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... ng, and I happened to be—let’s say, generously equipped in a certain department—then it only made sense, mathematically speaking, that Jack Morrison had to be coming up short. Like, real short. It’s science. Conservation of dick energy or whatever.

"The universe couldn’t just let one guy have all the looks, muscles, charm, and a nuclear football scholarship and still be packing? Hell no. That’s not balance. That’s a divine glitch. And I mean, if I’ve got a huge dick—and I’m saying I do—t ...

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