Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai - Chapter 227.3 - Night Before Decisive Battle

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

“First were the Gates, and now you’re saying the world has been invaded by Aliens and we’re soon going to be turned into livestock…? Great…”—----------------*Ding!*[You have awakened with the Idle Evolution System!]“The wha—”Suddenly thrown into a magical parallel world of the Earth he once knew, Cassius was greeted with powerful beings known as Hunters and the terrifying Gates that plagued the world. Moreover, he received a message…[To Idle, one must stay proactive!][Firstly, you require Character Development!]“Character Development…?”[You seem a bit (A lot) overweight, and you resemble that of a goblin! What say we start there!?]{[Daily Quest 1:]}_________________[Daily Quest - To Idle, one must stay proactive.]GOAL[INCOMPLETE] PUSH-UPS — [0/100][INCOMPLETE] SIT-UPS — [0/100][INCOMPLETE] CURL-UPS — [0/100][INCOMPLETE] SQUATS — [0/100][INCOMPLETE] RUNNING — [0/10km]REWARD - [1 Point in Charisma, 1 Point in Agility, 1 Point in Strength, and 1 Point in Endurance]_________________“Is this torture!?” shouted the ugly, obese transmigrator Cassius.*Ding!*[No, it’s Character Development! ^-^]—----------------100 years ago, Earth was suddenly overwhelmed with the appearance of Gates and the horrifying monsters within those mystical portals. That was the First Major Calamity.Now, one hundred years later, the next major calamity has arrived—the subtle invasion of an Ancient Alien species from deep into the Milky Way Galaxy. Its undercurrents spread far and wide, with the threat an apocalyptic one. Yet, that is but the 2nd of Three Major Calamities as per prophesied by the famed prophet, Baba Yaga.The Third Calamity, and the most dangerous of the Calamities, is one that will bring about the true END of the world, but only if the Second Calamity can be overcome by humanity…What does this Third Calamity detail, one might ask…? To know the answer to that, one would have to brave past the first Two Calamities and stare into the abyss, praying to all Gods known to man that the Abyss does not stare back also into you…

Saying 5000 year-old-dragon has an impressive ring to it, yet that dragon was an extremely harmless, herbivorous being. However, because of his uselessly giant figure and scary appearance, he was mistaken for the Demon King’s executive and provided by the nearby village with a sacrificial maiden.

Fundamentally cowardly and timid dragon tried to send her away, but the extremely enthusiastic sacrifice didn’t want to give up. Inevitably, he lied: “Okay, I just ate a small portion of your soul, so you can go back already”, but the maiden with outrageous assumptions has misunderstood that she became the dragon’s kin.

Then, out of all things, she began to manifest strange power on the basis of her wrong assumptions – in turn, the helpless dragon, by some mistake started a rebellion against the Demon King.

Rebellion or whatnot, he wasn’t even his subordinate in the first place.

“Yuri, the Pringles! We’re out of Pringles!”“Alright! I’ll trade you 8 boxes of ramen! No, make it 10 boxes!”“Cola is definitely the devil’s creation!”Cider, cola, snacks, ramen.If they don’t have it, I’ll make it myself.