Fated to the Triplet Alphas-Chapter 31: Self Blame

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Chapter 31

~Xade’s POV~

Blood pooled in my mouth from Xander’s punch. I spat it out onto the gravel just as Xander growled, his fists still clenched like he was debating whether to hit me again.

I touched my lip, winced, then gave him a crooked smile. "Yeah," I said hoarsely. "I deserved that."

He didn’t answer. His eyes were still burning, still full of things neither of us wanted to say out loud.

I turned and walked away before he could change his mind. I was not stupid to know that when it came to brute strength, Xander outdid our trio.

By the time I got home, the silence felt too loud. I paced the living room, back and forth like the walls were closing in on me. My head wouldn’t stop replaying it—his punch, Jade’s face, my own stupid words.

I went to my room and shut the door harder than necessary.

My black leather jacket landed on the bed. I unbuckled my gold watch and dropped it on the dresser. Then I rolled up my sleeves, staring at my reflection like I didn’t recognise the man looking back.

My jaw still ached, but my chest ached worse.

The memory came again—what I’d said to Xander, the way I’d said it. The way I’d used that careless, rotten tone like armour.

Before I could stop myself, I lifted my hand and slapped myself hard across the face.

"What are you doing?" Ares’ voice cut through my head, furiously. "Stop it, Xade."

I dragged in a breath, then another, my hands braced on the edge of the dresser. "I messed up."

"You think?" Ares snapped. "That little stunt of yours was uncalled for. If your goal was to make him hit you, congratulations. You succeeded."

"That wasn’t the point entirely," I muttered. "I did it for something else."

Ares scoffed. "You can tell yourself that. But if Jade had heard you talking like that, everything you just built with her would have crumbled. You can’t keep hiding behind that mask."

"I did it because I care," I cut in.

There was a brief, heavy silence.

Then Ares said quietly, "Explain to me how speaking like that about her is supposed to mean you care."

I closed my eyes. "Because I shouldn’t have let myself lose control. I shouldn’t have kissed her like that. I shouldn’t have scared her." My jaw tightened. "If she were anyone else, I wouldn’t have thought twice about following my instincts and fucking her. But not Jade and not that way."

Ares huffed. "No matter how much you pretend to be the heartless one, you still have a soft spot."

"The last thing I need is you pointing that out," I shot back. "You’re the one who keeps pushing me toward her every chance you get and purring like a pet."

"She’s our mate," Ares replied simply with an eyeroll. "That’s not a weakness."

I didn’t answer him. Suddenly, my room felt too small and my thoughts felt too loud.

So many thoughts filled my head. Finally, the words slipped out. "She deserves better."

"Then be better," Ares stated, softer this time.

I laughed under my breath, bitter. "You and I both know we passed that point a long time ago."

I looked at the mirror again. For a second, my eyes flickered—red, then blue—before settling back to their usual hue.

"We can still change," Ares insisted.

"Can we?" My voice dropped. "Even after what we did, killing that innocent girl?"

"She wasn’t innocent," Ares roared. "She played her part. And she paid for it."

My chest tightened. The memory rose anyway. A young woman with wide brown eyes. That unsettling smile on her lips, like she knew something I didn’t. Like she was mocking me even in my head.

I shut Ares out before the images could dig any deeper.

I took a quick shower, letting the cold water bite at my skin, then changed into a pair of shorts and a black fitted singlet. I didn’t look at myself this time.

I headed downstairs toward the gym. If I couldn’t quiet my mind, maybe I could at least exhaust my body.

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~Xander’s POV~

I was still boiling.

Not the explosive kind of rage that made you break things or throw punches—I had already done that. This was the colder kind. The kind that settled deep in your chest and refused to leave.

My fingers moved briskly over the keyboard as I stared at the screen of my laptop, my jaw tight. The image was still there, and painfully so, it had spread farther than we thought on the school’s other forum.

I hadn’t opened it again. I didn’t need to. One glance earlier had been enough to make my blood run hot all over again.

While I was deep in thought, my phone rang beside me on the couch.

I answered immediately. "Report."

"We traced the IP address," the voice on the other end said. "The upload came from a local café near the south district."

I straightened. "And the CCTV?"

"Scanned. The footage narrowed it down. We’re tracking the suspect now. We’ll get a house address soon."

"Good," I said sharply. "I want a proper answer within the hour."

"Yes, sir."

I ended the call and sat back, dragging a hand down my face, forcing myself to breathe. I glanced at the laptop once more, then shut it firmly.

Apex stirred in my head. "You can’t keep fighting this."

I scoffed. "I’m not fighting anything."

"You’re angry," Apex replied calmly. "But he’s still your brother."

"He behaves like scum sometimes," I snapped.

"That’s Xade," Apex voiced in an unbothered way. "You’ve always known that."

"Shouldn’t you be angry too?" I asked, genuinely.

"I am," my wolf admitted. "But not blindly."

Before I could respond, the front door opened.

Xavier stepped inside, his gaze sweeping the room once before settling on me. He didn’t ask any questions and did not need to. One look at my face must have told him everything.

"You two fought over Jade," he stated matter-of-factly.

"I punched him," I corrected.