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... ife, I passed out the moment my head hit the mattress. I must’ve been mowing logs like a dying lawnmower because I woke up violently—someone was pinching my nose closed like they were trying to assassinate me with oxygen deprivation. I swatted blindly, ready to fight for my right to breathe, and the culprit let go before I could smack them.

I cracked my eyes open.

Jane. Pillows of mass destruction in hand. Face: fully deadpan, like she had already written my eulogy.

"Damn ...

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