Eyes of destiny-Chapter 31: Helplessness

Still terrified, Edo, shaken by his encounter with the lizard, slowly climbed the long stairs. Every step felt heavier, and the echo of his breathing bounced off the cold, stone walls. When he finally reached the top, he found himself in an empty, dimly lit corridor leading to Adam's office. But before he could take another step, a familiar voice reached his ears.

"What took you so long...? Do you want your arm back or not?" Leni was waiting for him with clear impatience, resting one hand on her hip while holding a bag in the other—the bag that carried his severed arm.

Edo, still drenched in sweat and shaking with fear, lifted his gaze and struggled to force out words, trying to mask his terror with a joke.

"Listen... do something about that damn lizard... If you hadn't shown up, I'd be dead by now..." His voice was weak, and every word trembled under the weight of his recent ordeal.

Leni sighed and looked at him with mild amusement.

" That's just Toru being Toru. He always tests the newbies who show up at the castle. Relax, it was just a joke" she said, flashing a small smile.

But Edo knew better. Maybe Toru had a habit of messing with newcomers, but this time... this time it wasn't a joke. The lizard really wanted to kill him. Edo could feel it—his eye had told him the truth.

He shuddered as a new realization began to form in his mind.

*"I almost died... This wasn't some simulation or a controlled threat I could just brush off. If Leni hadn't shown up, I'd be dead right now... But I learned something important. My survival isn't just based on my own actions. Before Leni arrived, I had a 100% chance of dying. But then... suddenly, it dropped to zero. That means my fate isn't only in my hands—others, even unknowingly, can affect it. That's valuable knowledge... If I use it wisely, I can avoid a lot of bad situations. Maybe I won't even need my left eye's visions... since they always end in death."*

Leni frowned slightly, noticing his distant expression.

– Edo, are you okay? You're pale... and soaked... – Her voice carried concern.

The boy lifted his gaze and tried to keep his face as neutral as possible.

– Really, it's nothing. That lizard just scared the crap out of me, that's all. I'm fine – he replied, forcing his voice to sound steady.

But Leni wasn't convinced. She studied him closely.

" Edo... You're shaking... That's not 'fine.' If something's wrong, you can tell me – her tone was softer now, but firm.

Edo refused to give in.

" No, it's just a habit, really, hahaha, nothing to worry about, everything is - - -

He didn't finish.

A sharp *smack* echoed through the empty corridor as her palm met his cheek. For a moment, silence filled the air.

Leni stared at him, irritation in her eyes... but also concern.

"Snap out of it, Edo... You think you can fool me with that unsteady voice and a body shaking like a damn leaf? What's going on?" "she demanded, her voice stern but warm.

Edo raised a hand to his cheek. It stung, but that pain... that pain grounded him. And then, before he even realized it, the words he had been suppressing came spilling out.

" I'm scared... "he whispered, his voice trembling.

Leni's brows lifted slightly, surprised.

" You're scared...? But -

"I'm scared... I'm fucking scared... I... I'M REALLY FUCKING SCARED!!!" his voice rose into a shout.

She took a step back, startled by the raw emotion bursting from him. Tears glistened in his eyes.

That encounter with the lizard had been a trigger. It had ignited everything he had been suppressing until now.

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" I'm scared... Why is this happening to me, huh?! What the hell did I do to deserve this?!" His voice shook with barely contained pain. "Ever since I got here, all I've done is suffer... I barely escape death over and over again... Do you know what that feels like?!

He clenched his fists.

" Helplessness... Helplessness... THAT FUCKING HELPLESSNESS!! That feeling that you have no control over your own fate! I never complained about my life before... So why is this happening to me?! The only thing waiting for me here is misfortune... Nothing but fucking misfortune... – his voice cracked.

Edo looked at her, his eyes reflecting pain and... a sense of injustice. As if he were looking at someone who had done him wrong.

"And you... Because of you, I suffered the most... Why the hell did you let me go with you, huh?!?!" His voice trembled with emotion, each word carrying accumulated rage and despair.

The boy's scream echoed through the corridor, bouncing off the cold stone walls.

"You knew I was incompetent... So why...? WHY THE FUCK?!"

Leni stood before him, unmoved, her gaze unwavering.

Edo clenched his fists, his breath ragged.

"Your incompetence... Your recklessness... Do you even realize what it led to?!? DO YOU?!??" His voice broke, yet he kept going. "Do you know how much I had to endure, saving your useless ass?! All because of your carelessness... Your approach... FUCKING PATHETIC!!"

"What kind of idiot even gave you the title of court mage?! ... Why the hell do I have to deal with all this... I just want to go home. Leave me the fuck alone!!!"

His voice echoed again.

He took a step back, stumbled, but didn't fall. His breathing was heavy, and his hands trembled.

"You probably don't even realize the state I was in when I saved you from that goddamn forest..." he whispered, his voice carrying something beyond just anger. "Do you even know how much it hurt...?"

"It's your fault... Your fault... Your...... fau... " His voice grew softer, until finally, his legs gave out.

He collapsed to his knees.

His teeth clenched, his gaze locked onto the floor, as if searching for answers to the questions that tormented his soul.

The words he had spoken were like blades. He knew they would wound anyone. And yet... Leni still looked at him the same way.

She said nothing for a long moment.

But then...

"Edo." Her voice was quiet, almost gentle.

The boy lifted his eyes, exhaustion written all over his face.

He didn't expect what she did next.

She crouched in front of him and embraced him.

The warmth of her body shook him more than he expected. He felt something crack inside his heart, as if, through all this tension, he had forgotten something important.

He shut his eyes, feeling relief wash over him—but at the same time... guilt.

"Edo... I'm really grateful you saved me..." she whispered, her breath brushing against his skin. "No matter what you say right now, I know who you really are... Everyone needs to let it out sometimes. You've been through a lot these past few days... You're a good person, Edo."

Her words made his chest tighten painfully. His throat felt dry, and his body began to shake slightly.

- Leni...

- Yes, Edo?

- If I cried right now... would you still see me as a man...?"

Leni didn't hesitate.

- If a man has to cry, it should be in a woman's arms.

His breathing grew shallow.

- Leni... I... I'm sorry...

And then...

The tears he had held back finally escaped.

He didn't stop them. He couldn't.

He cried.

Like never before.