Abyss Dominator System-Chapter 1015 - 1004: I Am Myself

Bai Yan seemed to enter a special state; he stood in place without any self-defense measures, just standing there, dumbfounded, thinking about something.

In Bai Yan's Sea of Consciousness, a smaller version of Bai Yan sat cross-legged by the river of time, watching the ceaselessly flowing water, silently reciting.

"So, what exactly is the true me?"

"The memories of the past life are me, but are the memories of this life also me?"

"If the past life's memories are primary, does that mean the me of this life is thus dead?"

"Then is it the gradually accumulating past life memories that form the present me, or is it the me of this life who actively accepts, changes, even evolves, into the current me?"

Bai Yan seemed entangled by these questions, completely unable to find answers through self-reflection.

Coincidentally, he was stuck in a dead end, unwilling to find the answer, and unable to return to a normal state.

In a normal person, this might be called mania, but in the Cultivator World, perhaps going mad would be a more vivid description.

"The me of this life is me, but are the past life memories stored all over the world also me?"

"Is it the integration of all memories that makes me? Or is every single memory me?"

"Or do past life memories not represent me at all?"

Bai Yan began to fall into a deadlock, and no matter how he thought, he couldn't come up with a perfectly coherent answer.

And the inability to be perfectly coherent meant he couldn't agree, which meant he couldn't exit this state and return to his normal self.

All along, Bai Yan, and even the entire Human Race, had very few people thinking about self-cognition; they were born with self-awareness and then just lived on.

It seemed as if this issue didn't need thinking, or as if it was collectively subconsciously avoided.

On Earth, pondering self-cognition, even considering the dialectical laws of where self-awareness resides, seemed to be the prerogative of only a minority.

But in reality, everyone has that right, it's just that most people under daily increasing pressures give up on thinking about what the so-called "self" is.

Surviving under the ever-increasing pressure is already quite fortunate, they don't have the leisure to ponder what exactly the "self" is.

Bai Yan was the same; in his past life, or in this life, he hadn't calmed down like this to think about who he really was.

Confronting the unending river of time, Bai Yan for the first time felt his own insignificance, or more precisely, for the first time he felt his own existence.

Bai Yan calmed down, beginning to stop entangling himself with "what is the self" and "which one is me" and instead turned to seemingly more complex but actually simpler questions.

What is the self of a person? Or rather, what is a person?

"Everyone has the desire to completely dominate their self." 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎

"The formation of a person comes from the interference of the material world with the most fundamental 'me.' So-called personality is merely a collection of external interferences, all the influence exerted by the outside world on people."

"A person's self is the exploration of oneself throughout life and the inquiry into the world."

"Every person is the collection of all the influences from the outside world on the fundamental 'me,' the collection of all self-reflection, the assemblage of all stubbornness and adaptability, and the ensemble of all free exploration!"

For the first time, Bai Yan stood up, standing by the river of time, looking out at the still ceaselessly flowing water.

He saw many things: his final battle with Satan, the birth of his Little Mianao and the plump boy, his reunion with Su Zhijun, even the time in the beginning when he got along with Fu Chao and the others...

All of these are part of Bai Yan, the memories of Bai Yan's current life.

But soon, many memories from past lives appeared in his mind again.

He saw himself leading his subordinates in battles against the Outer Domain, completely restraining the Outer Realm Beings outside the Endless Star Sea; he saw himself engaging in monotonous daily cultivation; he saw his first meeting with Su Yu, connected at first sight...

These are all my memories, so which one exactly is me?

Bai Yan placed his past life self and current life self on the two ends of a balance, trying to glimpse which side he leaned towards.

But this method clearly was not feasible, because both sides were Bai Yan himself! How could he lean towards one side?

So Bai Yan quickly abandoned this idea, taking both his past life self and current life self off the balance, sometimes looking at past life memories, sometimes at present life experiences.

Suddenly, a thought seemingly unrelated to his current pondering broke into his mind.

"A person's choice of whether to choose freedom is itself a manifestation of free will."

Free will.

Yes! Free will!

What am I thinking about! I am pondering which one is me! Then who is the one currently pondering this question?!

It's all me! It's all me!

Exactly! It's all me!

Bai Yan seemed to have understood the crux; everything that was originally like an existence in fog blossomed in his mind at this moment.

"I am me! All are me!"

Bai Yan stood by the river of time, his eyes suddenly opened wide, with two divine lights as if coming from beyond the heavens, instantly merging into Bai Yan's mind, perfectly aligning with those pairs of eyes by the river of time.

"The me of past lives is me! The me of this life is also me!"

It's all me!

Bai Yan cried out long in his heart.

"Hahaha!"

On the surface, Bai Yan was also laughing loudly, clutching his chest and laughing, as if he'd encountered something particularly funny.

Indeed, to ponder for so long over a problem whose answer was clearly right in front, it truly was quite amusing.

In the real world, Bai Yan also suddenly opened his eyes at this moment, while the light from beyond the heavens at this moment surged from his eyes, shooting back into the heavens, as if Bai Yan had seen through the entire Endless Star Sea with just one look.

"Brother Yan! You're finally awake!"

At the moment Bai Yan became clear-headed, a surprised voice suddenly sounded beside him.

Bai Yan roughly understood why this voice was so worried, but he didn't know how long he'd actually been in this state of contemplation.

"Fu Chao, how long have I been standing here?"

"Brother Yan, it's been a full month!"

"Heh, didn't expect that just contemplating such a question would take me a month; it seems this process of reincarnation and cultivation shouldn't be done too often, as figuring this out consumes a lot of mental energy."

Bai Yan received the answer, murmured something to himself, but in the end, he figured it out, didn't he?