Papa Paladin - Chapter 155: Awakening Losers (2/3)

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Among the gods of the heavens, there was a famous laughing stock known throughout the three realms.Legend has it that eight hundred years ago, there was an ancient country within the Central Plains called Xian Le nation.The ancient nation of Xian Le had vast territory, abundant resources and content citizens. The country had four treasures: delicate beauties aplenty, thriving arts & literature, treasures of gold and jewels and last but not least, their renown Royal Highness the Crown Prince.This person, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince....you could say.... was a strange man.The Emperor and Empress considered him to be the apple of their eyes. They doted on him immensely and would often proudly proclaim: “In the future, my son will surely become a wise monarch, leaving a reputable impression for generations to come .”Yet, in the regards of what came with royalty, of riches, power and honor, the Crown Prince had no interest.What he was interested in, quoting the very words he often said to himself, was——“I want to save the common folks!”The young prince cultivated in earnest. During this time, two short stories became widely circulated. .The first story occurred when he was seventeen years old.That year, the nation of Xian Le held a magnificent Offering to the Gods parade.Although this tradition had already been abandoned for numerous centuries, through surviving ancient texts and verbal stories, one could imagine the grandeur of the event..Offering to the Gods day, Martial God Main Street.Both sides of the Main Street were overflowing with a sea of people. The aristocrats were seated on top of high buildings as they exchanged friendly chatter; while the imperial guards cleared the way with their impressive armours clinking. Young girls danced gracefully as their snow-white hands scattered flower petals like rain, filling the sky as far as the eye could see. It made people question whether the dancing maidens were more beautiful or the flowers themselves. Melodious notes sounded from within golden carriages and floated throughout the whole Imperial City. Behind honorable guards, sixteen white horses with golden bridles walked side-by-side as they pulled forward a magnificent platform.Located on top of the tall, magnificent platform was the focus of everyone’s attention, there stood the martial artist to perform a show to please the Gods.During the festive heavenly parade, the martial artist would adorn a golden mask, don splendid garments and wield a sword in one hand. He would perform the role of the first military deity in a millennium to have subdued demonic beasts——Martial God Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu.Being selected as the martial artist to perform such a show could be considered equivalent as to receiving the utmost honour, and thus the selection criteria was extremely strict. This year, the one who was chosen was none other than His Royal Highness the Crown Prince. The entire nation was convinced that he would surely be able to become the most marvellous martial artist to perform such a performance since the beginning of time.However, on that day, something unexpected occurred.During that time, the martial god on the magnificent stage was just about to land a killing blow on a demon.This was the most exciting scene, and thus the people on both sides of the Main Street were fired up with passion. The people on the city walls were also becoming more rowdy as they started outdoing each other in sticking their heads out to see, both struggling and shoving.Right at this moment, a young child fell from the top of the city gate tower.

【Transmigration+Entertainment Circle Cute Baby+Godly Wealth System+1V1 Double Cleanliness】Yan Yueqing transmigrated into a book, becoming a cannon fodder eighteenth-tier celebrity in a certain kid variety show novel.The female lead shot to fame through the kid variety show, while she, due to her “lick dog” persona, attracted endless cyberbullying.After being blackballed to the point of quitting the industry and jumping into the sea, the female lead not only lived in her house, spent her money, but also used her child to make a counterattack comeback!Yan Yueqing: Thanks for the invite! I'll raise my own son! The female lead can enjoy her own life, just don't get involved with me!A lick dog persona, huh? System: Here's fifty billion, let them witness what it means to lick to the extreme and become wild!Cyberbullying, huh? After the kid variety show aired, fans all over the network started calling her mom!Inside a luxury villa, a little stone-faced boy watched the live broadcast of the wildly popular Yan Yueqing and said indifferently, “Dad, my mom's standards in the future should be based on her.”A certain business tycoon held back his laughter, “That's your biological mom.”Little stone face: ???【ps: A system feel-good story devoid of logic, some plot points allude to reality, and all the tags have been placed. If you mind, don't click.】

Monster Fusion: Rise of the Vice Sect LeaderRay Darkheart was cursed forever unable to cultivate, even after reincarnation. No technique, no bloodline, no divine intervention could change his fate. His body rejected all forms of cultivation, leaving him powerless in a world where strength ruled.But fate was not so absolute.One day, he awakened the Monster Fusion System a power unlike any other. By fusing two monsters of the same rank, he could create something far stronger, evolving them beyond their natural limits. Each fusion carried forward enhanced traits, bloodlines, and abilities, forming creatures that defied logic itself.Yet power came at a price.To advance, to unlock the system’s hidden functions, he needed spiritual stones countless, unending spiritual stones. Every ability, every upgrade, every path forward demanded a fortune. Alchemy, formations, talismans, swordsmanship nothing was beyond his reach, as long as he could afford it.Thus, Ray chose the only path left to him.If the world would not grant him strength, he would take it for himself. As the Vice Sect Leader, he would amass wealth, plunder resources, and rob cultivators blind not for greed, but for survival.A powerless man? No.A schemer, a thief, a legend in the making Ray Darkheart would rise.[sect building] [business empire] [disciple cultivation] [comedy] [alchemist] [formation master] [sword dao] [system] [monster fusion] [resource management] [plundering] [strategic growth] [power progression] [cultivation world]