Ultimate Thief: Miss Wasteland Seven - Chapter 1 Miss Wasteland Seven ()

It was the twenty-third year of Tianxi*. Rumours traversed the streets that the all-knowing Imperial Advisor suffered a great calamity and could not help but enter seclusion to focus on cultivation. However, the commoners secretly clapped their hands and rejoiced. In the winter of the same year, a young monk appeared in the Hui Zhou Fu’s Ningyang District.

The monk’s monastic title was Xuan Min, his memories all missing, yet was versed in the arts of Feng Shui Kan Yu**. On the very first day arriving in Ningyang, he did not hesitate to take care of a dangerous manor, picking up Xue Xian, who was hidden there, along the way.

Since then, Xue Xian – who had been all-powerful in the first half of his life – gained a new life pursuit: to get this baldy*** who had only a good outer appearance to take his last breath and “smile from his grave”.

Xue Xian: If you are unhappy, then I will be happy. If you die, I’ll laugh my ass off.

Xuan Min: …

- Description from Novelupdates

Lewis Griffith loved magic ever since he was little, dreaming of the day when he would awaken and become a great 'Mage'.

However, this dream is shattered upon the discovery that he was inept, unable to form a mana core, and ever utilize magic.

Still, due to his outstanding dedication to the art, he studied magic and developed countless theories and schools. His unique concept revolutionized magic in the world, making him one of the most renowned scholars in history.

Surprisingly, he reincarnates after several centuries have passed since his death, once again thrust into the world of magic.

Will his second time be different? Or will he be the same Magic theorist he was in the past? The tale of Jared Leonard, formerly known as the Great Sage of Magic, is just beginning.

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I am the only person free from the control of the Status Window.

*

Just a word from me, and my status window is gone.

To be more precise, an error occurred when I took over the possession of the body.

“Ah, why didn’t the dragon drop a single artifact?”

Thanks to this, I am gradually distanced from humanity.

My end was not majestic, my beginning was not beautiful, but I will make damn sure that I rise once more. No more shall I bend a knee, no more shall I hide, no more shall I cower. No more shall the light guild my path, for only Darkness remains.

***

Killed by the universe's greatest killer, Truck-Kun. My existence was twisted as I gazed up at King-Yama, staring down at me with revulsion, “You sick bastard, you ate people.” He bellowed, glaring at me with disgust.

Snorting, I gathered my courage raising my head high and proud, my voice carrying a hint of pride, “So what, have you ever tried it...Let me ask you, have you ever had sex.”

A bewildered expression hung on his rugged appearance as he absentmindedly nodded. A slight smirk crossed my face as I declared, “then have you ate ass,”

“WHAT!!!” He balled in panic, shivering like a guilty man on trial.

“HAHA, you call me disgusting, but it appears you were sucking ass, now that is truly disgusting. I don't judge, but if you ask me, I will stick to cannibalism.”

“THAT NOT A FAIR COMPARISON, YOU LITTLE SHIT,”