MTL - Reverend Insanity (Gu Daoist Master) - ~ Section 35: You call it

Raised by a league of assassins and trained for thirteen years, Shan Yue was seventeen when she took the throne of best assassin, becoming an untouchable legend amongst assassins.

Despite being legendary, she put her faith in the wrong people and was killed by her own league’s betrayal. However, while Shan Yue thought her death was assured in the violent explosion, she was surprised to find herself reincarnating into the body of a useless female student.

Forget how pudgy and dim-witted she was — she seemed to get into fights every day! Her original body’s sister sneered, “Fatso! All you do is eat… and look at how ugly you are! You really embarrass me!”

Fat? Ugly! Shan Yue started a daily training regiment, rapidly slimming down and becoming a ravishing beauty! Her original body’s mother snapped at her, “How did I give birth to a child as stupid as you?! Always last place in school — you embarrass me!

I should have strangled you right after I gave birth to you!” Stupid?

Last place in school? Shan Yue lifted a finger, and the principal of the top school in the capital personally visited, offering a transfer to his school. Elite hackers, doctors, mercenaries, math geniuses…

All of them were now vying for her attention! Though she managed to get the chance to become normal after going through so much, she accidentally become a big shot again, even finding herself a two-faced bigwig for a husband! Shan Yue: I just wanted a quiet life, but my abilities prevent that. Sigh…

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

Li Hao: What? Someone jailbreak? Huh? Why is there an exclamation mark on the reward notice?

[Click on this reward notice to get the location information of the jailbreaker~]

Li Hao: There is an exclamation mark on this scratch pad?

[Scratch this card and you will win a prize, don’t miss it~]

Li Hao: There is actually a question mark on this box of pills?

[This is a box of life-saving pills, which can save the life of an old man. The host can receive the task and go to a fixed location… and you will get an unexpected surprise~ Do you want to receive the task? Yes! no! 】

Li Hao: Can you still receive the mission? Eh…that person also has an exclamation point? Huh? This dog actually has hints~

[Ding dong, congratulations to the host, for completing the task, you will be rewarded with a villa worth tens of millions…]

[Ding dong, congratulations to the host, complete the task, reward a Bugatti Veyron…]

- Description from novelbuddy

A new work from the author of 'My Senior Brother is Too Steady', welcome to enjoy it!-------[Science Fiction Apocalypse Setting + Alone Cultivation Protagonist, Not a Mindless Feel-Good Story]This is a shattered world where human civilization barely gasps for air on a planet ravaged by the Blade Beast catastrophe, the flame of civilization in underground fortresses flickers intermittently, and human elites in space are brewing a final plan to strike back at the Blade Beasts, but the future of humanity is dimly lit by fading stars…“So,”a Mahayana Realm expert, who after cultivating alone for one hundred and twenty-five years failed his tribulation and became a Residual Soul in this 'peculiar' world, sighed deeply as he looked up to the sky:“What the hell does this have to do with me?!”