Endless Debt-Chapter 986 - 71: Wounds of Forgetting

"Church, as a child of the Bordon family, this is your responsibility."

The woman’s voice echoed by his ear, familiar yet strange.

"I’m sorry, Church, I’m very sorry."

The woman’s voice sounded again, filled with deep remorse and sadness.

Church walked through the dim corridor, and as the Secret Energy activated, those distant and unfamiliar memories surged like dust stirred up by flowing water, sweeping through Church’s mind.

Over the years, Church had long grown accustomed to these bizarre hallucinations and auditory hallucinations, and he knew well whose voice it was.

It should be the voice of his own mother.

Unfortunately, Church had very few memories of his mother, even to the point of unfamiliarity. Aside from the occasional auditory hallucinations, their only connection was "mother and son," a societal relationship deeply etched in his memory.

Initially, Church found it hard to accept. He awoke to a blank mind, and then a man claimed to be his father, showing him a picture of a woman, saying that she was his mother.

The feeling was subtle. Besides his own name, Church remembered nothing of his childhood, with no family memories at all. He felt like a sudden, abrupt character cut into a movie.

His bewildered self felt no emotion at all... because with no memories, he naturally felt no fluctuations.

Church remembered the man’s face, as he tried his best to appear amiable since Church was his son, yet Church could see a hint of indifference and pain in his eyes.

At that time, Church didn’t understand why, but years later, after many experiences, in a certain moment, Church suddenly understood the man’s expression.

Church remembered that moment.

He had just undergone Deep Stealth, and the outside world’s perception of him had become distorted, spreading even to himself.

He stood in front of the hospital bed, looking at that guy named Palmer Clarks. 𝙧𝙚𝙚𝔀𝒆𝓫𝓷𝙤𝓿𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝙤𝓶

From the diary, Church learned that this unlucky fellow was his partner. Palmer looked at him with a slightly unfamiliar expression, but after a while, Palmer surprisingly remembered his identity. Unfortunately, due to the Deep Stealth, Church had forgotten about Palmer.

Confronting this sincere and passionate guy, Church couldn’t muster any emotion. After Deep Stealth, to him, Palmer was just a stranger.

Indeed, a stranger.

Church felt an inexplicable pain, also at that moment, he understood why the person who called himself his father looked at him with such a complicated gaze.

Palmer’s enthusiasm, page after page of black text in the diary, all indicated the closeness of their relationship.

But he couldn’t recall any of it, not even managing to have emotional fluctuations over it, which filled Church with great fear and sadness. This indifference and numbness to himself caused him a pain beyond words.

Just like his father’s feelings towards him, like his feelings towards his mother.

Indifference and pain.

This is the Bordon family’s curse.

Now, the appearance, name, and everything about his mother were already fuzzy in Church’s mind.

The person claiming to be his father left a box of notes, supposedly left by his mother before the Complete Stripping. From these notes, one could look back on his mother’s life, but Church had never opened that box.

Why open the box? To understand a stranger? It might only add to the sorrow.

Even if he learned, so what? Perhaps it would be forgotten again someday.

According to universal emotional concepts, Church should be moved to tears and sentiment for his mother’s existence, but most of the time, his heart was undisturbed. The rare emotional moments came from his resentment towards himself.

Church often resented himself. That was his mother, yet he couldn’t feel any emotion towards her, as if facing a stranger.

Just as he resented now... that he couldn’t remember his past struggles with Palmer, unable to respond to the emotions others directed at him.

This version of himself reminded Church of the people of the Zongge Orchestra, those whose emotions became numb due to their Protection, how similar they were to him. But the difference is, they could put the blame on their Protection, while Church was left bewildered, at a loss.

"This is the fate of the Bordon family."

At such times, Church would mutter this sentence to comfort himself.

Church had no choice but to do so, just like all the Bordon family members, Church would eventually become a person without a past, with a future shrouded in mystery. The only thing he could grasp was the present moment.

"It’s okay... it’s okay."

Church mechanically moved forward, muttering repetitively, like a wizard chanting a mysterious spell.

From a long time ago, Church had already decided there was nothing to complain about or regret.

Just like his mother, Church was merely following the same path as her... as all the members of the Bordon family.

Becoming a Narrow Space Walker.

Secret Energy·Narrow Space Walking wrapped around Church completely, the very foundation of his existence was being pried away bit by bit, until it separated from this world.

No one could perceive Church’s existence anymore. He became a true ghost, striding forward, effortlessly crossing through layers of defenses, escaping from the Fog Abyss Fortress.

Likewise, with his existence peeled away, the memories in Church’s mind also started to collapse.

Secret Energy·Narrow Space Walking is an exceedingly unique Secret Energy, derived from the Bordon family’s ancient research on the Blessing of Debtors, expressing multiple effects.

When Secret Energy is maintained at the First Stage "Stealth," it merely consumes the Ether, reducing one’s presence, but when Secret Energy proceeds to the Second Stage "Deep Stealth," its peculiarity displays.

Narrow Space Walking presents a crude anti-mimetic effect, the more someone knows Church’s real information, the more they forget his existence, resulting in observers developing cognitive distortions towards Church.

For example, mistaking Church for another object, all influences he imparts are explained by a different, strange logical chain. For instance, if Church kicks over a bottle, observers would only perceive it as being blown over by the wind.

This kind of Secret Energy forced Church to completely hide himself, to prevent his friends from forgetting his existence, which also prevents him from revealing his true self.

The Third Stage of Narrow Space Walking is called "Complete Stripping," a strengthened power over Deep Stealth, allowing Church’s existence to be entirely stripped from the world. This is not just a cognitive distortion, but allowing Church’s material form to reach another dimension and act as a projection in the Material Realm.

The dimension Narrow Space Walkers reach after complete stripping exists between an unknown world and the Material Realm, nowadays referred to by the Scholars’ Hall as... the Ethereal Realm.

In the act of complete stripping, Church can avoid all attacks and influences within the Material Realm. Similarly, his existence would quickly thin out, and his memories would be devoured by Complete Stripping.

To resist this memory loss, Church has recorded numerous diaries to review later. But the emotions and touches experienced are irreplaceable by words.

Church would also read a large number of books periodically, using these memories to fill his mind, hoping to increase his memory volume amidst the memory loss caused by Complete Stripping.

The longer he stays in a state of Complete Stripping, the more Church forgets until he, just like his mother, completely loses himself, lost in the Narrow World.

Morrison’s Chasing Sword continues to hunt Church, and Church has been evading temporarily due to Complete Stripping. He must quickly reach a safe place before he loses all his memories and completely forgets his responsibility to end it all.

Church burst out of the Fog Abyss Fortress, leapt onto the aerial corridor of the Sea of Mist, and canceled the Complete Stripping. His mind was in a haze, seeming to have forgotten many things, but the worst part is, people often cannot remember what they’ve forgotten.

Thankfully, there are some things that won’t be forgotten.

Church raised his signal gun, pulled the trigger, and a bright green flare continued to rise, signaling his safety and evacuation from the battlefield to everyone.

"Then... then what was I supposed to do next?"

Words lingered in Church’s mind, intense headaches made his existence feel worse than death.

The dissipating chains coagulated again, inside the Fog Abyss Fortress, Morrison looked skeptically at the chains extending from the Secret Sword, and dusty memories began to be pried open once more.

Having been severely injured and affected by Complete Stripping, a storm of fragments brewed in Church’s mind, and amidst his confused consciousness, another thought suddenly emerged in his mind.

A selfish and strange thought.

Perhaps it was repeated too many times, and this matter had become ingrained in Church’s instincts, amidst muddled consciousness and fragmented memories, he instinctively did this thing.

Thinking this way, Church once again entered Stealth, the solid chains turned illusory, and his figure sprinted over the corridor towards the Great Rift.