MTL - Lord Highlander - Chapter 28 27. You look like me

In this world, mystery and the supernatural never depart.Those who, with bodies honed through thousands of trials and indomitable wills, break the chains of life and pursue human limits in modern cities, are known as martial artists.Under neon lights, swords clash. At the tops of towering buildings, friendships are made through fists.Among mountains and peaks, heroes discuss their ways.Here, martial artists who have broken the “seven physical limits” carve their godlike names under the heavens, stunning both the ancient and modern worlds and making the stars shine brighter!Here, the once-in-a-decade “World Martial Arts Tournament” broadcast is the highest rated program globally, where martial artists fight for their nation and themselves!Here, martial artists, with their mortal flesh, combat dark spirits and mythical beasts in life and death battles to protect their homeland's civilization.Here, every true martial artist unswervingly believes:“The martial way is boundless; my body is unfettered!”

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

The most beautiful old ancestor of the immortal sect, who lived for five thousand years, repeatedly broke the rules of immortality and was punished by the Heavenly Dao.Upon opening her eyes, she became the true daughter of the Xia family, who had been kidnapped into a mountain village as a child.She thought she would have to suffer through all the hardships of the human world, but who knew that when she woke up she was directly 14 years later, on the very day she was rescued—She wanted to run wild and be beautiful on her own, but her whole family pampered her to the heavens!Want to do scientific research? Three big brothers donate a research institute.Headache and cold? Powerful parents gather authoritative experts overnight, starting the examinations from cancer.Rumors in Capital City are never-ending: The Xia family's daughter is a spoiled and arrogant waste!The Xia family rose in defiance, but Xia Ye just laughed: I'll handle it myself.The foremost classic instrument of China, she made it casually 500 years ago.The ancient texts that students memorize until they're bald, necessary for the college entrance exam, were written by her 700 years ago in a drunken stupor.The world's seventh greatest unsolved mystery—a relic Sky Pit with a diameter of 7,300 meters—was created by her 1,000 years ago during a quarrel with Heavenly Dao.Everyone was waiting for her to show off and fail miserably, but the Xia family kept receiving calls from the Mutant Plant Association, metaphysics masters, supernatural organizations, cultural archaeology bureaus... “Has the old ancestor returned?”Later, Xia Ye ascended to the second spot on the global rich list. At the award ceremony, she raised an eyebrow: What happened to the divine retribution and punishment, it seems quite nourishing?By her side, the world's richest man, the Heavenly Emperor in a suit and shoes: How could I truly punish my own wife...