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... the weekend, and the occasion was the 80th birthday of the lord of Burg Eltz. The entire Burg Eltz family had gathered—not just the immediate relatives but also many branches of the extended family, all here to celebrate Wooden S. Washington's milestone birthday.

Well, not quite the entire family. One member was missing—a child born out of wedlock, currently living abroad. Naturally, such a person would be unwelcome at an event like this.

The grand and luxurious banquet hall of ...

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