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... CLERP!"

Ricky's eyes snapped open, his heart pounding as a naked Irene clung to his side as he bolted upright, his wild gaze darting toward the window.

There, before his eyes, was a sight so unbelievable that no one would ever take him seriously and yet, to this day, he swears that he saw a retarted cross-eyed bluejay.

It didn't even chirp properly, its call distorted and offbeat, while its oddly misshapen head added to the unsettling sight, like the crowning achievement ...

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