Abnormal Gourmet Chronicle-Chapter 1078 - 525: Funeral Planning (Part 2)

"I came at noon. I had something to discuss with Luo Jun today. We were discussing some serious matters. I asked my brother to pick up Huihui, and she'll be staying at his place tonight," Chen Huihong said cheerfully, stepping aside to let them in. 𝘧𝓇𝑒𝑒𝑤ℯ𝑏𝓃𝘰𝑣ℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

After Qin Huai entered, he cautiously glanced toward the living room and noticed Luo Jun sitting on a beanbag chair. There was an iPad on the coffee table in front of him, showing what seemed like a promotional video.

Luo Jun was fully engrossed in watching the video and didn't even spare a glance for Qin Huai and Zhao Cheng'an, indicating that this was indeed serious business.

"Sister Hong, what are you discussing?" Qin Huai asked curiously, lowering his voice to avoid disturbing Luo Jun.

"It's Luo Jun's funeral planning video," Chen Huihong said, biting into a plum as she spoke, "I found a very professional funeral planner for Luo Jun. He's a top planner in our city, with rave reviews. No one has ever been dissatisfied with a funeral he's planned!"

"Xiao Qin, I'm telling you, the opposite party is really professional. Knowing how high our standards are, they've given us three planning schemes and even made a video of each one to make it easy for us to choose. Since you and Xiao Zhao are here, you can both give some advice on which one is better. If we're not satisfied, there's still time for them to come up with new ideas, since Luo Jun isn't dead yet."

Qin Huai: ??

Zhao Cheng'an's eyes lit up: "There's even funeral planning!? Times really are changing. I've died so many times previously and never heard of funeral planning. This is great! Can he make a reservation in advance? I don't know when I'll die, but if I plan ahead, I won't be caught off guard in case I suddenly die one day and can use it right away."

Qin Huai: ???

Chen Huihong began to seriously discuss this with Zhao Cheng'an: "I haven't asked about that, but it should be possible. With this thing, you just pay and they plan. Pay a deposit, and once you're satisfied with their work, pay the balance. But Xiao Zhao, your situation might be a bit tricky, considering you don't know when you'll die. If you end up living for decades more, paying in full would be a rip-off."

"Tell you what, I'll ask tonight if it's possible to just buy the plan. It's like house renovations, where you can just buy the design blueprint. We'll just buy the plan, write it into your will, and hold the funeral according to that plan as soon as you die—reliable." Chen Huihong thought she was truly brilliant, taking a big bite of the plum with satisfaction.

Zhao Cheng'an also thought Chen Huihong's suggestion was good and nodded repeatedly: "Sister Hong, you're so reliable in getting things done! I never thought of this; please help me get in touch. I'll buy several plans and choose one I like best when the time comes."

"I might as well buy one for Xia Mubing too. He'll definitely die before me, so he can use it first and I can see how it works."

Qin Huai: ...

Enough, I said enough!

Can't you spirits stop talking about such hellish matters so casually like you're chatting about everyday life?!

The increasingly loud discussion between Zhao Cheng'an and Chen Huihong started to disturb Luo Jun, who was watching his own funeral planning video. Luo Jun was displeased and tapped the coffee table with his finger, angrily saying, "Enough, what are you two talking about? Is it your two's turn to die? The one who's supposed to die now is me, so don't interrupt my video watching."

"Chen Huihong, is this funeral planner you contacted reliable? The planning video seems okay, but will they cut corners in reality? Is my tombstone almost ready? When will it be shipped back to the country? When shooting the video, how many seconds should the tombstone get a close-up? I don't like these eight sets of grave clothes; have them bring more. And the chosen music, I don't like it either. Change it to jazz."

"And this, what's with this decor? Is it for the dead to see? I'll be reincarnated and come back to watch the video, so the colors and tones all need to be changed. What I've said should be written into the contract, and after I die, you must ensure they strictly follow it." Luo Jun criticized in detail, just short of scrutinizing the video frame by frame as if leaving a negative review for a food delivery.

"Don't worry, we who've died before know how important a funeral is. We didn't have the means before, but now we do, your funeral will be grandly conducted!"

"But really, Luo Jun, don't you want to add some singing and dancing to your funeral? If you don't like the trumpets and pipes, we could hire an orchestra to play violins and saxophones." Chen Huihong sincerely suggested, "If there are no performances, the funeral will be too bland, just keeping vigil and playing mahjong. You don't have children, so it'll definitely be us keeping vigil for you. I, Xiao Qin, Jingjing, and Old Shi could make a foursome for mahjong, but playing too long makes the back hurt."

"I think it needs something different, how about a buffet dinner?"

Luo Jun was furious: "A buffet dinner at my funeral, are you out of your mind? Why didn't you say for me to book a golf course for you to play golf during my funeral?!"

"No need for that, I don't know how to play golf."

"I think my idea is great, a funeral should be different, so it has something to remember in the next life. Don't you think so, Xiao Qin? By the way, Xiao Qin, what are the funerals you've attended like before? Don't you think a funeral should have some performances?" Chen Huihong threw the question to Qin Huai.

Luo Jun also looked at Qin Huai.

Qin Huai: ...

It's hard to say.

Qin Huai had attended funerals, not only attended but also cooked, handling snacks. In Qin Family Village, there would be elderly passing away every few years. Whenever there was a funeral during Qin Huai's university holidays or after graduation while he sold breakfast in Qiu County, he would attend to the snacks when invited, so Qin Huai had participated in quite a few funerals.

In terms of style, they varied.

Some were simple.

Others were grand, with priests conducting rituals, dutiful children and grandchildren circling the altar with incense all night, carrying the coffin around the town before burial, with firecrackers along the way and a troupe performing for seven days straight for the first week.

These were all funerals.

The discussion that Luo Jun and Chen Huihong just had...

Qin Huai found it hard to call that a funeral or anything; it was just... a very mystical thing.

Singing and dancing performances, what on earth?!

Internally, Qin Huai screamed, but outwardly did not show it, merely pretending not to understand such matters, as he wasn't a spirit and hadn't died before, appearing inexperienced.

"I... I'm not sure," Qin Huai said, silently taking a step back, feeling it was time to head to the kitchen to make some snacks.

Usually aloof, never engaged in any conversation topics, always daydreaming, and never catching the point, Zhao Cheng'an surprisingly took active participation this time.

Zhao Cheng'an took a step forward, putting distance between himself and Qin Huai, and said excitedly, "You can't tell from just watching the planning video."

"You have to visit the site!"

"Just like weddings, where the planners talk the talk, but on site, it's all corner-cutting. If you don't find any issues early on and realize the scam halfway through the wedding, it's too late!"

"We must conduct on-site evaluations, verify that the relevant teams behind it are problem-free. Let them explain everything on-site, then get into the details and contracts. Paperwork alone isn't reliable; it must be grounded to be dependable!"

Luo Jun slightly nodded, evidently agreeing with Zhao Cheng'an, and even viewed him with newfound respect, like a mayfly seeing something remarkable.

"Chen Huihong, can we see the site?" Luo Jun asked.

"Absolutely, of course you can. How do you think the plan was finalized? Jingjing and I visited every funeral home in the city to pick one with the best service and largest venue for you. Xiao Zhao is right too, I can arrange for the planner to be there, so Luo Jun, you can talk to them directly on-site."

"Let me check what date to book."

"Should we bring everyone to the site? With more people, we give a stronger impression and show how seriously we take your funeral. Wait, I'll message Xiao Zhou now!"