Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating - Chapter 11 - In my heart, I already belong to Xiang Gege

The Immortal Dao is ethereal, and Immortals are hard to find.

Li Nianfan had descended into the cultivation world as a mortal. After learning that he has no hope in cultivation, he only wants to live a peaceful life.

However…

The dog he adopts becomes a demon king of a generation when it sees his poems and paintings. It manages to suppress an entire world.

The tree he plants behind his house becomes a World Tree after listening to his zither music, forming a bridge between heaven and earth.

He meets a passerby who is enlightened by him and becomes an immortal sage who leads an entire generation.

When he looks back—

It turns out that the scholar who had been pestering him for his calligraphy and paintings despite having crappy chess skills, is a chess saint from the Immortal Realm. The beautiful woman who comes to listen to his music every night is the number one saintess of the Immortal Realm…

When gods gather, lightning will strike and the earth will move. Immortals! Which of the numerous way to immortality should one follow? Immortals are hard to seek, but why should immortals hide? Heaven has no mercy, but humans have emotions, and these emotions hinder the road to longevity!

Chen Heng is called a pervert.

For killing his sexual partner, the dejected gong forced him to bind with a cheap system.

He has played a series of roles such as: the Holy Mother, a foolish idiot, a wretch, a very perverted and very cruel tyrant… The goal is to get rid of the cheap system, and return to the original world.

Confessions of the small gong:

My lover is a pervert, he is very violent, arrogant, black belly, and vicious.

But I still love him.

I want to break his wings and cut off his limbs.

Capture him, possess him, collect him, and let him be mine.

Small shou: Scram! Don’t talk to me!

Small shou: arrogant, cold, black belly, vicious

Small gong: more arrogant, colder, more black belly, and more vicious

- Description from Novelupdates

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates