Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 214. God

I stared at Henry’s naked upper body in absolute horror. Naturally, I recognized my own handiwork, and naturally, the matching memories found me through the fog. Though I couldn’t grasp the desperation and terror I felt at that time, leaving me with the shitty embarrassment I was feeling in the present, the pictures and my actions appeared clearly in front of my eyes in the form of a third-person perspective.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FU—" I turned around to kick the shelf when Henry quickly grabbed me, holding my mouth shut and pulling me away so I wouldn’t destroy anything.

"Shhh... It doesn’t matter." Being pressed with my back against his chest, I could clearly feel his rapid heartbeat.

"It doesn’t matter what we have done... Calm down, Kenny..."

I only now noticed that I was trembling, the anger fueled by embarrassment making me shake like a leaf, in need of a release.

"No matter what had happened, nothing will change... am I right?" He whispered in my ear, his body heat so prominent that it felt scalding even though I was wearing a shirt, contrary to him.

I moved away, but Henry didn’t give me the chance, imprisoning me with his arms.

"Calm down... Shhhh." He cradled me a bit to the left and right.

"Everything is fine..."

Yeah, nicely said, yet the taste of blood, the arousal, and the delusions from that moment when I nearly did some fucking RAPING on Snapshot Henry weren’t easily forgotten.

Fuck, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I am just utter GARBAGE, no matter in which reincarnation or whatever; I AM SHITTY IN EACH OF MY LIVES!

"Kenny... calm down." The trembling didn’t stop, and Henry turned me around to cup my face.

"I don’t care about the scars; on the contrary, I was overjoyed when I saw them. It was a sign that you were still alive." Intense blue eyes found mine, and I nodded shortly, unable to look into his eyes yet unable to look away as well.

A kiss landed on my forehead, and I froze.

"They are your marks; it’s the sign of a master using his dog. Isn’t that a wonderful gift you have given me?"

"Mhm." I hummed and was again confronted with his eyes.

It’s true; his blood gave me the strength to continue with what I did; hadn’t I used him, I would have surely died.

"I used your blood for power and strength, and I used you to stay sane..." I mumbled.

"I couldn’t imagine a better reason to be used." He chuckled and bumped his forehead against mine, and we were so incredibly close that it could only be topped if we made out directly.

I really liked his eyes because, like mine, they grew more intense the more time passed, and he had already arrived at the inhuman range of eye colors.

Yet, instead of my red ones that screamed of blood and murder, his were so calming. Bluer than the sea could ever be, bluer than the sky could ever become.

"Kenny." Henry’s whisper turned breathless.

"Yeah?" I asked, staring at him, allowing myself to be cleansed by his utter obedience and acceptance.

He grinned, with a delighted chuckle, before licking his lips while his hot breath was as burning as the rest of him.

"Better now?" He whispered.

"Yeah." I wanted to nod, but through the proximity and the fact that he still had his hand buried in my hair, to press me against him, it wasn’t possible.

"Good, good. We should go." Again, he moistened his lips.

"Yeah." We should really go, so back off, you gay fucker. Though I couldn’t bring myself to speak the rest.

"Are you having trouble breathing?" Henry suddenly asked, and I laughed.

"Maybe a little."

"Then I’ll do now what I did the last time; I’ll help you out, okay?" He announced, his lips grazing mine.

’No.’

’Fuck off.’

’Go away.’

’If you dare to touch me, I’ll kill you.’

’I knew you were a damn gay, and I was fucking right!’

’Still, you fucking asshole were sly enough to worm your way in, weren’t you?’

There was so much I could say, but instead, I just smirked.

"Suit yourself."

"Mhm, I will," he hummed hungrily before closing his eyes and placing his lips on mine, opening his mouth along with me for our tongues to meet.

Fuck, I knew I had apparently lost it long ago, but at that moment, it was as clear as day.

We both turned our heads to get more access to each other, and just like last time, I tasted him, but not with the intention of headbutting him the next second.

I can’t really explain why I am doing this, just that I can’t feel myself anymore since coming back, and this damn gay dog and the way he looks at me lets me experience at least a bit of nervousness, restlessness, safety, and, most importantly, warmth again.

Then, when he gives such a lousy reason for a kiss, well, it’s funny and heartbreaking at the same time, leaving me with no other choice.

Aren’t I just shit, through and through?

Using you then and using you now?

Weren’t I and my counterparts the ones who were wrecking their worlds?

Weren’t I and my counterparts the ones going around beating and killing women or turning into monsters for some fucked reason like curiosity?

Weren’t the chances high that the Henrietta of Giant-Kenny’s world had been the first one who became aware because Giant-Kenny made her aware?

Aren’t my counterparts and I just constantly going around to devour? Devour the women we beat and kill, then devour ourselves?

God, I hate each of my counterparts, but I feel like I am finally facing the self-hatred I have had inside me since my mother’s death. 𝘧𝓇𝑒𝑒𝑤ℯ𝑏𝓃𝘰𝑣ℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

Wasn’t everything AGAIN and AGAIN showing and proving that my soul, my whole being, consisted of nothing but ugliness, darkness, and selfishness?

You gay fucker of a dumb dog, don’t you know that it had been me all along who started these countless deaths and that I was the reason for your parents’ deaths as well?

Don’t you know that the power the giant had, from all these countless senseless murders, is inside me now swirling and turning, ready for the moment I snap—not only to devour myself but everyone around me, together with the whole fucking world?

Don’t you know that you’re kissing a monster, you dumb fuck?

Ah, I really love how blind and obedient you are, looking at me as if I were a god, unaware that

maybe...

possibly...

the power inside me is already enough to actually call myself one.