Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 491: There Is Actually a Big Gap Between Reality and Stories

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.

I became a staff officer of an empire whose defeat was certain.The only way to escape from the empire with an 8-year mandatory service was through dishonorable discharge.But then…“You can be glad, Lieutenant. Thanks to your accurate instinct, our military could prevent damage in advance.”The more I struggled to be discharged, the higher my performance evaluation became.

The mentally disabled 13 year old daughter of the Ye family, one day re-births! She rules over the Omnipotent God’s Cauldron, she possesses a spirit cultivation space. She’s no longer the good-for-nothing, abandoned girl who everyone bullies whenever they see her! With her incomparable poisons, even miracle doctors have to move to the side.

Zhong Yuhuan had transmigrated into a book and became the female supporting character who was destined to die an untimely and tragic death. Coincidentally, her family adopted two boys — the male lead and the villain of the book! The male lead of the book would become a superstar in the show business and the villain a super successful and powerful businessman. Zhong Yuhuan thus began her life of raising the male lead and the villain while faceslapping other scums. She would grow up quickly and live the life of the rich and powerful Mary Sue!