Douluo: Emerald Poison Emperor - Chapter 12: Douluo: Emerald Poison Emperor []

“Come here, little one!” “No way!”

What to do when the wife is angry? The big-shot CEO is filthy rich, showering her with extravagant displays of love every day! Today a luxury car, tomorrow a mansion, the day after a private jet…

In a media interview: “What was the most expensive gift you have given your wife?” “So far, our son!” “You treat your wife so well, she must surely love you!” CEO laughs confidently, “Without a doubt!”

Arriving home, his delicate wife throws a divorce contract at him, “Dongfang Yu, sign this!”

“Hai Xiaotang, all you think about is divorce. Don’t think I can’t handle you!” The CEO, full of fury, cracks his knuckles, “A washboard, an abacus, a keyboard, a durian…choose one!”

“Durian!” The CEO ends up kneeling on the durian with a thud!

The first time I realized that I ‘couldn’t die’ was during a practical training exercise in my third year as a hero cadet.A beast suddenly leaped out of the bushes and tore into my neck.‘How did I come back to life?’Yes, I came back to life. I didn’t die.And now, after hundreds, even thousands of years, I was still alive. Only I had survived.“But now… it’s finally over.”After wandering for millennia, I thought I could finally put an end to this long existence…“Dale! Dale Han! How dare you sleep during my class? You’ve got some nerve, don’t you?”“…Huh?”But what awaited me at the end of my long existence wasn’t a period, but a repeat sign.

After the disaster, there wasn't enough food, so I used my superpower to farm, striving together with my childhood friend for a better life.

The Strongest Magic meets the Mightiest Mecha.

I have stolen Golden Mechas from the deepest vaults of the most tightly guarded fortresses in the world.

I have personally destroyed more armies than the top three superpowers have in the span of the Absolute War - combined.

I burned down the terrorist megacity of Habon.

I was expelled from the Union of Heroes at a younger age than people are allowed in.

I have talked to Ancient Gods, loved women, and devoured mechas that would make superpowers cringe in fear.

I have faced demons head on in moonless nights others fear to speak of during the day.

I am deified in a thousand cultures, and labelled as the devil incarnate in the rest.

I am the Mecha Emperor.

You may have heard of me.

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Excerpt from Chapter 1

This is where it all began.

A junkyard.

Oh no, this isn't your clean, mechas-only junkyard that was the 'starting point' of many mecha geniuses out there.

I have seen and heard my share of rags-to-riches stories, and many of them claimed that they had started from 'junkyards' and slowly grew to be where they were right now.

From Zero to Hero, they declared.

You can do it too, they said.

As long as you work hard, everything is possible, they claimed.

I call bullshit.

Life doesn't work like that.