MTL - Silly Spring Attack - Chapter 6 Misheard?

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

【A new work from the author of 'Top Tier Providence, Secretly Cultivate for a Thousand Years'!】As a young servant, Gu An accidentally broke a pot containing a spiritual flower. While he was panicking, he discovered that he had absorbed twelve years of lifespan from it!Thus began Gu An’s journey to immortality.To cultivate safely, Gu An chose to become a servant disciple in the Taixuan Sect, where he planted medicinal herbs daily to consume their lifespan and enhance his own cultivation.He continuously evolved his basic skills with his evolution skill until they became divine abilities.Eras passed, stars shifted, and the world changed.Legends of immortals began to circulate.Gu An, now an immortal, spent half of his lifespan to push his cultivation beyond the limits of immortality and achieved the saint realm and stood above the heavenly Dao.However, one day, an old man in white robes, who looked like a true immortal, visited Gu An.“I am the Celestial Lord Xuanqing from the heavens. The Great Emperor Taihao has heard of your numerous good deeds in the mortal realm. You have repeatedly saved countless lives and have accrued great merits. He has specially dispatched me to invite you to join the ranks of immortals and assume the celestial position of Divine Steed Officer.”“Dare I ask, what the duties of the Divine Steed Officer arre?”“The Heavenly Court possesses divine horses capable of traversing heaven and earth and move between yin and yang. The Divine Steed Officer is responsible for overseeing and feeding these horses.”Hmm?

“Even if this universe is truly nothing more than a brutal bloody shadowy forest, we Cultivators will burn all that we have just to give off a single weak flickering spark in the darkness!

No matter how weak each spark is, how short-lived, how small… As long as the sparks flow unabated, then one day one of those sparks will light some tinder, and that tinder shall light some fallen branches, and those branches shall set ablaze each and every last tree of the forest!

In the end, even the smallest sparks will eventually set the shadowy forest ablaze, and illuminate the whole world!”

In a world teeming with cultivators, Li Yao, who makes his living collecting scrap metal, encounters the soul of a titan powerhouse from forty thousand years in the past.

- Description from novelupdates

The devil would love you only in his own way: “Remember, don’t look at me, don’t hold me, and don’t kiss me! Turn your face away, as long as you lie down obediently and quietly! ” Just lie down obediently? What did he take her for? An inflatable wife?