!

Her eyes widened fearfully when she saw her handsome butler drop the rotting body into the fresh hole. She asked in horror, ”What are you doing?!“

Surprised to see his young miss awake at this hour, he stared at her with the same expression he had been keeping up for all these years. He had made sure she was asleep before coming here.

“Gardening.”

“And the body?!”she looked at him in disbelief.

“Fertilizer,” he answered her before picking up the shovel that was on the ground. Belle was now certain something had possessed her butler. Who gardened dead bodies?!

She then heard him ask her, “Want to help me in planting it, Miss Adams?” he gave her a sweet smile.

Note: If you enjoy a book of comedy with light-hearted romance and a gothic background. This book is for you~