These Lunatics are Obsessed With Me - Chapter 29

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

The youngest, silly fourteenth son of the Yan Emperor had reached the age where he should be given a separated territory now. He rejected the wealthy land, neighbouring the capital city, and instead chose the wildest land in the western region— Liangcheng. Everyone shook their heads and sighed. A fool is indeed a fool. If you go to Liangcheng, you will be killed by barbarians in less than three to five years.

One year later, the watermelon presented to the Emperor as the tribute from Liangcheng in the west was sweet and crispy. There was no one in the palace who did not love it.

Two years later, Liangcheng presented corn as a tribute to the Emperor. The yield was high, and the taste was good. No one in the country could resist liking it.

Three years later, Liangcheng defeated the barbarians and presented their prisoners in front of the imperial court. The people of Yan were excited and their morale was greatly boosted.

Four years later… Everyone said that the fourteenth prince Mingyu was a fool, while the little fatty Yu, who transmigrated with the golden finger, chuckled. Let’s see how you guys look at this fool build his own territory, then.

- Description from Novelupdates

[Cover] NOW HIRING — URGENT — Ghost Story Specialist Corporation Daydream Inc. (Ltd.) Insane Benefits – Come to Work Immediately ※ Note : The company is not liable for any injuries or fatalities that may occur during the course of the employee’s duties. —— A pop-up event for some ‘modern fantasy’ media I loved so much that I even took a precious day off work to attend. On that day, I ended up transmigrating as a character in that very fantasy world. As none other than a newly hired employee at a famous large corporation! A dream job with great benefits, an excellent salary, and even kind and competent bosses. I’m using the information I know about the world to rise through the ranks at lightning speed! Am I happy, you ask? Please, just let me go home. I’m begging you. ※ Note : The genre is horror.

Born with peerless talent, profound looks, and unfathomable strength, Young Master Zhao woke up one day and chose violence.---Greetings, Fellow Daoists.This ancient scripture records the rise of a new Immortal Venerable. The one who defied fate, defiled heaven, and dominated all under the Nine Skies.They called him mad.They said he was courting death.But Young Master Zhao simply smiled and turned the heavens into his mount.From arrogant Ye Chen to the invincible Yang Kai, every so-called Son of Qi was but an insect crushed beneath his foot, stripped of destiny, reduced to stepping stone for his cultivation path.In a realm where the strong seize fate and the weak become dust, he was born with everything.While others pondered why the sun followed them, he was already a Holy Realm powerhouse, tearing through sacred mountains and enslaving ancient dragons with a single flick of his sleeve.From holy maidens to dragon priestesses,From Eastern princesses to Western empresses,From Northern jade maidens to Southern mature elders.One might count the stars in the heavens,But not the names in his harem scroll.If Fellow Daoists still do not know the difference between heaven and earth, then this scripture shall enlighten thou.---⚠️ BE WARNED, FELLOW DAOISTS! ⚠️This is no ordinary scripture. Reading further may shake your Dao heart, weaken your spirit veins, and send your cultivation into irreversible Qi Deviation.Those beneath the bone age of 18 must avert their eyes, lest they be pulled into a forbidden dual-cultivation realm with no escape.This scripture contains a potent fusion of Yin and Yang, Male and Female, light and Dark.A sacred technique long prohibited by the righteous heavens!Only those with profound Dao harmony may begin to comprehend its lewd profundity.---To the Young Masters of prestigious orthodoxy clans, wise sages & hermits, divine emperors, immortal venerables, great elders, profound sect masters, and even the all-knowing constellations:Support this rebellious scripture against the heavens by donating your Power Stones and Spirit Stones generously,And let the Lewd Dao rise once more!It's the fated time for us, the Lewd scholars, Cultured Daoists, Lustful Sages, sinister constellations, debauched emperors and horny Young Masters to stand against the righteous heavens and obtain the true Cultured enlightenment that has been suppressed since the dawn of time.For Lustful Dao!!!The Dao creator: LewdScholar