Evolving Classes In The Apocalypse-Chapter 44: It’s Not About Death… It’s About You

The thought bothered me for a bit. Why was someone I didn’t know looking at me like I had wronged him so gruesomely, while at the same time trying to hide it?

’He was probably trying to hide it because Marcel was there.’

I left the thought behind as I entered Ayesha’s quarters.

Ysoriel was sitting in a lotus position on the ground. She opened her eyes the moment I stepped through the entrance, and in one fluid motion folded a package that was wrapped with clothes and glanced back at the Aoki, the little boy who had offered her food earlier. He was still asleep, his small chest rising and falling in the dim light.

Then she brought her gaze back to me, took the package and stood up.

"Let’s go."

I frowned for a moment and then narrowed my eyes the next.

"Go... where?"

"Where else? To Terracotra. And from there we’ll continue to find your mother."

I was silent. I really did not know how to respond to Ysor, or how to break it to her that I wanted her to stay with Marcel. Trusting him would be easy for her, and he was going to provide her with a cure she had sought for so long. This was exactly what she had left Area C for.

She glared at me the next instant, as if she could see the thought forming behind my face.

"Don’t you... dare."

"Ysor, the reason you left Area C was to find a cure and it’s right here with us."

Ysor shook her head and clenched her fist.

"No, no, stupid. You’re missing the point!"

I stared at her, my brow furrowed.

"Cure? Who cares about that? You think I actually believe there might be a cure for that primordial curse? You think it’s going to be that easy?"

I wanted to reply with something, only to find out that I actually had no words.

Ysor was right. Whatever Marcel could do... it was only temporary. Even he had said it. They were still Undefined.

"But... at least you wouldn’t die."

Ysor’s expression darkened in a way I had never seen before. She took a step away from me, her jaw tight, and fixed an indignant glare on me that made my chest hollow out for a second.

When she spoke, her voice came out low and strained, each word forced through clenched teeth.

"If you think that now... at this point of our lives, me deciding to run away from home was about not wanting to die..."

She stopped mid-sentence and pressed her lips together, shaking her head. For a moment she hugged the package against her chest like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Then she walked past me and grazed my shoulder with hers on the way out, hard enough that I felt it.

I stood there.

’What just happened?’

I was sure for one that something had gone wrong. Ysor could be a very difficult one, as often as she was easy. Sometimes I felt like I needed a manual for how to properly deal with her.

I sighed and glanced back at the little boy, still stirring in his sleep. Then I stepped out.

The sky had brightened since I went inside. The sun had almost completely risen, though it was still partially obscured by something in the atmosphere, which dampened its radiance into a dull, hazy glow.

I scanned around for Ysoriel but she was nowhere in sight, as if she had vanished the moment she left the quarters.

Then I saw her marching toward me from behind the corner of the rock, her face set hard. She had come back.

"Let’s go..."

I hesitated.

"Ysoriel... this is..." 𝗳𝚛𝗲𝕖𝚠𝚎𝚋𝗻𝗼𝕧𝗲𝐥.𝚌𝚘𝐦

I stopped myself.

Not because I didn’t know what to say. I did. I had the words lined up, the logical argument about why staying made sense, why Marcel’s help was the rational choice, why she was being difficult for no reason.

But I was looking at Ysor’s face while I thought it, and something in her expression cracked the argument open before it left my mouth.

It made me remember why she ran away from home.

Ysor had accepted her death. Even though she wanted to live so badly, she had accepted it. But what made her run wasn’t the dying. It was because none of them wanted her to live as much as she wanted to live herself. Her family had already started grieving while she was still breathing.

Maybe for her... dying would have been more bearable if she knew her family fought tooth and nail for her. No... knowing Ysoriel, she would’ve gladly died to keep them from having to fight. What she couldn’t bear was the resignation. They all just gave up.

And now here I was, about to do the same thing. Hand her off to Marcel to keep her safe and move on.

’She doesn’t want to be kept safe. She wants to matter.’

That was why she’d chosen to come with me. Not to find a cure or survive.

The realization gripped something in my chest so hard that I couldn’t breathe for a moment. All this time I had been thinking about what was best for her, and not once had I considered that maybe she had already decided that for herself.

"Are you okay?"

I could only stare at her. I felt gratitude filling my expression in a way I couldn’t hide, and I didn’t try to.

"What?" She gave a slightly irritated frown, but there was something guarded behind it now.

"How about we stay and have Marcel help you?"

Ysoriel raised a brow at me.

"No, Axel. I’m absolutely fine... I don’t care if I die. I don’t want to trade a few years of stagnation for having to live at the cost of your own goals. If I’d die, I want to die by your side. At least I hope we’ve found your mother by that time..."

She presented me a small smile. It was the first soft thing she’d given me since I walked into that room.

I walked a step closer to her and pulled her into a hug.

It felt different now, with this body. I could feel the warmth of her properly, every point of contact between us, the way her frame fit against mine. Her chin fell on my shoulder and she was silent, not hugging me back.

"I know about my goal, Ysoriel... we will find my mother. And I know you don’t care about death."

I paused, and let the words come from a place I hadn’t fully opened until now.

"But the problem is... I do. I do not want to lose you. I want to cheat this wretched world every single time if it means I get to be with you. And I will not stop until I make you a Defined. Marcel’s help might not be permanent, but it will buy us time... how about we stay here for a bit and then move later, when I’m stronger and more experienced. Then we find our way to Terracotra."

Ysoriel was still silent.

But I felt her hands come up around my waist, slowly, and her face pressed further into my shoulder.

Her voice came out in a mumble, barely audible.

"I’m... sorry."

I didn’t ask what for. I just held her tighter.