The Guardian gods - Chapter 23: language

”When I tell you to proceed with Plan A, you can’t just ignore it and go with Plan B,” said the king.

”Sure”, she replied; she’ll just go to Plan C then! No biggie.

”If you were told to go eastwards, you can’t just ignore me and go in the opposite way,” the king added on.

”Yes,” she said while nodding. If she can’t go in the opposite way, North and south work fine too.

”You are NOT allowed to have affair with any other men!” the king then emphasized.

”Sure”. She replied. She never has to be the one having affair with the others. Others have it with her.

- Description from Novelupdates

“Nine Heavens cast down the Undying Tree, from the tomb the Immortal's bones were fetched;Taoist Venerable tut-tutted as they drank blood plasma, Old Buddha relished in the chew of meat;Beasts and livestock rang the Dharma Drum, city foxes and hole-dwelling rats boiled in the pot;In the Immortality Wine, the resentful spirits were fishy, at the Killing Banquet, the Dao Fruit was bitter!”In this world where Daoist Skill manifested, countless Sect Cultivators, Side Door Magicians, princes and scholars, officials of high rank and nobles all coveted immortality!Owl God Tomb, stealing heavenly secrets, Pearl Gathering Skill, Holy Infant Pill, bone effigies, Yin God Shrine, human-transformed monsters, Undying Elixir, Red Line Poison, Blood Immortal insects, Mermaid Meat, gold-threaded robes, Five Poisons Primordial Spirit, Seven Star Life Extension...They killed and harmed life only to steal the “Killing Dao Fruit” borne upon that Undying Tree!Until... a sly “Fishing Man” came to this world.Wang Yuan, born with the Small Book of Life and Death, had but a simple and unadorned dream:Amid bustling strings and smoky vistas, on a night bathed in moonlight, in peace and quiet did I lean on the rail, savoring the wind, toasting to the stars.With his “Bride in bridal clothes,” watching the sunrise at Taishan in the morning, admiring Qionghua in Luoyang at noon, and drinking under the aurora by the North Sea in the evening.“But you all smell so incredibly fragrant!No more, none shall escape, for today I shall crowdfund Cultivating Immortality! Please... my treasure, turn around!”The blood-red veil of the Bride abruptly fluttered to the ground.

Akashi was a boy so beautiful it seemed the gods had sculpted him with a touch of mischief and a dash of fragility. He wasn’t handsome in the rugged, masculine way of knights or warriors. No—his beauty was softer, captivating in its innocence. His frame was small, almost delicate, and his pale skin looked as if it had never known hardship, kissed only by the gentle sunlight of his village fields.With wide, striking black eyes that shimmered like obsidian under moonlight, and hair the color of a calm, endless ocean, Akashi possessed a charm that defied age, status, or reason. He didn’t know it, but his very existence pulled at the hearts of those who saw him—like an untouched gem waiting to be claimed.And yet, he had been untouched for a reason. Akashi had never known life beyond the boundaries of his village. He grew up surrounded by warm smiles and familiar voices. Every elder knew his name. Every child wanted to play by his side. His days were simple, his heart untouched by cruelty.But peace is a fragile thing.One night, it shattered.The sky turned crimson. Screams tore through the quiet air. Fires devoured homes. Demons—twisted beasts of shadow and rage—descended without warning. They killed with a hunger that could not be reasoned with.By morning, the village was gone.Ashes, corpses, and silence were all that remained.And Akashi… Akashi was alone.The last heartbeat in a graveyard of memories.He wandered for days, hollow and dazed, until rough hands seized him. Chains replaced freedom. Smiles were replaced by cold appraisals. And so, the boy once adored by all became something else—something to be sold.A slave.At the capital's grand auction house, he was stripped, washed, and displayed like merchandise. His beauty caused a stir. Whispers spread like wildfire.“Look at those eyes...”“That hair... Is it dyed? No, it’s real...”“So delicate... Is he even human?”To them, he was no longer a boy with a heart, but a prize to possess. A fantasy in fragile form.He stood on the stage, trembling slightly, barely able to process what was happening. The voices of the crowd blurred together—hungry, leering, filled with desire and greed. The auctioneer’s booming voice called out the bids as if Akashi were nothing more than a fine vase or a rare jewel.The numbers climbed quickly. Too quickly. Akashi’s knees weakened beneath the weight of invisible eyes drinking him in. He stared at the marble floor, trying not to cry.Then, suddenly, the room fell silent.A voice—deep, commanding, and heartbreakingly beautiful—cut through the air like silk over steel.“Fifteen thousand gold.”Time seemed to pause.Every head turned.At the back of the room, standing beneath the golden chandelier, was a woman unlike any other.She wore a flowing red gown that hugged her form like it was crafted by the gods themselves. Her long, golden hair shimmered like strands of sunlight, cascading over her shoulders with effortless grace. Her eyes, cold and blue as a glacier’s heart, stared ahead with quiet power.Even the nobles drew back. This was no ordinary bidder.It was one of the Princesses of the Three Great Kingdoms.Whispers erupted anew—but no one dared challenge her offer.Who would?She stood like royalty incarnate, a goddess who walked among mortals, and she had just claimed Akashi as her own.The boy raised his head slowly, unsure of whether to feel fear or relief. His eyes met hers—just for a second—and something in his chest shifted. She didn’t smile. She didn’t leer. Her gaze was unreadable.But it was powerful. Absolute.And it made his knees weak for an entirely new reason.He didn’t know her name. Not yet.But she had bought him.And somewhere deep inside, something told him—his life was never going to be the same.

Ye Qingge, a 22nd century dual-material firearms master, wears it!

Encountered a vicious aunt?

Ye Qingge unhurriedly took out a gun, and after shooting…

My aunt is crying!

Encountered a group of vicious bandits?

Ye Qingge unhurriedly took out a machine gun, and after firing…

Bandits cry!

Encounter an enemy army with wolf ambitions?

Ye Qingge unhurriedly resisted a shoulder-fired rocket, after launching…

Army cry!

Couldn’t help but look up and ask the sky, is there no one who can restrain her?

The emperor of a certain country who looks at the common people like nothing: let me try

A certain uncle who looks like a banished fairy on the outside and has a black belly on the inside: I will try it too

Ye Qingge: Do you choose a pistol, a machine gun, or a rocket?

A certain emperor: …

A certain uncle: …

&

I heard that Xiao Guo’s “ghost-faced” general who uses soldiers like a god and has first-class marksmanship is actually a woman?

Prince Zhou Guo on the battlefield: “Woman? No more fights, no more fights, I want to get married!”

A romantic emperor from the southern kingdom: “I happen to be short of a fierce queen, so that I can suppress the harem.”

A certain prince with white veils in the Xiao Kingdom: Sorry for being late.

- Description from novelbuddy