I’ll Quit Being a God - Chapter 31: Heavenly Thunder Sand

Balthazar was just a random giant crab enjoying his life in a fantasy world full of bothersome human adventurers, but then he had to go and accidentally discover the secret of attributes and levels. And also pie. With baked goods and coin as his new life goals, he turns to the competitive business of trading the random junk adventurers loot every day.Follow Balthazar as he does everything to find a baker... except leave his pond, because exploring the dangerous world out there is for suckers. Witness how adventurers just can't seem to stop dying around his home. And cheer for a crab who makes great new friends by simply buying them.Book 2 is out now, with new chapters every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, fresh off the bakery!What to expect from this story:- No harems, not unless they're a harem of gold coins.- Silliness, lots of it. The story doesn't take itself too seriously, so you shouldn't either.- The only kind of OP here is how “overpriced” the crab's deals are.- A system simple enough for a crab to use, but still conveniently complex when necessary, for some odd reason.- Proper realistic adventurers: they're not very bright, and they make very poor decisions.- Did I mention there will be pastries?

Xu Shulou dreams she’s a character in a bizarre storybook.The male lead is Long Aotian, a man with a “Dragon Overlord” script: treasures fall into his lap, beauties vie for his heart.The first heroine is his delicate junior apprentice sister. The second, the Demon Sect’s saintess. The third… the fourth…Where does Xu Shulou rank? She flips through the plot and realizes—despite being Long Aotian’s official fiancée, she’s nothing but a disposable pawn.In the story, her sect elders dote on her fragile junior sister.“Shulou, yield this treasure to your sister. She’s weaker and needs it more.”“Shulou, don’t be unreasonable. Your gentle sister deserves care.”Even Long Aotian prefers the junior sister. He’s a flirtatious mess, forcing Xu Shulou to compete with other women, her jealousy twisting her into a villain. Meanwhile, the junior sister blossoms into a pristine lotus.But Xu Shulou refuses to play along.When the script demands she and her junior sister be kidnapped, Long Aotian saves the “weaker” girl, saying, “Shulou, you’re stronger—you’ll understand.”In reality? Long Ao Tian arrives just in time to see Xu Shulou slaughter the villains, scoop her sister into her arms, and vanish into the sky—without sparing him a glance.When demons attack, the story expects Long Aotian to leave his fiancée and lovers in the sect’s care. The elders protect only the junior sister, letting Xu Shulou be humiliated.In reality? The elders sneer: “Our senior sister dominates the cultivation world. Why would we need you to worry about her?”When the story’s Long Aotian coaxes the Demon Saintess into betraying her clan for him…In reality, the Saintess timidly asks Xu Shulou: “You’re a righteous heroine. I’m a hunted demon. Why would you want to befriend me?”In the script, Xu Shulou claws at other women in jealous rage.In reality, she’d rather live in peace—until Long Aotian pushes too far. Then she draws her sword.In the story, Long Aotian reigns supreme, surrounded by beauties.In reality, Xu Shulou steals his allies, hoards his treasures, and occasionally beats him up—while he sulks.“My sword saves the world and shields the innocent. It’s not for fighting over men.”“See? Dreams lie. I’m the one holding the Dragon Overlord script.”

He is the Lord of the Heavenly King Hall, the old Kunlun monster, and the Stay-Home dad. Let’s see the cultivation adventure of an invincible dad.

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“Music, film, painting, calligraphy, sculpture, literature…”

“You know all this?”

“Just a bit.”

“You mean, you know a bit about all of these?”

“Yes, I know quite a bit about all of them.”

With the System in his pocket, he conquers the world through art, becoming the crownless king that all realms worship.

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