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What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool.

Why did the nurse need a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood.

Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties? Because they don’t want their guests to drink and derive.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know but the flag is a b ...

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