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... aid, "The owner of this house should be able to testify for me."

 Still dragging the landlord into the water.

 After all, I don’t know many people here, and I can’t think of anyone else except the landlord.

 “What do you do before nightfall?” the guard continued to ask.

 “Exercise in the room.”

 “Has anyone posted anything strange lately?”

"No!"

The guard leaned down, looked into the room, and said, "We want to search your residence."

 ...

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Beta: Fuck it! I want a good story.

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