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... I woke up not to birdsong or sunlight, but to the horrifying shriek of Mister Fog sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter whispering, "All eggs are lies." He was eating what I can only describe as a philosophical omelet—each bite punctuated by a different haunting declaration like "Scrambled dreams" or "The yolk of man is cracked."

I ignored him. Mostly because I was busy processing the fact that my wife had left me for a knight with the bone structure of a statue and the personalit ...

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