The Second Coming of Gluttony - Chapter 12 - Top Record

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

Every novel has a slag character, the one who decides to abandon the protagonist at his lowest, most helpless point, either because he can’t stand the poor guy’s circumstances or for other reasons. But after the protagonist wins his way in life again, they’re the ones who beg with broken sobs to be taken back.

Still, water once spilled can’t be recovered again.

Yet the unlucky Shen Jiayan has been bound to a Water Recovery* System to do just that.

*water recovery – comes from an idiom that means “spilled water can’t be recovered” (English equivalent: there’s no use crying over spilt milk).

- Description from Novelupdates

She was the world’s number one genius assassin who struck fear with just a mention of her name. Ruthless and merciless, she killed without leaving a trace. Yet she was deceived and used by the organization, and met a tragic end.

When she was reborn, she became a fat and s*upid female student.

Fat?

She stunned everyone after losing weight!

s*upid?

The president of Peking University personally came to recruit her!

Useless?

Hacker idols begged to call her goddess!

Medical giants knelt to become her minions!

Even mercenaries chased her shouting “Boss”! Math geniuses clung to her asking for solutions!

She just wanted an ordinary life, yet accidentally rose to be number one again, and gained a cunning big shot who protected and secretly pursued her.

The male and female leads fought like cats and dogs, both incredibly sly~

[Dual clean, sweet doting, face slapping, falling from grace, big shots…] [The female lead is calm, strong, a genius who acts before speaking.] [The male lead is cunning, careful, jealous, and dotes on his wife.]

No silly behavior, safe to indulge~

It tells a poignant love story. He was the most heroic man in history, and before his death he sang a sad song about a woman; she was the most charming woman in history, and before her death she danced a story about steadfast love. The story of the two had no beginning, only an ending of parting in death. After his death, he became a demon for her, and fought fiercely with the immortals of the three realms. After he was killed, his unique seven souls were hidden in various places by the immortals; she became a ghost for him, and before she passed away, she smashed Meng Po's soup bowl, and her soul flew away. Even so, he still vowed to subvert the three realms, find her in the next reincarnation, and marry her, even if it took a thousand years.