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... y ultimate limit, the very peak—but the peak means it’s insurmountable. If I can’t surpass it, it means death. I ponder how I could possibly make all of this less unbearable. I’m not promoting myself, because deep in my heart I’m always wondering what I should do. I know I should aim for ideals, not delusions; pursue passion, not pretension. I should find joy in contentment, yet I can’t help myself. I love the feeling of happiness surrounding me, yet time and again, it’s my own hands that disrup ...

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