(BL) Hunting The Field Guide-Chapter 468: We’re all a little crazy

Kellen had been fucked into exhaustion. It wasn’t even 5 pm and Kellen felt like his limbs were jelly, his ass was numb, and he couldn’t cum anymore. Kellen felt like his heart was full though, and watching Rhys push his wet hair out of his face, his chest rising and falling after the effort he had put in to fucking him, made something else melt inside of him.

Rhys had brought him downstairs at some point, a pack of condoms in Kellen’s arms as he did so and bent Kellen over the kitchen counter, fucking him as he made sure that Kellen drank liquids, even fed him a snack of the messiest peach he’d ever eaten in his life.

It was a wonderful experience, even if every once in a while Kellen caught a look in Rhys’ face. Kellen ignored it, pretending not to be able to see what was on his face. He was sure that Rhys was doing the same thing.

Eventually though, Kellen found himself in the bath, warm water, bubbles and Rhys wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He knew that Rhys probably wanted to do more, could do more, and he was stopping for Kellen’s sake. Kellen hated that, but also agreed that now was probably the time to stop.

Kellen leaned back, his head hitting Rhys’ collarbone and let out a deep sigh. Rhys tightened his arms around Kellen, pressing a kiss against his temple.

"What’s up?" Rhys asked softly and Kellen just shook his head. freёnovelkiss.com

"I want to do more, but we should stop." Kellen told him and Rhys let out a soft chuckle.

"So you liked it?" Rhys asked and Kellen turned his head to look at the man. His face was relaxed, as relaxed as he could be given the situation, and Kellen gave a soft chuckle.

"Did any part of what I did tell you that I didn’t?" Kellen asked in turn and Rhys’ lips curled up in a smile.

"No. I just wanted to hear it from your mouth. Rhys told him and Kellen nodded. He let out a soft sigh.

"I really liked it. To the point that I was asking myself why I had waited for so long, why we had waited so long. I was close to giving you your wish, you know. Where I was fully begging you for it." Rhys’ eyes widened slightly, before he grumbled.

"You should have told me that, Kellen!" Rhys complained and Kellen laughed.

"It’s fine. We still got here, didn’t we?" Kellen said and Rhys’ eyes grew a little more withdrawn, a little more thoughtful. His arms around Kellen’s body tightened slightly.

"Yeah. We did get here eventually." Rhys said and the weight hung between them. It was actually a bit of a miracle that the peace had held for this long. Kellen hesitated before he raised his hand, clasping Rhys’ under the water.

"Do you...regret it?" Kellen asked softly. He suddenly felt like an asshole. Like he was the one who forced Rhys into this. He kind of felt like he had. A sick feeling filled his stomach when Rhys didn’t reply right away with a no.

"I don’t." Rhys said eventually but that didn’t make Kellen feel better. Rhys didn’t remain completely silent, and continued speaking. "I...I won’t lie and say that I don’t have conflicting feelings about this. We both know...I’m not going to be well for a while." Rhys told him and Kellen felt pained.

"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you not to-" Kellen was trying to backtrack. Feeling awful, feeling terribly and guilty. Rhys gave him a squeeze.

"It’s okay." Rhys told him softly. "It’s okay, Kellen. I think the worst part of this all is that I completely understand why you asked for what you did. It’s not like I haven’t gone into gates before, glad that you weren’t coming in with me. We might not have meant anything to each other at the time, but I still had those thoughts. I just...there’s a difference to it now, and I think I need to be a bit more gracious when it comes to these things." Rhys said and Kellen shifted, shaking his head in disagreement.

"No. You aren’t wrong for feeling what you’re feeling. You don’t need to be gracious. I-" Kellen cut off. He didn’t know how to put it into words. There was a stone in his chest, growing bigger. "I...I’m the one wrong here. You shouldn’t have given into my whims. I’m sorry." Kellen didn’t know what else to say and Rhys pulled him against him again. He squeezed Kellen tightly.

"I didn’t want you to feel like this before you left." Rhys told him quietly. "You did nothing wrong, and I didn’t do anything wrong either. Things...happened, and we have to deal with the outcome now. You’re okay. I have to believe in you. You’re going to make it out okay, like you think you will, and I’ll be okay here. That’s our promise to each other, isn’t it?" Rhys asked softly and Kellen nodded. He was feeling emotional, like he was going to cry again so instead he let out a shaky breath.

"Yeah. That’s...that’s our promise." Kellen agreed weakly and Rhys sighed. "You’re so good at this." Kellen told him. "Gentling others. Is it because you’re a Captain?" Kellen asked and Rhys remained quiet for a moment.

"Hmm. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but maybe? It might also come from the fact that I see all futures, so some things just feel inevitable." Rhys said and Kellen felt his heart drop. That wasn’t the feeling that he wanted the other man to have.

"Rhys, that’s...not what I want you to feel." Kellen told him and Rhys smiled at him warmly.

"It’s okay, Kellen. You didn’t make me feel this way. Truly. I just think that my powers do play a role into why I am taking this the way that I am. If I was anyone else?" Rhys let out a low, terrifying laugh and Kellen felt all the hair on his body stand on end. "I feel that you wouldn’t be going into that gate at all, family or otherwise." Kellen was grateful that Rhys wasn’t that kind of S Class.

Besides, that wasn’t the kind of person that Kellen was attracted to anyways.

"Well, uh, I’m glad you aren’t like that." Kellen told him and Rhys shifted slightly.

"Hmm. You would run away from me more and do things on your own without letting me know if I was. I would probably not like that I was considered a stalker of some kind, but then again, would I even care if I was that crazy?" Rhys chuckled, humoured by the dark thought. Kellen wasn’t finding it as funny.

"You aren’t like that, you’ll never be like that." Kellen told him seriously and Rhys sighed.

"You’ve not seen me at my worst, Kellen. I...no, I don’t want to worry you." Rhys said. "You have enough worries on your shoulders right now, I don’t want to make it worse for you." Kellen felt like maybe now was the time to tell him that he knew what he’d done? What he’d planned?

When he looked back at Rhys’ face, he froze. Rhys looked genuinely upset, concerned, fearful. Kellen frowned. He pushed Rhys’ hands away from his body, only so that he could turn around in the tub. He wrapped Rhys’ arms around him again since the man was in shock that Kellen had taken his arms off of him, and then Kellen wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Baby." Kellen started. "I love you for you. Everything about you, even the parts you don’t like, I love. So what if you’re a little crazy? It’s my job to help you regulate that, and I don’t care that I do that either. I’m twisted too. I like that you have to rely on me for something that others take for granted. I’ve never been an Esper, but I know it takes a lot out of you. You probably constantly question if you’re an actual monster, don’t you?" Kellen asked softly, playing with the few wet strands on the back of Rhys’ neck.

Rhys wouldn’t meet Kellen’s gaze, but his arms tightened around him.

"You’re not going to like my response." Rhys muttered, and that was enough of an answer for Kellen. Kellen leaned in, pressing his face against Rhys’. He just stayed there for a moment.

"It’s okay. I’m not going to run away." Kellen told him. "Not unless we’re both into it." Kellen teased and felt Rhys stiffen.

"What?" He choked out and Kellen laughed, rubbing his face against his, not pulling back.

"You heard me. I’ve already told you I’m crazy. Do you think normal people go to the front lines, Rhys? You know that isn’t true. Look at Hill. She’s a thrill seeker. It’s not like I don’t have that aspect to myself." Kellen told him and Rhys pulled him back to meet Kellen’s gaze.

There was a calmness there, where he had expected something more frantic. Maybe flustered. Instead, Rhys scanned Kellen’s face and Kellen felt the smile that had been there fading slightly.

"I know that." Rhys said quietly. "I know you’re also a thrill seeker. I know that about you, and I also know how big your heart is." Rhys blinked a few times before he bent, pressing his head against his shoulder. "I just wish that you could do these things without being in danger. I wish that my powers didn’t feel like a damn curse right now. I’m constantly checking on your future, without me even being aware." Rhys told him. "I’m just so scared. So worried. I’m sorry. I know you were trying to make me feel better." Rhys said against Kellen’s skin and Kellen held the other man.

"I’m sorry too. That I’m being stubborn, but I can’t let them stay there." Kellen told him and Rhys nodded.

"I know. I’m not upset that you’re doing it. Not really. Someone needs to, not just for you, but for the Guild. It’s honourable, what you’re doing. I’m just going to tear apart the whole fucking government when you get out." Rhys warned and Kellen felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Don’t start speaking like an E.A.G. member, Rhys." Kellen warned softly and Rhys let out a dark laugh.

"I’m never going to be like them. I’m doing this to protect people like you. To protect Guides and Espers alike. I’m just...sick and tired of playing nice." Rhys told him and Kellen just held him. Kellen had to make sure that he made it out in one piece so that he could see Rhys like this. See him move forward, protect the others.

Protect him.