Painting of the Nine Immortals - Chapter 34: Enraged

Everyone in the entire imperial capital city B knows that, in recent months, there has been a fortune-telling stall with a sky-high pedigree.
Break the marriage, control the universe; talk about misfortune and good fortune, test the secrets of the sky; comment on the eight characters, change the way of luck… simply say that you are alive, you will not die, say that you are dead, you don’t want to live!
The reason why anyone with a head and a face knows it is because the head and face naturally feel that the magic stick cannot be placed on the table and cannot be seen.
However, the wind has changed recently. It is said that the famous Bai family of the Junhong family has sought a famous magic stick for the youngest son of the sick jar!
Unexpectedly, the magic stick was very pretentious and deadly, and only said one sentence.
“I miss him, unless I marry him. Otherwise, within three months, he will surely die!”
So, the whole emperor was in an uproar.

Keywords for a god stick to marry a wife: god stick to marry a wife, blood children, one-on-one, spoil you

- Description from novelbuddy

A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

……

“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?

Copywriter:

On the first day of school, Wei Ru Song accidentally fell in front of Xiao Nian’s dick. With his girlfriend witnessing this incident and thinking that he was giving another man a blowjob, this led to a series of misunderstandings.

WRS : I’m not gay I’m not gay I’m not gayyyyyyyyyyyy!

XN : Neither am I.

WRS : Seems like we need to come up with a scheme to clear our names now.

XN : Ok.

So…

Counselor : I saw you and that junior doing it in the grass, *cough*, kiddo, please take note and be a bad influence.

WRS : No we just fell accidentally…

Neighbour : Wei Ru Song can you be quieter in bed? We couldn’t sleep the entire night.

WRS : No that was just Xiao Nian giving me a massage ahh…

Gym Teacher : You guys know what you did in the equipment room, go clean the mats!

WRS : Noooooooo that was just the milk I spilt!!!

Finally,

XN : Senior

WRS : Yeah?

XN : Since they already think we’re gay, why don’t we just let this work itself out.

WRS : … Just what I was thinking.

Bai Jin is reborn before the sanctification of the Three Pure Ones and is taken as a disciple by Tongtian. In a strong sense of crisis, Bai Jin embarks on his path of survival, currying favor with his elders, making powerful connections, subtly influencing the grand scheme of the ancient cosmos, and building a network of relationships to protect himself. In the process, Bai Jin also earns numerous accolades.Tai Shang: “Bai Jin possesses great wisdom!”Yuan Shi: “Among Tongtian's disciples, only Bai Jin is worth noticing.”Tongtian: “It's Bai Jin who understands me the best.”Zhun Ti: “When Bai Jin becomes shameless, this poor monk willingly admits defeat!”Duo Bao Rulai: “Bai Jin is a despicable, shameless, treacherous villain.”The Jade Emperor: “There is no one more loyal and righteous than my nephew, Bai Jin.”