Once Human, Now a Parasite - Chapter 22

What is martial arts?Martial Arts has nothing to do with musical instruments, chess, calligraphy, painting, treasures or secret manuals, nor is there so much talk about being the best in the world. Martial Arts is a technique, a method that gives the weak a chance to draw their blades against the strong.What is chivalry (xiá)?Chivalry is not about romantic affairs, traditional culture, or being gentle, respectful, frugal, and compliant. Chivalry is violence, it's the bayonet forged by those driven to Mount Liang to use against tyrants.Cao Mo pledged with a dagger, (Returning to) Lu to invade. Zhuan Zhu entered with grilled meat, (Pacifying) Wu to usurp the throne. Brother Zhang cried in the market, avenging his lord by defiling a lavatory. Suicide by cutting one's own throat to seek justice, acting while concealing his sleeve. The tyrant of Qin seized souls, the coward gained courage.This is a martial artist's story.In the 1930s, a group of like-minded young people came together, striving to change the world.Then, two hundred years later, in a garbage landfill, Xiang Shan, the Progenitor of Cyber Martial Arts who had once rebooted heaven and earth, woke up reciting the name of his enemy, having lost all his memories.“Perhaps it's because I lost back then that the world has become what it is...”“So this time, I won't be defeated again!”This is the story of a person changing the world once more!

Sixty Years ago, one middle aged man brought a Qilin that looked like a pug and a mandarin duck that looked exactly like a duck, walking into the Imperial City of the Central Plains for the first time.

The Su family has twin daughters.

They were like the sun and the moon; one sister was bright and had a carefree disposition while the other one was demure and reserved.

But it never occurred to anyone that when the twins grew up, the introverted sister would step into the entertainment circle and became a well-known flower! While the other one packed up her school bag, and aiming to become a doctor of Geology, sailed all the way across the ocean!

One day, while the other sister’s intoxicated face was exploring the wild, a manager with a group of bodyguards tied her up and brought her to a variety show!

“What bedroom scene are you trying to make me do?! Let this old woman go!!!”

“Su Jishi, your sister left a retirement letter and disappeared! All her endorsements, variety shows, and movie contracts add up to more than three billion dollars in liquidated damages! If she still won’t show up, then you have to take her place for the meantime!

“What?!”

“By the way, she’s currently dating the vice president of XX Group and you have an appointment with him tomorrow night.”

Manager: “You are three centimeters taller than your sister, two degrees darker than her skin…your hair is fifty centimeters shorter, and a mole is missing from the corner of your eye. The most important thing is that you are ten pounds heavier than her! Starting today, you have to strictly follow a diet to lose weight! Are you allergic to anything or abstain from any food?

Woman: “I’m not a vegetarian.”

Manager: “…”

The president held the woman’s face in his hands and affectionately said, “Dear, this mole on the corner of your eye was made to be kissed by me.”

The woman raised her hand to wipe off the mole: “Sorry, this mole was only painted!”

- Description from Novelupdates

Lin Momo hasn’t had a father or a mother since she was very young and lives with the grandmother who picked her up after being thrown away. One day, a person claiming to be an agent approached her and asked her to pretend to be the daughter of a certain star and participate in the recording of a reality show, and she would be given 20,000 yuan after the filming was completed.

Looking at her poor family, Lin Momo thought for 2 seconds and agreed.

This reality show is called ‘Living with Dad’. Dad takes the baby and randomly draws a family background to experience a different life every week.

The night before the recording of the program, Lin Momo had a dream that after the program was broadcast, only the team of the former singer—Lin Cheng—had bad reviews: the daughter is not cute; the father has no fatherly love; and the father and daughter have no communication at all during the whole process.

The audience pointed out: ‘He doesn’t know how to take care of a baby at all’; ‘It’s really embarrassing’; ‘There is no sense of presence’, ‘I hate this pair the most’; ‘It’s not good-looking at all, I suggest you go offline’ and so on…

Later, more black material popped up, Lin Cheng’s career and reputation collapsed completely, and Lin Momo’s 20,000 yuan was also lost. She was forcibly sent to an orphanage with the ‘help’ of Internet celebrities and caring people.

In order to keep her 20,000 yuan, Lin Momo was determined to perform well.

However, the father-daughter combination of Lin Momo and Lin Cheng still became the contrast team and the audience reaction is palpably different:

Other teams: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so cute!
Contrast team: Hey, my daughter is so sensible.

Other teams: It’s great to be a star.
Contrast team: The life of outdated stars is so miserable.

Other teams: This is a parent-child interactive program.
Contrast team: This turned out to be a survival show?!

Other teams: Dad, come on, raise your children.
Contrast team who drew the [Unemployed Families] card: Daughter, come on and support Dad!

Lin Momo: “I have to work hard to make money, otherwise my father will starve to death.”

Lin Cheng: “I have to work hard to make money, otherwise I will have to take my daughter back to inherit tens of billions of property.”

——————

Lin Cheng, who hasn’t ‘appeared’ for half a year, received a call from his agent and was given a contract.

Lin Cheng: “Appearance fee?”

Agent: “None.” The appearance fee is 100,000 yuan, but the backer was invited to dinner for 300,000 yuan, so the remainder is negative.

Lin Cheng: “Script?”

Manager: “None.” The program team didn’t have time to write one.

Lin Cheng: “Draw lots?”

Agent: “Still no.” As the contrast team, there is no right to choose the family background.

Lin Cheng: “Is there a child?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Looking at the ‘fake’ child who looked too much like him, Lin Cheng had a weird feeling.

- Description from Novelupdates