Elysium: Desired by the Cold-hearted Princess [GL]-Chapter 314: Cowardly

Electra’s POV

I scoffed the second he said it.

"You always knew I was your daughter?" I echoed, trying not to laugh. "That’s funny, because not too long ago, I heard Jella say to your face that I wasn’t even your child. Care to explain that? Or were you just playing along for fun?"

His eyes widened, genuinely caught off guard, and that tiny reaction only pissed me off more.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just stared like he couldn’t believe I’d heard them. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and then finally let out a slow breath.

"Does this mean you also know what I did to your mother?" he asked quietly.

My eyes narrowed.

I tilted my head, feigning confusion. "What exactly did you do to her, Father?" I asked, my tone sharp. "Is there something you’d like to confess? Because from what I heard, Jella seemed pretty confident that you killed her right after she gave birth."

He winced.

So there it was. The truth, or at least the beginning of it, was now sitting there between us like a curse.

He ran a hand down his face, then through his hair, like he was trying to figure out what to say, or maybe how much to say. His shoulders sagged slightly as he leaned forward.

"I have no excuse for what I did to Solara," he said, not even trying to meet my eyes. "I’ve spent every day of the last twenty years regretting the moment I let jealousy twist something in me... something dark. I lost control of myself and lost my mind."

I felt my hands ball into fists on my lap before I even realized I was doing it. The sting behind my eyes grew worse, and my throat burned, but I held it in. Barely.

My voice came out hoarse and harsh. "So, you’re saying you’re admitting it. You’re admitting that you murdered my mother right after she gave birth to me, and you did it all because you were jealous?"

He flinched at the word, like it stung.

I got up slowly, the chair scraping against the floor as I stood. "Jealous of what exactly?" I demanded, stepping closer. "What on earth could you have possibly been so jealous of that you killed a woman who had just gone through labor? What kind of twisted, power-drunk madness makes a man do that?"

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. His fingers trembled slightly as he rubbed them against each other, like they still carried the memory of the blood he had spilled. Then finally, his voice broke through the silence, quieter this time, more fragile than I’d ever heard it.

"I know... how it sounds. I know what it looks like," he said. "And I’m not going to sit here and offer you some neat little excuse because there is none. Nothing I say can undo what I did, but I need you to understand that I didn’t do it because I hated her. I never hated her."

"Then why?" My voice cracked as I asked it.

"I loved her," he whispered.

The words slammed into me like a punch.

"I loved Solara more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life," he continued, looking up at me now with eyes so full of pain it almost scared me. "But she... she didn’t love me, not the way I loved her. Not even close."

I said nothing. I just stood there, arms crossed tightly over my chest, trying to keep myself steady.

"I was already betrothed to Jella when I met your mother, and I knew falling in love with her was wrong," he went on. "But Solara, she was different in the best way possible, and she and I were complete opposites. She was kind to everyone around her and the most patient person I’d ever met, while I was a known brute who didn’t think before he acted. Despite that, she had been kind to me."

I rolled my eyes at his words, wondering where he was going with this. I honestly didn’t need the romantic part of their story or his ridiculous nostalgia, but I let him talk. Maybe because some part of me wanted to hear it. The whole ugly truth.

"She didn’t want anything to do with me at first because of what she was and the rules that banned us from being together," he said with a bitter smile. "But I was persistent. Charming, maybe, or maybe just foolish, and she was kind enough to give me her time. Eventually... more than her time."

My stomach turned.

"She told me she was with child not long after. She said it once, casually, like it wasn’t something I should get worked up about. But I did. I got worked up about everything back then." His voice tightened. "Then she told me not to get excited because the baby wasn’t mine and that what had happened between us once had been a mistake. She told me she was marrying someone else and wanted me to move on."

I stood still, staring at him. My head was spinning, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. My lips were slightly parted, my breath shallow, but I forced myself to speak.

"So... let me get this straight," I said slowly, narrowing my eyes. "You’re saying you killed her because she told you she wanted to be with someone else? Because she told you her child wasn’t yours?"

His eyes dropped to the floor like he couldn’t bear to look at me.

"That’s not—" he began, but I cut him off.

"No," I snapped. "Don’t try to twist it. Just answer the question. Is that why? Because you thought she didn’t choose you?"

He let out a deep, shaky sigh and rubbed his face with one hand. "I know how it sounds, Electra," he said softly. "I sound insane. I sound like a monster, but at the time, I didn’t believe her. I thought she was trying to get away from me. I thought she was just saying anything to protect herself or to keep the affair from being exposed."

"The affair," I repeated bitterly.

He winced at my words.

"She was a Phoenix," he said after a long pause. "And as you know, if anyone had found out what I had done, being involved with her, it wouldn’t have just been a scandal. I would have been removed from the throne, and she would have been hunted and tortured. Executed, even."

I clenched my jaw, still pacing.

"And you thought she was lying to save just herself?" I asked.

He nodded slowly. "Yes. I thought she made him up. A fake fiancé, and I didn’t believe her because I didn’t want to lose her."

"But let me guess, you found out she wasn’t lying?" I asked, putting the pieces together.

"I did," he whispered. "I went to find her with the intention of letting her know I’d leave the throne behind if she wanted me to, and then I saw her... with him. A man I’d never seen before. He had silver-like hair, and when I saw her smile at him... that was when everything inside me cracked."

His voice was trembling now, and I could hear the desperation and regret behind it, but I didn’t feel bad for him. I couldn’t.

"She told me he was the baby’s father," he continued. "She said she loved him. That she was leaving the kingdom and marrying him, and that was when I stopped thinking. I stopped feeling. I don’t even remember what I said to her after that. I just remember going back to the palace, locking myself in my room, and... breaking down."

I turned my back to him. I didn’t want him to see the tears starting to build in my eyes.

So that was it. That was the truth he’d been avoiding. He didn’t kill her because she’d betrayed him; he killed her because she didn’t choose him, and because he hated the idea that her love was never his to begin with.

I took a shaky breath, trying to make sense of the emotions boiling inside me.

"Do you know his name?" I asked, spinning around to face him again. "This man she said was the father. Do you know who he is?"

He blinked, caught off guard by the question. "What?"

"The man she said was her baby’s father," I repeated. "The one she was going to marry. Do you know his name? His face? Anything at all? Because if she said he was the father... then maybe... maybe he really was. Maybe you’ve spent twenty years claiming me as your daughter when I never was."

His face twisted in something close to panic, and he shook his head firmly.

"No," he said. "He couldn’t be."

"Why not?" I pressed, even though I already knew that whoever the other man was couldn’t be my father. "Why are you so sure?"

"Because..." he started and then trailed off. He looked away again.

"Because what?" I asked, my voice rising. "Because you don’t want to believe it?"

He sighed. "Because he was a phoenix as well, Electra. A phoenix named Azaryon."