Marvel Ultimate Gacha - Chapter 16: Fighting the Witch

If you had a golden apple, who would you give it to?Invited to the banquet, Luo En saw the golden apple in the plate inscribed with “To the fairest goddess” and the three goddesses embroiled in dispute before him, and he picked up a knife with a smug smile.The first step, peeling; he gave the skin to Aphrodite.“To be fair, you're quite pretty. As a layer of skin, you're not bad to look at.”The second step, slicing the flesh; he gave that to Hera.“As the queen of heaven, yet everyone in Olympus from 800-year-olds to animals has cuckolded you, including males, females, and even sheep. Since you can't save face anyway, take these insides.”The third step, he gave the remaining core to Athena.“You were supposed to be born a male god and take over Zeus's position, but due to Zeus's shenanigans, you lost that seed, so here, have this core.”Aphrodite clenched her fists, Hera raised her scepter, Athena summoned her spear and shield...Seeing this, Luo En quickly stepped back, shielding the goddess of discord, Eris, firmly in front of him.“And you still want to be the goddess of discord? Look at me; I got them to unite at once, even better than you with your instigation.”“...”Surrounded by Greek gods sharpening their knives, Eris was left in silence.

“One accidental signature, and now the legendary Shadow Queen is living in my house... wearing my T-shirts and refusing to leave! She claims to be cursed with laziness, but why did I just witness her destroy a monster with one finger? And why does she keep looking at me like I’m her next target? Someone help—I’m not ready for this kind of responsibility!”

The future unfolded on a magnificent scale into the Interstellar Age. Humanity finally solved the space warp technology, but when humanity transported themselves into the other end, they discovered that place neither had a past nor future, nor was there any land under the starry skies……

The mysterious sanctuary was actually a world filled with countless tyrannical unusual organisms. Humanity faced their great leap in evolution, starting the most glorious and resplendant new era under the starry skies.

“Slaughtered the God Blood organism ‘Black Beetle’. Received the God Blood Black Beetle’s Beast Soul. Used the God Blood Black Beetle’s flesh. Randomly obtaining 0 to 10 points of God Gene(s).”

- Description from novelupdates

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!