30 Days of Passion and Revenge-Chapter 312: Lost in Regret

Two bodyguards rushed forward, hurriedly reporting their findings.

"Bang—"

Ethan’s eyes darkened as he lashed out, his fist slamming into one of them, sending both sprawling onto the floor.

"I don’t want excuses!" he roared. "If you don’t find him soon, you won’t live to see another day!"

He wouldn’t allow Alex to exist a second longer than necessary.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Blackwood!" The two men scrambled to their feet, stumbling as they fled, not daring to linger another moment.

Alex Carter.

Ethan’s fist is connected to the wall, and the impact splits his knuckles. Blood seeped through his fingers, but he didn’t even flinch. His face was rigid with fury, his eyes filled with hatred.

Meanwhile

Ethan and his men were already gone when Lily’s yacht reached the shore.

He hadn’t even waited for her.

He hadn’t even looked at her.

She knew how much he despised betrayal. And this time...

"Miss Anderson!"

A familiar voice called out desperately.

Lily turned to see Butler Aston and a group of house staff standing on the beach. But they weren’t alone—Ethan’s bodyguards surrounded them, guns drawn.

"Let them go," one of the leading guards ordered with a flick of his wrist.

At his command, the bodyguards lowered their weapons, retreating and driving off in their vehicles.

Aston rushed to her side. "Miss Anderson, are you alright? Come, let’s get you cleaned up."

She didn’t resist as he guided her toward the white villa.

This place...

It had been built by Alex as a dream home for her.

Now, stepping inside felt like the cruelest joke.

She wanted to refuse. She tried to run far away.

But more than anything, she wanted to wash away every trace of Alex.

The moment she stepped into the bathroom, she collapsed against the door.

Ethan’s face flashed in her mind.

The shock in his eyes when he saw her.

He was frozen on the yacht’s stairs, unable to move.

And then...

The way he had walked away without saying a single word.

Lily squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her teeth into her lower lip to hold back the sobs threatening to escape.

She had lost him.

Completely.

What was she to him now? She had indirectly caused his mother’s death. She had sworn she loved him, yet she had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

Even she despised herself.

Her body trembled as she slid down to the floor, hugging her knees tightly.

The scent of mint lingered on her oversized shirt—Alex’s scent.

Disgusted, she tore it off.

As she did, a folded piece of paper slipped from the pocket, landing softly on the floor.

Frowning, she picked it up and unfolded it.

It was filled with handwriting—Alex’s handwriting.

A formula.

A detailed process for creating an antidote.

Lily’s breath hitched.

An antidote?

Why now? What use did she have for this?

Her life was already in ruins. Her father had died because of her childhood sweetheart. Ethan’s mother had died because of her existence.

What was left for her?

She crushed the paper in her fist and tossed it aside.

It didn’t matter anymore.

She turned on the shower, stepping beneath the cascading water. She let it pour over her, soaking her hair and skin—desperate to cleanse herself of everything.

But no matter how warm the water was, she still felt cold.

Icy.

Frozen to her very core.

As she lifted her arm, her gaze caught her reflection in the fogged-up mirror.

She leaned closer, examining her skin.

There were no marks.

No bruises.

Not even the faintest trace of a kiss.

Her mind raced.

Last night... she had blacked out.

She had assumed the worst.

But now...

Had Alex never touched her?

Why did she feel so exhausted? Was it the drug in the wine?

Or... was she just lying to herself?

Would Alex really have let her go? After everything?

Her thoughts spiraled as she stepped back under the water, letting it pound against her skull.

She wanted to forget.

She needed to forget.

But all she could see was Ethan’s devastated expression and Alex’s fingers gripping her chin, pulling her into a forced kiss.

The two memories played repeatedly in Lily’s mind like a cruel, endless loop.

The shower water streamed down her face, blinding her, but it couldn’t wash away the suffocating weight pressing on her chest.

She couldn’t even cry.

Ethan...

Standing beneath the scalding water, Lily closed her eyes, her face hollow with despair.

What now?

Where could she even go from here?

When Lily exited the bathroom, Butler Aston was already waiting for her. His expression was uneasy.

"Miss Anderson."

"What is it?" she asked.

Before he could respond, the door suddenly burst open with a loud bang.

Alice Johnson shoved past two maids, her eyes red and swollen, her face twisted with fury.

"Where is he?" she demanded. "Where is Alex?!"

Lily stiffened.

Alice looked worse than before—disheveled, desperate, barely holding herself together.

"I don’t know," Lily answered, shaking her head.

Since waking up on that yacht, she hadn’t seen Alex.

"You’re lying!" Alice’s voice trembled with hysteria. "You hid him, didn’t you? You’re planning to run away with him! You’re going to leave with him, aren’t you?!"

Run away? With Alex?

Lily felt a chill crawl up her spine.

How could she ever escape with the man who had taken her father’s life?

Alice shoved past her, frantically searching the villa, yanking open doors, and tearing through rooms.

"Alex! Stop hiding! Come out!" she screamed, her voice cracking. "We can still make this work! We can still be together!"

Lily stood frozen, watching Alice unravel before her dreamhouse—had once been b and for Lily.

Now Alice was tearing it apart, piece by piece.

Maybe... she had wanted to do this all along.

"Alex!"

Alice stormed into the walk-in closet, ripping down an entire row of dresses, sending them tumbling to the floor.

"Everything here is about you, Lily!" she sobbed, her voice raw with rage. "He only ever saw you!"

She clawed at the delicate fabrics, shredding them with shaking hands.

But instead of stopping her, Lily stepped forward, grabbed one of the dresses—then ripped it apart herself.

Alice froze.

She stared, stunned, as Lily continued, tearing dress after dress, destroying them with the same reckless abandon.

Then, suddenly, Alice lunged forward and snatched a dress from her hands.

"You have no right!" she hissed, her voice shaking. "You have no right to destroy these!"

Lily met her gaze, silent.

Did Alice need an outlet for her pain?

Didn’t she need one too?

Why was it that everyone else got to lash out, scream, and destroy—while she was just supposed to take it?

Why was she always the one people used, discarded, blamed?

Was she not even allowed to feel?

Alice clutched a gown to her chest, her voice trembling.

"This dress..." she whispered. "When we were in Paris, Alex saw it in a boutique window. It wasn’t for sale, but he stayed in Paris for two weeks to convince the owner to sell it to him."

Her fingers tightened around the fabric.

She dropped it to the ground and picked up another.

"And this one... we were on a date when he saw someone wearing it. He didn’t even finish his meal—he just left me sitting there and ran off to buy it for you."

Tears streamed down her face as she continued, her voice breaking.

"Every dress... every pair of shoes... he bought them in different sizes, hoping he’d find you one day. And all I could think was—if only he cared about me even a fraction as much as he cared about you."

Alice’s words pierced through Lily’s chest like a blade.

She thought back to the first time she had stepped into this house.

Alex showed her everything like a child revealing his most treasured possessions, his eyes shining with excitement and his voice soft with devotion.

He had treated her like a princess.

Back then, he had been warm, gentle, hopeful.

Had he ever truly changed?

Or had she just never understood him at all?

Alice’s voice rose into a hoarse cry.

"So tell me, Lily—what right do you have to destroy these dresses?"

She hurled the dress onto the floor, her red-rimmed eyes blazing.

"What right do you have to be the one he loves?!"

Her scream echoed through the empty house, raw and unfiltered.

Lily lowered her gaze.

Right?

She had none.

She never had.

Alice shoved her, her voice cracking with emotion.

"You were never supposed to be here!" she sobbed. "We were fine before you came along! If you had never existed, he would’ve stayed with me! Even if he didn’t love me, at least he was with me!"

Lily didn’t fight back.

She just stood there, letting Alice hit her, letting her rage spill out.

Alice yanked more dresses from the closet, throwing them at Lily.

"If you couldn’t love him, why did you stay in his life?! Why did you ruin everything?!"

Lily didn’t have an answer.

Maybe there wasn’t one.

Maybe, from the very beginning, she had been the one who had set everything on this path.

Had she been the problem all along?

Had she been the one who had broken everything?

Her vision blurred as she looked down at the torn dresses scattered across the floor.

She wasn’t even sure what she was looking at anymore.

Her mind drifted back to a different memory—one of Alex’s arms wrapped around her, his voice soft and pleading.

"If you don’t like them, I’ll buy new ones. Whatever you want, I’ll get it for you. Just tell me what you want, Lily. Please."

He had been so desperate for her approval.

For her love.

And she had never been able to give it to him. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Alice clutched the delicate gown in her trembling hands.

"This dress," she whispered bitterly, "was a one-of-a-kind piece we saw in a Paris boutique window. It wasn’t for sale, but Alex stayed in Paris for two weeks to convince the owner to sell it to him."

She let the dress slip from her fingers, watching it crumple onto the floor.

Then she grabbed another.

"And this one... we were having dinner when he saw someone wearing it. He didn’t even finish his meal—he just left me sitting there and ran off to buy it for you."

Her voice cracked, her tears falling freely.

She picked up each dress one by one, recounting the moment Alex had purchased it.

"He hadn’t even found you yet, but he still bought every dress in different sizes, every pair of shoes in multiple fits—just in case. Just in case, one day, he finally had you."

Her breath hitched as she sobbed.

"And I thought... if only he cared about me even a fraction as much as he cared about you."

Lily felt her throat tighten.

She remembered the first time she had stepped into this dreamhouse—the home Alex had built for her.

She could still see him, excitedly showing her everything, like a child eager to share his secrets.

He had treated her like a princess.

Back then, Alex had been warm, patient, and endlessly thoughtful.

Had he really changed?

Or had she just never indeed seen him?

Alice’s voice rose into a hoarse cry.

"So tell me, Lily—what right do you have to destroy these dresses?"

She hurled the fabric onto the ground, her red-rimmed eyes blazing.

"What right do you have to be the one he loves?!"

Her scream echoed through the empty house, raw and unfiltered.

Lily lowered her gaze.

Right?

She had none.

She never had.

Alice shoved her, her voice cracking with emotion.

"You were never supposed to be here!" she sobbed. "We were fine before you came along! If you had never existed, he would’ve stayed with me! Even if he didn’t love me, at least he was with me!"

Lily didn’t fight back.

She just stood there, letting Alice hit her, letting her rage spill out.

Alice yanked more dresses from the closet, throwing them at Lily.

"If you couldn’t love him, why did you stay in his life?! Why did you ruin everything?!"

Lily didn’t have an answer.

Maybe there wasn’t one.

Maybe, from the very beginning, she had been the one who had set everything on this path.

Had she been the problem all along?

Had she been the one who had broken everything?

Her vision blurred as she looked down at the torn dresses scattered across the floor.

She wasn’t even sure what she was looking at anymore.

Her mind drifted back to a different memory—one of Alex’s arms wrapped around her, his voice soft and pleading.

"If you don’t like these, I’ll buy new ones. Whatever you want, I’ll get it for you. Just tell me what you want, Lily. Please."

He had been so desperate for her approval.

For her love.

And she had never been able to give it to him.