There Is A Huge Problem With My Achievement System - Chapter 16

God: I shall bestow the Saintess upon you.
Pope: W- wait a moment! This is a boy!
God: That is the Saintess.
Pope: ??????

And just like that, the Saintess was raised by the church for fifteen years without any questions asked…

- Description from Novelupdates

Zhong Yuntong was a dog raised by Zhong Jin in her previous life, quite literally a dog.She was a Celestial Cloud Demon Dog, and her father was the villainous Demon Lord from a novel, known for his ruthlessness and cunning, someone everyone wanted to eliminate.Little Tongtong, the puppy, was unaware of the turmoil outside, living a life of luxury with her villainous father, spoiled to the point of being unruly.When the demon clan was destroyed, Zhong Yuntong transformed into the form of a human child. Using her powerful sense of smell, she found her father, who was still as wise and formidable as ever, instilling fear in everyone.However, now everyone referred to him not as “Lord” but as “Director.”* * *A little child, around three or four years old, arrived at the An District Police Station. She was exquisitely beautiful, dressed in a fragrant cloud silk jacket and embroidered tiger-head shoes, clearly a well-cared-for child from a wealthy family.The child tiptoed, clinging to the edge of the inquiry desk, and loudly asked, “Excuse me, is my father here?”The female police officer smiled, “Little friend, who is your father?”“Zhong Jin.”Director Zhong Jin heard about this and was indifferent, thinking, “Just a child talking nonsense, we should find her parents quickly.”Two days later, Officer Wang handed the child over to the director, saying, “She’s your biological child.”Director Zhong, “……”Zhong Yuntong tugged at her father’s pant leg and said, “I want to eat crispy-skinned chicken.”Director Zhong, “……? Crispy… fried chicken?”Officer Wang, who understood this, confirmed, “There’s no doubt she’s your biological child.”A paternity test sent Director Zhong down the irreversible path of parenting, and after two months of chaotic child-rearing, the station received a report of a missing child, with a description that matched Zhong Yuntong perfectly.Zhong Jin remarked, “A scam call to the police station? What a genius.”The next day, the scammer arrived at the station.Zhong Jin, “……” The scam genius turned out to be his ex-wife.

Among the gods of the heavens, there was a famous laughing stock known throughout the three realms.Legend has it that eight hundred years ago, there was an ancient country within the Central Plains called Xian Le nation.The ancient nation of Xian Le had vast territory, abundant resources and content citizens. The country had four treasures: delicate beauties aplenty, thriving arts & literature, treasures of gold and jewels and last but not least, their renown Royal Highness the Crown Prince.This person, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince....you could say.... was a strange man.The Emperor and Empress considered him to be the apple of their eyes. They doted on him immensely and would often proudly proclaim: “In the future, my son will surely become a wise monarch, leaving a reputable impression for generations to come .”Yet, in the regards of what came with royalty, of riches, power and honor, the Crown Prince had no interest.What he was interested in, quoting the very words he often said to himself, was——“I want to save the common folks!”The young prince cultivated in earnest. During this time, two short stories became widely circulated. .The first story occurred when he was seventeen years old.That year, the nation of Xian Le held a magnificent Offering to the Gods parade.Although this tradition had already been abandoned for numerous centuries, through surviving ancient texts and verbal stories, one could imagine the grandeur of the event..Offering to the Gods day, Martial God Main Street.Both sides of the Main Street were overflowing with a sea of people. The aristocrats were seated on top of high buildings as they exchanged friendly chatter; while the imperial guards cleared the way with their impressive armours clinking. Young girls danced gracefully as their snow-white hands scattered flower petals like rain, filling the sky as far as the eye could see. It made people question whether the dancing maidens were more beautiful or the flowers themselves. Melodious notes sounded from within golden carriages and floated throughout the whole Imperial City. Behind honorable guards, sixteen white horses with golden bridles walked side-by-side as they pulled forward a magnificent platform.Located on top of the tall, magnificent platform was the focus of everyone’s attention, there stood the martial artist to perform a show to please the Gods.During the festive heavenly parade, the martial artist would adorn a golden mask, don splendid garments and wield a sword in one hand. He would perform the role of the first military deity in a millennium to have subdued demonic beasts——Martial God Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu.Being selected as the martial artist to perform such a show could be considered equivalent as to receiving the utmost honour, and thus the selection criteria was extremely strict. This year, the one who was chosen was none other than His Royal Highness the Crown Prince. The entire nation was convinced that he would surely be able to become the most marvellous martial artist to perform such a performance since the beginning of time.However, on that day, something unexpected occurred.During that time, the martial god on the magnificent stage was just about to land a killing blow on a demon.This was the most exciting scene, and thus the people on both sides of the Main Street were fired up with passion. The people on the city walls were also becoming more rowdy as they started outdoing each other in sticking their heads out to see, both struggling and shoving.Right at this moment, a young child fell from the top of the city gate tower.

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……