Firebrand - Chapter 683: Onions

Chosen after a long period of bloodline selection, seven women with the mixed blood of goddesses were selected to be the Imperial Guards and become direct trusted aides loyal only to the Emperor himself—this was the reason why the Haines Empire was the strongest military power on the continent.

Armed with teleportation magic and city-destroying forbidden spells that could be used at will, they were undoubtedly the most terrifying war machines in this land. However, in reality, these demigod Imperial Guards were far less outstanding than the legends…

“They don’t have the moral values of humans! They’re just a bunch of degenerates who only care about profits!” A transmigrator from another land, His Highness Rayne would always kick the coffin board agitatedly at the mention of these Imperial Guards.

“The System resurrected me a thousand times, of which at least 800 times, I was stabbed in the back by them!”

If he killed them, he would have no one of use in the Empire.

If they were left alive, he would be stabbed in the back sooner or later.

After the thousandth rebirth, Rayne finally figured out an unprecedented path.

This time round, he was no longer going to negotiate using benefits—he was going to conquer them with his personal charm!

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Sister in law: “Qing, why is the eggplant you planted curved?”Li Qing: “What do you understand? Only curved ones are more enjoyable?”Sister in law's face turned red and she said, “Why are cucumbers straight?”Li Qing chuckled mischievously and said, “Only straight ones can go deeper.”

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

A Di [legitimate-born] daughter of a noble house turns into an abandoned daughter. No father to dote on her, no mother to love her, no problem. She uses one silver needle to save a dying man. What’s so unusual about a medical injection? She roams all over the world with a scalpel in her hand. Cutting throats, cutting open abdomens, cutting open skulls to mend bones. With amazing medical skills and ethics, she gathers a flock of officials, obtains the will of heavens, gains public favor, and receives Taizi’s [Crown Prince] doting. In the midst of a powerful momentum, her cheap father comes to reunite. She coldly refuses to go home or acknowledge ancestors.