Four Brothers and a Bride-Chapter 97

ASHLEY

I don’t know how I have been feeling ever since Ashton dropped the bomb on me about Nicola being Shay. I wasn’t entirely surprised by the revelation. Yet, it still hurts to confirm my suspicion. It still stings to know how selfish her love is.

I have given her everything once and it was never enough for her. She wrecked me emotionally and that’s suicidal given my traumatic childhood. She defamed me publicly and left me to crawl my way out of a dank pit of misery and self-loathing.

Foolishly, I let her back into my life after years of therapy and self-branding. I blame my desperation to prove to myself that I am worthy of being loved or at least lusted after.

Nicci has been my longest relationship despite our complications. She knows me better than any other woman I have been with. I know she can be selfish but to be so selfish she didn’t mind using my darkest secret against me is just heartbreaking.

I have been avoiding her calls and wondering how to confront her about everything. I don’t know how I want to handle this. Do I officially end our relationship even if it’ll wreck her right now? She did the same to me and I probably shouldn’t care but deep down, I don’t think I can go through with a break up. It’s partly for Nicci and partly for me because I can’t let go of her when I am still unsure of Demi’s heart.

I think about ghosting her but that seems like a weak move. I want to confront her, hear her admit her heartless betrayal to my face but not today. Today, I just want to forget how much my love life sucks and focus on the one thing I don’t have to beg people’s admiration for; my fashion business.

I am currently working from another spare office because mine is being worked on. I’ve got someone getting rid of the secret door I built for Nicci to sneak into my office years back, to avoid the paparazzi. Now, it’s just going to be a wall.

"Mr. Ashley?" Levon calls my attention for the third time.

"Yes?"

"Your phone’s ringing."

I look down to find my phone buzzing loudly on my desk. Why is mom calling? I take the call. "Yes mother?" She continues to rant and go in circles while I massage a brewing headache on my left temple.

"Mhmm, I remember the finance minister’s wife. Lovely lady." I lie so her chitchat can progress. Then the shock hits me. My eyes double like the size of saucers. "Demi is what?" I am already siting up in my chair. Demi is pregnant or rather, could be pregnant?

"I know, right. I was just as shocked and so was Demi. She quickly countered Greta, citing that she isn’t pregnant or she’d know but the thing is Greta is hardly wrong about these things. She has a keen eye for sniffing out a woman in the early stages of her pregnancy. I haven’t been able to suppress my hope so I wanted to ask you if...you know, both of you have ever..."

Ever slept together? That’s what mom is trying to confirm.

"Yes mom. Demi and I have consummated our marriage."

A small gasp of excitement escapes her lips from the other end of the phone.

"Really? And did you...never mind. If you did, there’s a chance Demi could be wrong. She’s confusing work stress with the discomfort that a first trimester brings. Oh Ashley, could you confirm with your wife? If Demi is truly pregnant, we have to take better care of her and the baby, cut back on her working hours and all that stuff. It’s too risky moving on without knowing for sure. Please make her take a test or go see a doctor at our family hospital. Can you do that for me?"

I am too flustered right now. Demi could be carrying my baby? I may be a dad soon? The possibility and the change are both scary and exciting. Scary because Demi might not be ready for this and loathe me for putting her in this position. Then Asher’s prediction will come true and I’ll be forcing a woman who isn’t fully committed to me to have a baby. That would be a different kind of hell.

It is exciting because there’s a slim chance Demi will forgive me and focus on having our baby and preserving our marriage. With Nicci’s betrayal and losing our relationship, I won’t feel so terrible because I am starting my own little family. The fear of being alone or feeling unlovable will be greatly reduced.

"Ash, did you hear me? Will you ask Demi to confirm?"

"Yes. Yes, mom. Don’t worry. I’ll get back to you on that."

When I hang up, Levon eyes my smile with a suspicious air. "Good news?"

"Kind of."

I slip my phone into my pocket and surge to my feet like a new man. No more sulking and staying late at the office to avoid home and the pitiful looks on my brothers’ faces. Nicola can wait. I’ll deal with her later. I need to see my wife right now and know if we have cause to celebrate or a major fight to settle.

"Levon, let’s call it a night."

"Ok." He clears his papers from my desk. "Good night, sir." The moment he leaves, I dial Demi’s phone.

"Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Mom was worried you looked really stressed out. I was thinking maybe I could run you a bath, massage your feet. Do you want a day off or a paid leave from work so you can rest? Just say the word and it’s done. I am leaving work now. What can I get you on my way home?"

"Woah, Ashley, calm down, okay? Mom already called you about her friend’s prediction, didn’t she?"

A small invisible blush creeps into my cheek. "I’m sorry about that. You must have felt really awkward at that moment."

"A bit. I’m not pissed though. I just wish she hadn’t heightened mom’s hopes. I am not pregnant, Ashley."

She can’t be too sure. "But you can’t be too sure. We should probably do a test or something. I’ll get a pregnancy test strip on my way. Cool?"

"Even if I am not sure, you should be. You assured me you pulled out, right? Was that a lie?" An ominous silence ensues. My heart thuds in my chest as Demi awaits my response. "Ashley, you pulled out, didn’t you?"

"Yeah, I certainly did." I hate how feeble I sound. "But sometimes, these things happen. Even condoms aren’t a hundred percent secure." Her silence makes chills run down my back. "Are you still there?" She waits another beat before responding.

"Get the test strips. I’ll be in my room."

I don’t know what to make of that frosty response as I stare at my phone. On the bright side, I got her to agree to do the test. We’ll handle whatever follows after the test results. I grab my keys and head for the door. When I swing it open, Nicola stands on the other side of the door, her hand poised to grab the knob. We stare into each other’s eyes.

"Ashley?"

I can’t. I just can’t do this right now. I brush past her but she grips my elbow.

"Ashley wait, what’s going on? You haven’t been taking my calls or replying my texts. You completely shut me out. Did I do something wrong? Why is there a man blocking off the secret door you made for me in your office? What’s going on???"

I can’t believe she’s still pretending to be clueless. On second thoughts, maybe I should just deal with this right now. I yank my hand free of her and stare daggers at her in the hallway.

"Really? You’re still going to stand here and pretend you don’t know what you’ve done? LOOK ME IN MY FUCKING EYES AND TELL ME YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING TO WARRANT MY HATRED RIGHT NOW." Nicci’s eyes cloud over with tears. "Maybe I should call Cree over and ask her the same thing, see what she says."

"C-Cree?" She stammers.

"I didn’t expect this from you, Nicola. I thought we had something special. I thought you had evolved from a selfish and greedy bitch to a more humane lover. I forgave you after everything you did to ruin me. I got your career back on track and used my influence to speed up your success. I have literally gone over and beyond for you and the first chance you get, you stab me in the back with my deepest secret?"

"Ashley, please, hear me out..." When she tries to take my hands, I move them away and give her a warning look.

"You were there. You saw me go through the worst phases of recovery from a past trauma. You have to be a spun of the devil to use such a devastating experience to have me running back to you. You’re despicable, Nicola. I am not surprised you keep losing people in your life. You are an evil person."

"No, Ashley, please forgive me. I did it for love. You know how much I love you. Demi could never..."

"DON’T YOU DARE MENTION MY WIFE’S NAME WITH YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!"

Her eyes droops with shame and sadness.

"This is who you are, Nicci. You think you did anything out of love? No, you don’t love anyone but yourself! You don’t care about anyone but yourself! You use people for your selfish end. That’s the only reason why you keep people close."

"Please Ash, I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you. Please, give me a chance to make it up to you." Her tears and words only serve to annoy me further. Angrily, I wrench her hands away from my cloth.

"Stay the hell away from me! If you dare to come close to my company or my house, I’ll have you disgraced publicly and thrown out." While she is still sobbing and begging, I leave her and walk away.

I thought that would feel liberating but instead, I just feel hollow inside. Hearing her indirect admission hurt more than I care to admit. Why do I keep living in denial? The truth is always staring me in the face but I continually choose to ignore it.

I have always known Nicci’s flaws but I keep hoping she’d spare me from her selfish inclinations. The same goes for Demi. It’s the worst kind of delusion to expect her to completely forget Ashton and swerve towards me with an affection that rivals the one she has for him.

I distract myself with other thoughts as I arrive home after buying the test strips. My anxiety goes through the roof now. What if Demi is indeed pregnant? How will she feel? What will father and my brothers say? Will Demi want to keep the baby?

What if she isn’t pregnant? How will mother feel? Will Demi be willing to let me close to her again after a pregnancy scare? These thoughts flood my mind as I make my way into the mansion.

Mother hustles towards me from the dining table where she’s supervising the maids setting up dinner.

"Ashley?"

"Yes, mother. I am home." I hug her briefly and she caresses my face.

"You look pale. Is everything okay? Did you and Demi talk? What did she say?"

"She believes she isn’t pregnant but agreed to take a test." Mom’s face breaks into a smile. "Mom, lower your expectations, okay? I don’t want Demi to feel any kind of pressure from your end. There’s a chance the test might be negative too, remember that. I want you to be prepared for that. You can’t go around looking dejected if it turns out to be negative. Demi won’t like it."

"I won’t, okay. I am just hopeful. If you’re truly going to be a dad, you know what that means. No more sneaky links. The contract will have to be revisited. There’s a lot of changes to be made, conversations to be had and preparations to do. A kid is no joke, Ashley."

I can’t believe mom is already in that headspace. She already thought so far ahead.

"What kid?" Father asks, stepping out of his study. There’s a conspicuous frown on his face. "What are you two talking about?" I grab mom’s hand when she whirls to tell him the truth but she ignores me.

"Ashley is a married man. Is it unnatural for him to want to start a family?"

Father’s eyes wheel towards me, a confused look on his face. "You’re having a baby with Demi?"

"I’m not certain." I quickly clarify. "She might not be pregnant."

"Might?" Father repeats coldly. He turns to mother. "Did you bring that pauper here to bear my grandkids? That was not part of the agreement! How could you put such ideas in his head? Demi was clearly a mistake we planned to rectify in a few months’ time. Procreation was never part of the plan."

"Well, plans change, Brett. Sometimes, the universe has bigger plans for us."

"The universe didn’t sleep with Demi unprotected; your son did so spare me that universe crap." He fumes.

"BRETT." Mom snarls at him.

"I’m not pregnant!"

We all turn to find Demi atop the stairs in a floor length dress. Her hair cascades messily down her shoulders. Slowly, she descends the stairs and comes to stand next to mother.

"Greta was mistaken. I’m not pregnant, mother. Father is right. Procreation isn’t part of the contract I signed so please, stop having these dreams. You’ll only be hurt when they don’t come true."

"I’m a mother, Demi. It’s next to impossible for me to not want my son’s happiness," She turns to shoot me a warm smile. "Ashley wants kids even though he’s too nice to admit it. He’s very considerate of your feelings. I know you two have a contract but that doesn’t stop you from altering it if you so please. You only have to want a life with Ashley, the same long-term commitment he silently pines for with you and the contract can be rescinded."

"I don’t think so, Barbara."

"It’s up to them, Brett." Mom counters father. "Let the kids make their own decisions for once."

"I could say the same for you. Let Ashley think for himself instead of foisting your silent wishes on him. He’s a free-spirited young man, a free bird by nature. He’s the last of our sons to crave marital commitment. Let him live a little and when he’s ready to settle down with a worthy woman, we’ll be here to celebrate that too."

"Father please, Demi is standing right here." I caution him. Demi says nothing.

"I’m not blind, Ash." Father replies.

I hate that everyone is fighting because of me. "That’s enough now. No one will say anything more about my marriage. Whatever decision has to be made will be done by Demi and I." I edge close to my wife. "I’m sorry you had to hear all of that. Please don’t take it personally."

"It’s fine." She accepts the hand I hold out for her and follow me up the stairs while my parents watch, mother with a warm smile and father with disdain.

I sit on Demi’s bird and wait with bated breath as she goes into her bathroom to pee on the sticks. I got three! My hands are clammy with sweat.

Right now, I don’t know if I want the result to be positive or negative. Just the idea of her being pregnant is already making my parents argue. I don’t know how to feel right now. When she comes out holding the sticks, I slowly rise.

"What does it say?" I ask, taking them from her with shaky hands. My eyes alight on the single line. Negative. I check the next two. It’s the same thing. The sadness that overwhelms me confirms my anticipation for a positive result.

"I told you." Demi utters.

"Yeah, I had doubts too because I pulled out as I told you. This was just to satisfy mom’s curiosity." I lie. Demi continues to watch me with curious eyes.

"Are you sad? You don’t look relieved."

"I am relieved. Did you see the ruckus downstairs? I didn’t think the idea of you being pregnant was going to cause such differences."

"That’s why we should stick to the contract, Ashley. Every time we try to deviate from it, it never bodes well for us."

What is she trying to say right now? "Stick to the contract? Are you indirectly asking me to stay the heck away from your bed?" My tone spikes up an octave. "Is that what you’re trying to say?"

To my surprise, Demi hardly flinches. She continues to stand with her hands firmly planted on her waist.

"I’m a mistake, remember? One to be rectified in a couple of months."

"Demi..."

"No, I don’t feel bad at all when someone is merely stating a fact. Ash, don’t delude yourself. This was never meant to be forever. Your father is right. One day, you’ll find a worthy woman to do life with, one your entire family will approve of. My path will lead somewhere different too. Maybe I’d find love again somewhere far from Danvarr. There’s no reason to feel sad about it."

I dump the test strips on the floor. How convenient. "Everyone around here seems to know what’s best for me except me, right? Do I get a chance to speak for myself? Is anyone ready to hear what Ashley has to say about his plans for the future or whom he wants to spend it with?" I belt out a short laugh. "You’re not relieved that the result is negative. I bet you’re happy. You wouldn’t even let me into your bed until you were drunk and even while we did it, you kept calling me Ashton." I watch her eyes boggle with shock.

"Just admit it, Demi. You would probably have prayed for a positive result if you had indeed slept with my brother."

"Ashley, don’t start with this again."

"What? Am I wrong? Do you really mean to give me a chance? Then why won’t you let me touch you again after that one time."

"You know why."

"No, that condom excuse is stale. What’s your excuse now?" I ask, edging close to her. "I want you, Demi. It’s you I want to do life with, have kids with so yes, I am a little sad that the result is negative. Does that change anything for you?"

Her eyes darken. "Was this what you were hoping for when you nutted inside me? I knew you were lying about pulling out. See? This is why I can’t trust you, Ashley. Call it whatever you want but there will always be this friction between us. You will always torment me with my feelings for Ashton and I will never believe you can let it go and genuinely try to be friends again. I do feel relieved that I am not pregnant. I wouldn’t want to have a baby with an insecure man like yourself. You need to fix that so you don’t keep blaming everyone but yourself for every inconvenience in your life."

I shake my head. "Good night, Demi." With a look of disappointment, I walk out of her room.

Outside, my anger surges. I fling my jacket in the hallway and sprint down the stairs, making a beeline for the door. My parents are still conversing in the living room. Mom’s head rears up at the sight of me but I don’t break my stride to answer the questions in her eyes.

"She’s not pregnant!" I put her out of her misery, still walking to the door. I bet her face crumples with disappointment.

"Where are you off to?" Father calls out.

"TO BE A FREE BIRD." Before I step through the door, I hear father chuckle satisfactorily.

***

Last night was mostly a blur. I remember drinking and ending up on Nicola’s doorstep. I woke up in her bed and spent most of the day with her. I haven’t forgiven her but she was eager to please me and make it up to me. I stayed because I felt wanted. When I made it home this afternoon, Demi didn’t say a word to me. I’ve been giving her the silent treatment till I can wrap my head around her words last night.

Mom has been preparing a special lunch. There’s an extra plate set on the dining table.

"What’s the occasion?" I ask when we all settle down for lunch. My brothers are just as curious.

"We are having a guest over. I need you boys to be in your best behavior. That’s a clear warning." Father hammers, his eyes darting from one brother to another.

At the sound of the doorbell, a maid scoots to answer the door. We all turn to watch as the guest enters with a meek bow.

"I hope I am not late." Josh echoes with a patronizing smile. How the hell is he in our house right now?

I turn to father, irate. My brothers all surge to their feet.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." Ashton and Asher respond in unison. I tear my eyes away from my angry brothers to stare at father’s firm face, mother’s confused one and Demi.

Demi’s expression makes me arch a brow. She is smiling malevolently.