Flash Marriage: In His Eyes-Chapter 201: Self Loathing and Grief

–Logan–

It’s been days since the ambush.

Jane hasn’t slept in... I don’t even know how long. Maybe she thinks she doesn’t deserve to, after what happened to Kei. But we can’t turn back time. The dead stay dead. The living keep walking.

We were now preparing for Kei’s burial. I sat next to Jane and tapped my shoulder.

"Hmm?" she asked, glancing at me with those bloodshot eyes that looked like they’d cried out every ounce of life.

I tapped my shoulder again. "Go on. Lean here and take a nap."

"I’m fine."

"You’ll faint any minute," I told her. Without waiting for another excuse, I draped an arm around her and gently pushed her head to rest on my shoulder.

In three seconds—or maybe less—her body grew heavier against me.

Wait. Did she actually fall asleep... or faint?

"Jane?" I called, a little panic creeping up my throat. But when I felt the steady rise and fall of her breathing, I exhaled. She’d fainted.

I looked around the crowded burial site—people sobbing, relatives holding onto each other for dear life. I spotted Kei’s nephew standing at a corner, sleepless, hollow. The kid looked like he’d lost not just his uncle but his soul too.

I carefully scooped Jane into my arms and carried her away from the chaos, heading straight to the parking lot. One of the Elite Pawns, Enchong, noticed us and rushed over when I jerked my head toward the car.

He opened the backseat without a word. I laid Jane down, adjusted the cushions under her head.

"Let’s go," I said, my voice firm. "To the Hotel Club."

Enchong nodded, driving off with the kind of care you’d expect from someone who knew what would happen if he didn’t.

I sat in the front seat, looking back at her. She looked fragile. Pale. She’d lost weight—too much weight—for someone who was supposed to be indestructible. No sleep, no food, all work.

The Hotel Club wasn’t far. It was one of my properties—a mix of hotel, bar, and high-end escort service. Yeah, I know how it sounds. But it’s business.

Keiko used to be one of the top hosts there... though, with everything that’s happened, she’s currently locked up somewhere for her own safety—or punishment.

"Boss," Enchong called.

"Yeah?"

"Do you need a doctor?"

"Yes," I said, already fishing my phone from my pocket. "Call the hotel doctor. Tell her to prepare a full check-up."

He sighed. "Never thought I’d see Boss Jane work herself into the ground. It’s been a week, huh?"

"I know," I muttered. "The White Queen will definitely scold me for this."

He chuckled. "That’s an understatement."

Ten minutes later, we arrived. Enchong parked by the VIP section—connected to the private elevator that led straight to the VVIP penthouse suite.

I carried Jane up myself. Kai and Sophia were already there, buried in paperwork.

"Jane?" Sophia stood instantly. Her tone sharp. "What happened?"

"She fainted," I said, keeping my voice calm. "Doctor’s on her way."

I took Jane to her room and gently set her down. I removed her shoes and coat, careful not to wake her, though she was too far gone for that.

"Okay. I’ll take care of her," Sophia said quietly.

I headed to the bathroom, filled a basin with warm water, and handed her a fresh towel.

"Get out," she ordered, already kneeling beside Jane.

I raised my hands in mock surrender and left the room, joining Kai in the living area. He looked up from his laptop, one brow raised.

"You care for her too much," he said with a smirk.

"What can I say? I’ve been promoted to babysitter." I sank into the couch.

"Babysitter, huh?" He leaned back, grinning. "More like a lovesick watchdog. You’ve been hovering over her since Kei died—monitoring, teasing, protecting. Admit it. You’re in love."

He chuckled. "So, have you finally moved on from Laura?"

I looked away. The air felt heavier for a second. Yeah, I loved Laura. More than a sister, less than sanity. But Jane... she was different.

It wasn’t the same kind of love, but I couldn’t name it either. Just—different.

A knock interrupted my thoughts. The doctor had arrived—Doctor White. The same one who operated on Kei. Always composed, always efficient.

"She’s in here," I said, leading her to Jane’s room.

Sophia opened the door. The doctor entered, unpacking her kit and checking Jane’s pulse, eyes, and breathing. She worked fast—set up an IV, added a drip full of nutrients and electrolytes.

If Jane were half-conscious right now, she’d probably have someone’s neck snapped for touching her. But the woman on the bed didn’t move. She looked lifeless—nothing like the assassin I knew.

"She’ll be fine in a few hours," Doctor White said finally. "But when she wakes, she must eat and rest. Strict bedrest for at least five days."

She handed me a beeper. "Call me if anything changes."

"Got it," I said.

Once she left, Sophia folded her arms. "Let’s leave her be." She gently ushered me out of the room. I glanced one last time at Jane before closing the door.

The moment I stepped into the living room, my phone rang. Damon’s Ice Queen.

I sighed and answered. "Hello, Sparrow."

"My Queen?"

"I heard your little cat fainted," Livana said, her tone calm but laced with quiet amusement.

"Yeah," I scratched my nape. "She overdid it again. What do I do with her, huh? She never listens."

"Hmm. Keep her grounded. Don’t let her out. Do whatever you must to make her stop working," she said, her voice like velvet and command blended together.

"Got it," I nodded. Then a thought hit me. "By the way, about Moon—the stray cat you picked up years ago."

"Hmm? What about him?"

"He’s... kind of fond of Jane."

Livana giggled softly, like she already knew where this was going. "Then let her have him. That cat’s been waiting for her anyway."

"Got it," I said, smiling.

"Take care of her, Logan."

"I will," I promised before hanging up.

I turned to Sophia. "Alright, I’m heading out. Watch over Jane. Don’t let her move an inch, don’t let her touch her phone, and definitely don’t let her work. Bedrest. Strictly."

She sighed. "Where are you going?"

"I’m picking up a cat," I grinned, grabbing my keys. "And make sure to prepare a proper meal for our poor girl, yeah?"

I winked, blew her a playful kiss, and left.

–Jane–

I was busy sewing the lacerations that I made on Kei’s body. Yes, it’s my fault. I killed him. I make sure to patch him up well so when his family sees him for one last time, he’ll at least look decent. That’s what he wanted.

I froze when a furry thing rubbed on my calves. I looked down to see the cat, Moon.

"Moon?" I was puzzled. The purring sound was relieving. Before I knew it, I woke up from that very dream that also seemed like my memory.

"Are you awake? Sleeping beauty?"

My eyes felt heavy, and so was my body. I turned my head to Logan by the sofa near the half open full length window.

"Logan?"

I gently sat up because everything hurts. I looked at Moon over my lap who rubbed himself on me. But he wasn’t alone. A calico cat... wait... she looks like my cat.

My eyes watered as I reached her and she meowed loudly. No... they are not the same... but they are almost alike.

"Kin-kin..." I murmured.

"That cat’s name is Sun." Logan said. "They were found just days apart in the same area where Livana found the Moon. She’s a year older than Moon."

I hugged the cat but not too tight. They remind me of my dead cats... the one who died in front of me. My heart felt like it’s been crushed many times as I recalled it on that rainy day.

I didn’t realize that I started sobbing in front of the cats. They curled up to me and from that, I felt content. But still it pains me... I am afraid that I’ll lose them.

Logan handed me a tissue as I thanked him and wiped my tears and my nose.

"Why did you bring them?" I asked him.

"Becuase, Dr. White said that you need to rest. Bedrest to be exact." He pulled out his phone. "I’m calling her."

"There’s no need. I’m fine."

"No." He insisted. "Livana will scold me. Also, Damon will surely scold me too."

I sniffled and tried hard not to cry. I don’t want to cry in front of anyone. He turned on a few lights and I noticed a cat tree that looked like a cat apartment.

"Their food and everything is here. Litterboxes are also self cleaning and automatic. It’s in the toilet. Livana said that you should adopt both."

"R-really?" I asked again to confirm and he nodded with a faint smile.

"Yup."

I couldn’t help but to feel overjoyed. I smiled and patted each of them. A soft knock on the door interrupted us. He went to the door as I wiped my tears quickly. Dr. White smiled at me as she approached me with her leather bag. She opened it and sighed.

"Alright, I’m going to check on you again, Jane. This time, I need you to be that patient who would be honest with whatever you feel."

I chuckled. I did not ever think that I’ll be a patient.

"I’m fine. I just need rest."

"Exactly!" Doctor White snapped. "You won’t be working for days." She sighed. She finally removed the dextrose and gave me a quick check up. Multi vitamins on the side table and Sophia entered with a tray of healthy meals. That smells famishing.

Now, I feel hungry.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about Logan—his actions, his thoughtfulness.

Why would he do this?

Why would he bring the cats that look so much like the ones I lost... the ones that died right before my eyes?

It felt cruel and kind all at once. Like reopening an old wound just to clean it properly. Maybe he thought this would comfort me. Maybe he wanted to remind me that life continues—that something broken could still be mended.

Or maybe... he simply didn’t know how deep the scar went.

Still, watching Moon and Sun curl up beside each other, I couldn’t bring myself to be angry. Their warmth chased away a coldness I hadn’t realized was there.

I brushed my fingers through Moon’s fur and whispered, almost to myself,

"Logan... why are you always like this?"

The question lingered in the air, unanswered, carried off by the soft hum of the evening wind.