My Cherry Will Explode in the Apocalypse - Chapter 25

Ye Qingli is the daughter of an Imperial Businessman’s first wife, wealthy and overbearing. But because of her mother’s early funeral, she suffered utter oppression and abuse under the hands of her stepmother. On the eve of her marriage, she died tragically in the hands of her stepsister and her own fiance!

He is an overbearing, tyrannical, cold-hearted, demonic king. Grim and ruthless, only restrained by his wife and son!

Once reborn, the weak daughter transfigured into a Divine Genius Healer. There was no intersection between the two people, yet they were bestowed a paper of marriage!

Subdue and kill the Seven Wives?

Very well. This daughter also wants to kill her evil, wicked stepmother and stepsisters! Do you still dare marry me?

However, the Handsome Prince and the Divine Genius Doctor, how do you get them together?

Ye Qingli touched her chin: “So many people, which one do I choose?”

A furious royal highness: “Herald, continue dispatching orders. Whichever male creature dares get within three feet of the royal consort, kill him immediately!

- Description from Novelupdates

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

“Come here, little one!” “No way!”

What to do when the wife is angry? The big-shot CEO is filthy rich, showering her with extravagant displays of love every day! Today a luxury car, tomorrow a mansion, the day after a private jet…

In a media interview: “What was the most expensive gift you have given your wife?” “So far, our son!” “You treat your wife so well, she must surely love you!” CEO laughs confidently, “Without a doubt!”

Arriving home, his delicate wife throws a divorce contract at him, “Dongfang Yu, sign this!”

“Hai Xiaotang, all you think about is divorce. Don’t think I can’t handle you!” The CEO, full of fury, cracks his knuckles, “A washboard, an abacus, a keyboard, a durian…choose one!”

“Durian!” The CEO ends up kneeling on the durian with a thud!

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.