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... wouldn’t be all candlelit dinners and peaceful walks through Tuscan vineyards.

No, because I married Vanessa Belmont—now Vanessa Belmont Jang, a fact she still grins about every time she says it—and where Vanessa goes, chaos follows like an overeager puppy.

Case in point: the two jewel thieves currently fleeing our hotel balcony after my wife gave them her necklace like she was tipping a particularly talented street performer.

I turned to her, ready to deliver the kind of ...

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