(BL) Mafia Love; He who falls the hardest loses-Chapter 105: Come back home

"just checking in as your doctor," hiroshi responded after a few seconds of silence on the other end.

"oh . . . i am in good health thanks for checking in," haruki said with a tired sigh. that was good the man was being his doctor there was no emotional attachment to all he did so he did not need to worry about him.

"oh . . . okay," hiroshi said after clearing his throat awkwardly.

"goodbye then," haruki said when he began to feel a shift in the man’s emotions. he did not want to read too much into it as that kept him from worrying unnecessarily. freeweɓnovel~cѳm

he didn’t wait for the man to respond as he hung up on the call. with the call ended, he felt a strong sense of unease but pushed it aside as he turned to his side to sleep.

***

hiroshi looked down at his phone. there was something unusual about the call just now and he could not ease his mind. he thought of calling back but it was easy for him to strike that out. he had gone back to the hotel to make this phone call in case haruki asked him if he was alone.

he wanted to know what would happen if he gave haruki a positive answer. he had imagined many things over the past few hours only to get hung up on. he sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair.

he just wanted to go back to the hospital at that moment as he felt his mood drop drastically. he dressed up and went to visit his brother. he knocked on the door of the room before pushing it open and walked in even when he did not get a response from his brother.

unlike usual that aki sat on the bed playing a video game or watching tv, aki was curled up in a fetal position and he could notice slight trembling of the man’s shoulder as he got closer.

the position aki took made him look very thin and weak causing his brow to furrow in worry. he wondered what made him look that way when he had been very active and even a bit too playful during the past few days.

"are you in pain?" hiroshi asked aki as he got closer to his bed. he raised his hand to touch the fragile shoulder but stopped when he heard a whimper from his brother. he leaned forward and asked again, "are you okay?"

aki raised his head and looked at hiroshi with his eyes red and his eyelashes wet with tears. he cleaned his face with the sleeves of his hospital gown before turning away from hiroshi to face the other side of the room.

"why are you crying?" hiroshi had to ask as he could see from the expression his brother made that it was not physical pain after all, he looked different from when he was crying over the pain in his abdomen. "what happened?" he asked as he sat on the bed behind aki and touched his shoulder lightly.

"nothing," aki replied with a nasal voice as he coughed a bit violently.

hiroshi sighed and patted his shoulder gently. "for how long have you been crying?"

"i don’t know."

hiroshi wondered what would have happened during the few hours he had been separated from aki. aki was playing a video game with his phone when he left for the hotel to call haruki and to return to watch him cry like he was mourning someone, he could not help but feel puzzled and worried.

he got an idea so he decided to ask seriously. "did your ex-wife come?" he asked.

aki raised his head and finally sat up. "how did you know? did you see her outside?" aki asked a bit anxiously.

"so, she came," hiroshi sighed he had only guessed that to be the reason his brother was crying he didn’t know he was right about it.

"yes, she did . . . i don’t know what i did not deserve what she did to me," aki said looking down at his fingers. "i had truly come to love her just in time for her to leave. she left the moment i confirmed that i was too in love with her to ever leave. to think that she never loved me."

"that’s her loss," hiroshi said sincerely after all, he knew well that his brother had qualities even he felt he lacked a bit why else would haruki murmur his name in his sleep?

"that was what i told myself when i had to end things with her but i can’t help but wonder if i truly deserve love?"

hiroshi raised his head just in time to meet aki’s gaze before he bowed his head again. guilt filled his heart, his brother was deserving of love, and he was the one who stole the love his brother deserved.

he was the one who prevented aki from being with the person he loved, the person who had made him believe they loved aki just as much. he was the one who didn’t deserve love.

he was the one who was trying so hard to stay in a position that didn’t belong to him. he was the thief. he was the wolf trying so hard to become a sheep.

even his mother had escaped through death without an ounce of love for him and his father had not hesitated to marry someone else and shower all his love on his new son.

as much as all those words were at the tip of his tongue, he did not say them, he simply smiled encouragingly and asked, "have you forgotten you have a family that loves you?"

"family? you are so far from me."

"then come back home," hiroshi blurted out. when he realised what he said, he nodded and repeated, "come back home for a while."

"i can’t . . ."

"come home first. you can decide to leave after you think things through first. stay for at least a month by then, you would be strong enough to go back to your daily life by then you can decide to either stay at home with your father and me or you can come back to your life here if you’re healed enough to move on."

aki raised his head to look at hiroshi. he met hiroshi’s gaze as though he was searching for confirmation in hiroshi’s light colored eyes. hiroshi nodded and smiled at him.

aki looked as if he was about to cry again before he bowed his head and sniffed.

"and don’t ever say you’re not deserving of love especially when father and i are still alive. we love you why else would i come over to take care of you? i feel insulted considering all the effort i put into your care that you don’t seem to recognise."

aki sniffed again and said, "i would come with you when you’re going."

his smile broadened but it was easy to hide it considering his head was bowed until his chin touched his chest.

"perhaps a change of environment is what will help me heal faster after all, she won’t be able to casually come home to visit me even if she hears i’m dying."

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