A Court of Lost Stars-Chapter 40: Promises Oceans Deep

A new morning, and with it, came new peaches.

When Nova stepped into the townhouse, a new, familiar scent greeted her. She raised her brows as her gaze settled on Peter. He sat at the table next to Cassian, looked up, and smiled through a mouthful of egg.

"Good morning," he greeted her.

"Hi..." Nova glanced around the table. No one seemed uncomfortable, was it just her? She set the new bag of peaches in front of Ana, who smiled gratefully. "Is everything okay?" She ventured as she sat next to Feyre.

Peter nodded, smiling. "I know it's last minute. I wondered if you might have some free time today."

Casting her eyes toward Cassian and Azriel, she raised a brow, "Are we training in the rip tide today?" She didn't miss the furrowed brow of concern from her parents.

"Not until later," Cassian answered, "For the distance you just ran, you'll need to rest before we begin."

Peter didn't ask questions. He didn't pry, but he did smile as he said, "Well, that will be perfect for what I have planned. If you want to, of course."

Under normal circumstances, Nova would have declined. She would have opted for more meditation, yet there was a part of her that craved her time with Peter. She couldn't explain it, but the thought of it excited her.

"Alright," she paused and asked, "Will it be at the bakery? I should warn you, I don't exactly offer great customer service. According to Kyra. I look permanently pissed off."

Snorting, he shook his head, "No. I closed the shop for today."

She raised her brows. "Oh..." She trailed off. "Well, where will we be going?"

Eyes sparkling, Peter grinned.

Nova was glad she hadn't bathed before leaving, as the process to get to their destination was a dirty one. Reaching up, she took hold of the low-hanging branch on their trail and bent it experimentally before using it to glide over a collection of fallen logs.

Often, she made it a habit to tread the forest floor carefully. A decaying log to her could be a home to another, and she didn't dare disturb it.

"We're almost there," Peter supplied and glimpsed her out of the corner of his eye. "So you're going to train in the rip tide?"

Nova managed a small smile. "Yes...Cassian and Azriel are going to help me overcome my fear of drowning."

And there it is.

They were quiet as they walked, letting the chatter of birds fill the space between their silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was heavy.

"It's okay to be afraid, you know," Peter said in a low, soft voice.

Smiling, Nova nodded. "I know."

A few feet later, Peter pushed through a collection of prickly bushes. "It's just through here." Watching him lead the way, Nova frowned as little brown spikey balls clung to his shirt and hair.

"Peter," Nova frowned, and when they made it through to the other side, she planted herself in front of him and carefully removed each clinging sphere. They bit at her fingertips, but she continued plucking until they were gone.

Smiling, Peter stood still and let her watch her with a twinkle in his eyes. When she seemed satisfied, he reached forward and removed one of the same prickly balls from her hair and let it drop to the ground.

"Thank you," he murmured.

Looking into his gaze, Nova pursed her lips as she fought the urge to smile. "You're welcome..." Drawing her attention away, ignoring the flutter in her stomach, she froze where she stood.

Eyes widening, she took in the meadow as she breathed a soft gasp. The grass was lush and green, sheltered by shade, but not too much, the space didn't receive enough sunlight for the mass collection of bluebells that grew.

"They're bluebells," Peter murmured. "Do you remember the Solstice you were here?"

Nova met his eyes and slowly shook her head. "I mean, I remember some things. Bits and pieces."

"I gave you a sticky bun," he chuckled, "And in return, you sent bluebell flowers. They'd been crushed. I imagine you'd held onto them for so long, stuffing them in your pockets. Somehow, you believed I was worthy of what you valued."

Nova turned to him, and that same fluttery sensation returned. It was the same feeling she'd had with Adira, and as much as she wanted to welcome it, it frightened her.

"They're beautiful..."

Peter offered his hand to her, and Nova glanced down, swallowing harshly.

When she didn't immediately take his hand, he chuckled and nodded. "You never have to take it, but I'll always offer."

Looking up again, she offered a tight, sheepish smile. "I don't know why it's so hard for me to just..." Nova shook her head, unsure how to finish.

"You've always been guarded for good reason, Nova," Peter said, walking toward the bed of flowers. He lowered himself into the grass, ensuring he hadn't crushed any flowers in the process. Leaning back on his hands, he shrugged and smiled. "You protect yourself. It's a good thing."

Nova pursed her lips into a thin line and ventured toward him. She followed suit, kneeling in the grass, happy to let the bluebells brush against her skin.

"It's a good thing sometimes," Nova agreed. She sighed, "Then there are times it isn't good. I..." She glanced at him, memorizing the soft curve of concern on his brow. The way his green eyes glittered in the moving sunlight. "I want to be open. I want to feel what others feel, but with that emotion comes immense pain. It's not that I'm never happy. I'm often very happy. But happiness and joy are not the same. With happiness comes sadness, but the joy...comes anguish. I'd rather be balanced. To not tilt too far on one side or the other. If I can keep myself steady, I won't fall off the ledge."

Frowning, Peter shook his head, "Forcing yourself never to feel joy cannot protect you from anguish. Control isn't as simple as that, Nova. Even the strongest trees can be struck by lightning, but that doesn't make them any less noble. Planting yourself firmly in the ground is fine, but never letting your leaves reach for the sky..." He shook his head and continued, "You might not be able to avoid the storm, but you can at least touch the sunlight when it's over."

Nova couldn't help but smile. "Since when did you get so wise?"

Chuckling, Peter nodded, "Since befriending Finch, I've had to re-think a lot of life's decisions."

With a groan, Nova shook her head and lay down on her side, letting the bluebells caress her cheek. "You two are so different. I like him, but how did you become friends? I wouldn't have thought you'd be a good match from afar."

"Nobody would," Peter grinned and lay on his back, looking up through the trees. "We grew up together underground- when everything was silent. I imagine you were told about Hybern?" He asked, turning to look at her through tall blades of grass.

Cringing, Nova nodded. "I've heard of him."

Nesta's stories had never been filtered, and for good reason, she supposed.

"Well, Finch and I were latched onto each other during that time. He had lost his mother, and his father didn't care about him." Peter smiled fondly. "We fight and bicker, but at the end of the day, he's my brother."

They let silence fill the space between them for a long time before Peter asked, "Do you remember the night we stayed with you? In the townhouse, I mean?"

Nova slowly shook her head, watching his side profile as she rested against her bicep. "No."

"His father was being a mean bastard that night," Peter pursed his lips, "And when Azriel stepped in..." He released a shuddering sigh. "I just remember thinking, finally. And then we went back to your place," he chuckled, looking over at her. "And you made us beds on the couch. Finch argued with you, and I'd never seen you look so fierce. It's probably one of my favorite memories. Not because of what Finch was going through at the time, but because there was finally hope it would stop. It made me realize how important it is to be honest. Telling Rhysand what was happening to him was the best decision I'd ever made, and even after that, I was too afraid to tell you."

Nova frowned, tilting her head to the side. "Tell me what?"

"That I love you..."

Nova stopped breathing as she met his green gaze. So calm and serene.

Sincere.

"Peter-" She started.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same," he smiled softly, "I just needed you to know."

Swallowing, Nova, beyond her better judgement, crawled toward him and settled down in the space right next to him. With the distance closed, she could smell the permanent stain of vanilla on his skin. Not daring to look at him, she lay down next to his arm and let his presence envelop her.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in.

"Can we...wait to talk about that after the High Lord meeting?" Nova asked softly, risking a glance up at him.

Peter lowered his head closer to her ear and whispered, "Nova, I'd wait for you til the end of time."

Shuddering warmth filled Nova's chest, no...not her chest.

Her soul.

So, this is what joy feels like, she thought, and smiled to herself.

The warmth that had enveloped Nova in the meadow of bluebells was stripped away as she walked with Cassian and Azriel across the beach. A cold front was blowing through, bringing with it frigid, pelting rain that stung her exposed skin.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Cassian asked over the whistle of the wind.

"Yeah," Nova nodded, though her stomach plummeted at the sight of the crashing waves. They spewed sea foam in every direction with every slam against the rocks. "It's going to be fun!" She said through her uncertainty.

Chuckling, Azriel pointed a scarred finger at the darkened sky. "We'll be flying above to keep an eye on your progress and intervene at intervals. If you need a break in between, stop swimming. When we see you not moving, we'll know to come down."

"The rip tide starts there," Cassian said, leading her closer to the water. "Do you see the break in the water? It's darker in the middle with waves breaking on either side. That's it. It can take you out hundreds of yards if you're not careful. To get out of it, you need to swim parallel to the shore. You don't fight the current- that's how you lose your stamina. Slow and steady, but avoid the rocks."

Nova nodded, "Got it!"

As Cassian took flight with his mighty wings, Azriel squeezed her shoulder with light pressure. "We're right here for you. The goal isn't to fight the waves, but to move with them. To find your calm in moments of chaos."

This chapter is updat𝓮d by freēnovelkiss.com.

Nodding, Nova took a steadying breath and walked toward the breaking waves. Her heart raced faster the closer she got- it took everything in her not to turn around and go back up the beach.

Calm.

Find your calm in the chaos.

Control.

Fully clothed, Nova walked into the water, directly into the riptide. Each curling wave against her shaking legs nearly knocked her off balance. She held her arms out, righting herself just in time before it could take her. Then, before she knew it, she stepped down from the slope, and the sand shifted beneath her feet. Losing her footing, she slid down as a swell slammed over her, pushing her down and dragging her without restraint into the unforgiving torrent.

She didn't get a chance to break the surface as another wave plowed her over. There was no time to think- no time to do anything but panic as the water rushed in. Unable to see past the darkness, Nova screamed in silence. The control she'd fought so hard to contain was ripped from her in an instant and then...BAM!

A different darkness as the waves slammed her repeatedly against a growing sea stack. She wasn't strong enough to fight the current, nor coherent enough...to hold her breath.

Cassian slammed into the splintering ocean first, his glowing siphons creating an eerily red hue to the water, but managed to snag his arms around Nova's waist and pulled her up.

Coughing and sputtering, Nova breathed in fresh air that pushed the water from her lungs with a deep hacking. She was hardly aware of the sand on her skin as Cassian lay her on her side.

"Careful with her head," came Azriel's voice as he landed with a loud thud next to them and kneeled.

Nova hissed as fingers touched a tender spot on the back of her head, but she could do nothing to reach for them. Her eyes lingered on the ocean, where the waves continued to taunt her. Staggering to get to her feet, Nova began crawling toward the waves with a venomous scowl.

Hands grabbed her hips and pulled her backward. "Nova, you're done for today."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Cassian moved to kneel in front of her. "Look at me."

Nova tried to look up at him, but her eyes shifted as her stomach rolled, and she lost her lunch of peaches and toast to the sand.

"Az, get Madja," Cassian demanded as he swooped forward and lifted her into his arms. He extended his wings and used them as a shield against the rain before jogging toward the townhouse.

Time seemed to stand still as Cassian barged into the house and frantically called out for help, but the sound of his cavernous voice seemed to float on Nova without really hearing him. Everything spun like the time she'd hit her head falling from the tree Nesta told her not to climb.

Nesta, where was Nesta?

Rhysand and Feyre appeared in front of them without delay, and a new set of fingers brushed her forehead.

"What happened?" Rhysand asked, following Cassian as he placed Nova on the couch.

"I'm okay," Nova slurred.

"She hit her head against the rocks," Cassian swallowed as he kneeled by the couch's arm. "Az left to get Madja."

Feyre cringed at the sight of blood seeping from the back of Nova's head. "I knew there'd be risks to this training exercise, but dammit Cas...I thought you had precautions in place."

Something stirred inside Nova, and she glowered at her mother. "Stop." Despite feeling as though she were lying on a bed in a rocking boat, she could discern two things.

One, she was alive.

And two, this wasn't Cassian or Azriel's fault.

"Nova-" Feyre began.

"I'm allowed to get hurt to get better."

Feyre parted her lips to respond, but Azriel landed on the floor, leaving his puddles as he set Madja on her feet. They were both soaked, but also wore frigidly worried brows.

"I'm okay," Nova started to sit up, but lay back again as the swell from the ocean recreated itself in her head. "It's not the first time I..." she slurred, "hit my head...why's it so loud?" And bright? She closed her eyes to block out the light overhead.

"Well, I don't doubt that," Madja said with a small smile as she approached. "Take a step back, please."

With some resistance, her family stepped back to give Madja and Nova a bit of space. Moving to kneel in front of her, Madja stared at Nova, but despite staring in her direction, she didn't meet her eyes. It was like her mind had been blurred, and she couldn't focus on her face.

"Nova?" Madja asked.

A few seconds later, Nova responded, "Yes?"

Madja nodded, furrowing her brow as she observed her. "I'm going to take a look at your head," she smiled softly. "It's been a long time since I last saw you. Though, I hope you're a better patient this time around."

Nova tried to focus her vision on her, but when it caused a throbbing wave through her skull, she stopped. It was the soft probing of fingers against raw, sensitive flesh that Nova bared her teeth, but otherwise stayed still.

"Hm," Madja nodded, this time letting her hand hover over her head. "I don't sense swelling inside, but I'll keep a close watch. Her symptoms are similar to what they call a concussion in the Mortal World."

Reaching into her bag, Madja withdrew a few supplies and laid them out. "Turn the lights off. Keep your voices low. She needs time to rest." Without another word, Madja worked quickly and quietly to clean and bandage Nova's head.

"Nova?" She murmured. "I'm going to give you a tonic to help your body relax. It will help you sleep for some time."

With the lights off and the only sound being the rain against the window, Nova could focus a little more and nodded. She took the tonic without complaint, but she'd admit, the remnants of peaches and bile didn't help in its taste.

"How'd it go?" Finch's booming voice came from the door, and Nova shuddered.

Madja was on her feet in an instant and pointing her finger at Finch, who stared at her with wide eyes and sopping wet hair. "Lower. Your. Voice." She hissed.

"Sorry..." He whispered and looked over at Peter and Kyra, who wore the same expressions of surprise.

Peter frowned, peering around the angry healer to look at Nova on the couch. He swallowed as he stared at the blood that had absorbed into the wrapping around her head. "Is she okay?" He asked, his heart frantic as he tried to step around Madja, and to his surprise, she let him.

"She will be," she nodded. "But she's taken quite a spill and needs peace."

"We can help with that." Finch nodded, voice quiet.

Madja narrowed her eyes at him as he grinned and said, "Honest."

"I'm okay," Nova argued. She did feel okay, the tonic was starting to fight against the thundering ache in her head, but in turn, made it difficult to keep her eyes open.

Rhysand managed a small smile, "Alright. Out. Now."

"We're her emotional support gremlins." Finch offered.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Rhysand narrowed his eyes, "Gremlins sounds about right."

Nova couldn't stop herself from smiling, but it slowly relaxed as she was pulled further under. It was Peter's voice that kept her above, and she clung to his words.

"We just want to make sure she's okay," he spoke with soft sincerity. "Please?"

Contemplating, Rhys slid his gaze to Feyre as she slowly nodded. "If anyone disturbs her, you'll be leaving. Understood?"

Finch saluted and sat down on the carpet at the foot of the couch where Nova lay, then frowned at the sight of the bruises under her eyes and along the ridge of her nose. "Damn, you got into a fight with the ocean and lost."

"Finch..." Feyre warned.

Nova's laugh stopped her. "Hm, pretty sure I left a few teeth on the rocks."

Grinning, Kyra shook her head as she sat on the edge of the coffee table. "Badass."

"I bet," Peter chuckled as he sat near her head, but angled his body to see her face, "you'll try it again."

"Mhm," Nova murmured as her eyes grew heavy again. How much of a dose had Madja given her? As the sounds of the room were replaced with the rush of silence, she slipped into much-needed rest.

Peter watched her face relax, and frowned, but looked up as Feyre walked near. "If you'd like to stay, you're welcome to, but she's taken some tonic and likely won't wake for a few hours."

Smiling, Peter nodded and glanced at Finch and Kyra. He didn't want to make them feel obligated to stay, but he knew he wasn't going anywhere.

Finch shrugged and laid down against the plush carpet. "She stayed with me. I'd say it's time to return the sentiment."

"Well, I'm not leaving," Kyra declared as she settled into the other couch.

As Nova and her friends nestled in for the night in the darkened sitting room, Madja bid them goodnight by saying, "I'll be back first thing in the morning to check her progress."

Rhys and Feyre, followed by Az and Cas, sat down at the table in the dining area with their gazes occasionally cutting to where Nova slept.

"What happened?" Feyre asked with a frown. "I thought you were going to have her train away from the rocks?"

Cassian shook his head, "We did. That's just it. She went under from the tide, we expected that, but we thought she'd be carried further out."

"And she wasn't?" Rhysand questioned.

Az shook his head and rubbed his jaw in thought. "It was like something dragged her toward the rocks. She was there and then she wasn't. We warned her about the rocks as general advice, but she was nowhere near the rocks."

"How far were they?"

"At least fifty yards. Even if she'd managed to break from the tide, she wouldn't have been able to swim fast enough to get there in the time she did."

They turned their heads to watch Nova again, but Feyre noticed another set of eyes on their daughter. Peter, while lying motionless on the ground, watched Nova sleep. Heat reached Feyre's eyes as she imagined Peter's childhood infatuation turning into something much more powerful.

He needs to know...Feyre murmured against Rhys' mind.

Rhysand shook his head. No. We must not give in to the fear that the future, her future, cannot be altered. I will fight for her choice with my last breath.

Breathing deeply, Feyre nodded as she continued to watch them. Silently pleading with the universe to let their star be happy.