From CEO to Concubine-Chapter 139: A ’Pleasant’ Surprise
The grubby piece of parchment slipped from Yan Zheyun’s listless fingers and back onto the mahogany top of his study desk. He allowed himself a moment of weakness as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose and remind himself for the nth time that if he could drag Lixin kicking and screaming through high school physics, he could conquer anything.
But...
His eyes drifted back to the black splotchy writing that was sloppy even for a ten-year-old, let alone one that had been raised rigorously as a prince and apparently the secret heir apparent. Looking back at copies of Liu An’s previous work, which, while containing the immature views of a young child was at least done conscientiously, this was a serious setback.
He sighed. After reporting his findings back to Liu Yao, a bloodbath had happened at Tang Yan Palace, just out of sight of the young prince’s innocent eyes. Liu Yao was deadly efficient as always and before Yan Zheyun knew it, Mingyue had been placed in charge of Liu An’s care. She must have been told by Liu Yao to follow Yan Zheyun’s every instruction to the letter because he now had free rein in the running of the place. As such, for the past couple of days, Yan Zheyun had been religiously visiting Liu An in the afternoons to ensure that he was settling back into his previous routine, the one Liu Yao had established for him before the emperor had become too busy to drop by daily.
As for the little prince’s classes...humanities had never been Yan Zheyun’s strong suit and after his university entrance exams, he had put ancient philosophy, history, and literature far behind him in favour of computer science and business management. Yan Zheyun was more than happy to leave the actual teaching of these imperial lessons to the tutors. What he could do to contribute was check in on the boy regularly and try to instil discipline back in him patiently but firmly.
A bit of play was still necessary though, in Yan Zheyun’s opinion. That and a means of exposing the sheltered little royal to the realities of life whilst still protecting him from harm. The model of childhood used to raise the princes and princesses of the inner palace focused on segregating them from the common populace both as a reflection of their status and to guarantee their safety. But Yan Zheyun didn’t believe that this was ideal for shaping the future leader of the country. Scumbag 2 was proof enough of this; the fourth prince might try his best to appear humble before the civilians to try and win their support but to Yan Zheyun, he reeked of an innate sense of superiority.
An emperor like that would never place his people before himself. Yan Zheyun liked to think that he understood Liu Yao at least well enough to know that he would be disappointed in such a successor.
He had some ideas but they were...progressive. He would have to run them by Liu Yao cautiously because there were some decisions that he knew better than to make, even though for all intents and purposes, Liu Yao seemed very happy to let him.
"Little Master, Gracious Consort Yao and Lord Hua are on their way over to see you." Xiao De walked over and quickly checked Yan Zheyun’s tea cup. "Please don’t drink this anymore, it’s already cold. Xiao De will change it for you."
"It’s fine." Once in a while, Yan Zheyun found himself missing bubble tea, a feat that he never once considered possible. Cold tea was, sadly enough, the closest thing to it; he had yet to find a way to tell Xiao De he wanted to add cow’s milk to it in a way that wouldn’t garner him a strange look.
"You’ll get an upset stomach, Little Master."
Yan Zheyun elected not to listen to good advice. "The tailor is also coming over this afternoon," he said, changing the subject as he pulled the tea cup closer to himself in a sneaky bid to stop Xiao De from taking it away. He pretended he didn’t see Xiao De’s fond exasperation, clearing his throat lightly before adding, "I need you to go over to the ninth prince’s palace to check that his lunch was balanced with rice, a selection of fish and meats, and vegetables." He didn’t think he would get very far if he tried to talk about what little knowledge he had on nutritional breakdown because he didn’t even know where to begin to explain stuff like carbohydrates or vitamins. But Liu An was a growing child and to the best of his ability, Yan Zheyun was going to try and keep him healthy.
"Yes, Little Master. Shall I tell His Little Highness that you’ll be along shortly despite being late?"
The sound of laughter and quiet chatter outside Yan Zheyun’s study grew nearer. He nodded to Xiao De before rising to his feet and standing to welcome his guests.
When Gracious Consort Yao swept in, Hua Zhixuan in tow, he was quick to wave Yan Zheyun back into his seat. They had long since put formalities behind them when out of the public eye–or rather, the formalities were going in the reverse direction.
"This subject greets Yue Langjun," Gracious Consort Yao drawled as he ushered Hua Zhixuan in before him before shutting the door in the face of any would-be curious onlookers.
"This concubine pays his respects to Gracious Consort Yao," was Yan Zheyun’s dry reply. "To what do I owe the honour of your presence?" There was something about Gracious Consort Yao that brought out the snippiest side of him; mostly because Yan Zheyun couldn’t shake off the irritating feeling that his big white cabbage, Hua Zhixuan, had been stolen away by a very flamboyantly dressed pig. The worst part was, he had a sneaking suspicion that Hua Zhixuan was pretty blind to all the suspicious aspects of Gracious Consort Yao’s behaviour. Perhaps he might have an inkling that Gracious Consort Yao was more than what he seemed, actively involved in politicking whereas the concubines of the inner palace were supposed to look pretty and mind their own business.
But Captain Yao Siya, Yan Zheyun was willing to wager, was still a secret.
Hua Zhixuan gave him a happy little wave before striding over to the shelves near the divan, eager as ever to peruse any and every book collection he could get his hands on. He didn’t manage to get too far before Gracious Consort Yao casually attached himself back on, an arm snaking beneath Hua Zhixuan’s arm to wrap around his waist.
...they certainly weren’t trying to hide anything anymore.
"This subject brings good news for Yue Langjun," continued Gracious Consort Yao, insistent as always on calling Yan Zheyun by title precisely because he’d guessed exactly how cringy Yan Zheyun found it. "You would be pleased to know that Left Prime Minister Zhao has been looking at some land on the outskirts of the capital and there has been word recently that his wife has been making the rounds amidst noble households renowned for their cultured, refined daughters."
Hua Zhixuan’s back straightened almost imperceptibly. Yan Zheyun pretended not to notice the little eaves he was dropping.
Although there was a danger of creating a new brand of elitism by introducing education to women of the aristocracy, they had to start somewhere. The resistance Liu Yao was going to meet, not just from his court but from the masses who had never known a life where women had a role outside of the household, meant that they needed a bit of a maybe-not-so-honest bait-and-switch tactic; sell the nobles the idea that they could accumulate more political power if the women of their families attended court too as officials and ministers. But in reality, the payout would be that all women regardless of status would have a shot at education if they wished.
And to really make this fair, then everyone, regardless of status or gender, should have access. Male or female, beautiful or ugly, able-bodied or disabled (1), married or single, they should all have a chance to prove themselves capable of assisting the emperor in governance.
He was being idealistic. But anyway. Success didn’t happen overnight.
"That is good news indeed," Yan Zheyun murmured. Talented Lady Zhao was as efficacious as he’d hoped she would be and no doubt she had played a huge part in convincing her father to hop onboard this madness. Perfect. He reached over to a stack of parchment to draw out a rolled-up scroll with a rough draft of proposals for mass education that he had yet to put forward to Liu Yao. He didn’t ask Gracious Consort Yao why he was invested enough in this particular project that he found it warranted to let Yan Zheyun know the information the brocade guard–or maybe some other department working directly for the emperor, Yan Zheyun wasn’t sure–had fished out.
He glanced thoughtfully over at Hua Zhixuan, who was already engrossed in an obscure text on agriculture that Yan Zheyun had never touched. He was personally invested in his friend too, wanted him back out there and fulfilling his dreams as soon as possible. But before Operation: Learned Ladies finally took off and served as a suitable distraction, Liu Yao wasn’t going to be able to let his educated concubines loose on his morning court yet.
...Hua Zhixuan...could start helping his liege out already though. Yan Zheyun’s eyes crinkled, a small glimmer of sly glee flashing in their depths too quickly for anyone else to notice. He’d heard all about Hua Zhixuan’s comical retelling of his fateful meeting with the ninth prince.
How serendipitous. It was as though Hua Zhixuan was meant to be tiny Liu An’s babysitter–ah, no, home tutor instead.
He would have to run it by Liu Yao first but he had good reason to think there would be no problems. After all, what chairman of a company would refuse the proper allocation of his firm’s resources? Yan Zheyun was just helping him maximise the productivity of his employees, that was all.
——————————
"Brother Yan, His Majesty has outdone himself."
Yan Zheyun had to agree with Hua Zhixuan’s admiring comment. After a detailed conversation with Gracious Consort Yao about the nitty gritty of Right Prime Minister Zhao’s recent actions, the tailor from the Department of Garments had finally arrived. The procession of eunuchs carrying bits and bobs upon trays lined with red silk cushions was longer than Yan Zheyun had expected and the robe that Liu Yao had commissioned for his coming-of-age ceremony was more breathtaking.
"Congratulations, Imperial Concubine Yue Langjun," the eunuch at the head of the procession said. He was all smiles. "His Majesty had been involved in most stages of the making of Langjun’s robes."
Yan Zheyun ran a finger down the robe. It was the colour of the sky and made of a light, breathable silk that would make wearing it in the current weather bearable. The cloud pattern motif that curled about the hem and collar was embroidered in white thread, simple but elegant. It was free of fuss, very much in accordance with Yan Zheyun’s style, and knowing that Liu Yao had been the one to choose this for him made a warm feeling bloom in his heart.
"Thank you," he said quietly but sincerely. "This concubine is very happy."
"If Langjun would please try the robes out and this servant will note down any alternations we might have to make."
Gracious Consort Yao had already excused himself after the arrival of the Department of Garments. Although Yan Zheyun didn’t think there was anything wrong with changing in front of another man–coming from a generation where men paraded around shirtless at the beach and school gym showers were often communal for boys–Gracious Consort Yao clearly viewed himself more as a subject than a friend and had hightailed it out of Yan Zheyun’s chambers.
Hua Zhixuan didn’t seem to have the same qualms. "Quick, Brother Yan, try it!" he said excitedly. He always did enjoy watching Yan Zheyun choose robes for formal events.
A couple of minutes later or however long it took for Hua Zhixuan to nurse his cup of tea, Yan Zheyun walked out from behind the privacy of his folding screens and Hua Zhixuan sucked in a deep breath.
No matter how often he’d seen it in the eyes of others, the blatant admiration for the host body’s looks never failed to embarrass Yan Zheyun. It was especially true when genuine appreciation came from those close to him; strangers were easier to ignore but Hua Zhixuan’s unfailing praises were almost as good at getting him flustered as the way Liu Yao’s gaze turned hungry whenever Yan Zheyun walked back into their bedroom after a long hot bath, dressed in nothing but thin white sleep robes.
Not quite in the same way though.
"There was once a beauty from the North," Hua Zhixuan said with a languid sigh.
Yan Zheyun felt a frisson of surprise. That was a famous line from a poem composed by a court musician during the Han Dynasty for Emperor Wu of Han, advertising his sister’s nonpareil looks. In it, the court musician described how her beauty was so moving that with one look, she could fell a city. With a second, she could ruin a kingdom. Naturally, this piqued the powerful emperor’s interest and she soon joined the endless ranks of his harem.
...thank goodness he’d never thought about plagiarising any original works from his world to show off his smarts. He’d never seen any records of the Han Dynasty in the imperial library before and yet this poem existed. And he recalled Liu Yao making the occasional reference to some historical figures but also displaying ignorance of others.
Out loud, he laughed, and replied with a hint of cheekiness, "I come from the South."
This was not true...not for Yan Yun at least but he didn’t think Hua Zhixuan would know that.
Sure enough, Hua Zhixuan didn’t seem to think his reply strange. He was too distracted by the finery of the robes.
"Is the fit pleasing to Yue Langjun?" The eunuch on the sidelines asked with a polite bow.
Yan Zheyun lifted his sleeves and examined the fall of the fabric onto the ground. It was a beautiful piece, to be sure, but not the most convenient. "...is it perhaps a little bit too long?"
"That’s the fashion of the times but if Langjun would prefer it to be shortened..."
Before Yan Zheyun could reply, a young door eunuch came scuttling in to announce the arrival of Head Eunuch Cao. Yan Zheyun valiantly ignored the knowing look Hua Zhixuan shot his way as Head Eunuch Cao walked over and presented him with an extravagant bow. The ornate lacquered box that he carried in his hands had a pair of goldfish swimming between the mother-of-pearl roots of lotus blossoms. For a split second there, Yan Zheyun thought that perhaps Liu Yao and he had been putting off actual penetrative sex for too long; he swore he was starting to see innuendo everywhere. Of the subtle, ancient variety.
But that couldn’t be, right?
The beam that Head Eunuch Cao gave him was unnerving. "This old servant pays his respects to Imperial Concubine Yue," he said, eyeing Yan Zheyun with so much amusement that Yan Zheyun found himself struggling to remain unfazed. Why did he have an odd feeling about this visit?
"What can this concubine do for Head Eunuch Cao today?" he replied evenly. "Is His Majesty well?"
"In response to Yue Langjun," Head Eunuch Cao reassured, "His Majesty is as well as can be. He bids this old servant present Yue Langjun with a gift."
Yan Zheyun blinked. What gift could Liu Yao possibly give to him that could not be handed over personally at night? He reached out to accept the box, curiosity urging him to reach for the lid as soon as it was in his arms but a soft cough from Head Eunuch Cao stopped him.
"Ah, it would be best if His Majesty’s well-wishes were appreciated in private, Imperial Concubine Yue."
...
That curiosity was fleeting indeed. Yan Zheyun wasn’t sure he wanted to know anymore.
"Please help this concubine thank His Majesty," Yan Zheyun said, feeling conflicted. On one hand, he had to pay ample lip service to Liu Yao’s status, at least in front of others. On the other hand...knowing what Liu Yao was capable of, he was pretty sure Head Eunuch Cao’s warning was warranted.
The box in his hands suddenly felt like it was ticking. Wanting to set it aside somewhere where no one else could sneak a peek into its questionable contents, Yan Zheyun strode towards the inner quarters leading towards his bedchambers—
—or he tried to.
As he turned around, his left foot caught on the trail of excess fabric from the goddamned ’trendy’ robe hem and his right foot spontaneously thought it might be a good idea to give his left foot a nice hard kick for good measure. He wobbled and caught his balance on a frantic Xiao De who tried his best to come to the rescue, only to watch in dismay as the lacquer box slid out of his little master’s fingers to fall to the floor and break open.
Jade.
Long green jade.
Long green pieces of jade in ascending sizes.
Long green pieces of jade in ascending sizes shaped too suspiciously like penises.
Yan Zheyun felt something in his brain implode on itself.
He stared gobsmacked as one—this biggest one, the one closest to Liu Yao’s size, his mind traitorously added—rolled across the carpet to come to a halt at Hua Zhixuan’s shoe.
He watched as that shoe inched away from it, its owner’s eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.
"Ahah, oh dear." Head Eunuch Cao’s apologetic voice shattered the awkward silence. "As this old servant said...it would have been better to open that in private."
