Gates of Penance-Chapter 32: Fortress

The two enlightened didn’t talk much after that, they simply admired the scenery along the journey. Nacht was much the same.

The two sinners appeared and acted like how any decent human being would act. Nacht had to remind himself that they were killers. They had violently taken someone’s life in order to get to this point. That meant that they weren’t and could never be considered good people.

Nacht frowned.

’Now I am the same as them.’

Nacht despised them for what they did, but above all, he despised himself, because now he had become them.

However, he had his reasons for what he did. No doubt the other sinners did as well but they couldn’t compare to what he hoped to achieve. That made his sins slightly less heavy.

[Except you will never achieve anything, everything you do will be for nothing, so that makes you far worse than them.]

Nacht gritted his teeth at the voice that had entered his head. It was his voice, but it didn’t belong to him.

Along the journey, he had figured out that the apparition could speak directly to his mind and didn’t need to show itself. Sometimes it would show, sometimes it went completely silent and disappeared for long periods of time, but whenever Nacht was feeling particularly guilty or regretful, the punishment would make sure to kick him when he was down.

He had also learned more about his spectral projection ability. Although it did its best to mimic him having a body, he still lacked a physical human body. He could still feel and hear things, but everything felt dull and fabricated, even his emotions, which gave off the feeling of living in a dream or an illusion.

The only physical feeling that felt real was the sensation of being cold which he had been feeling ever since he left penance. The weather around him was warm but that only made him feel both warm and cold at the same time with one sensation feeling real and the other fabricated.

Nacht felt strange. He felt inhuman.

His punishment and being in his specter form amplified these oddities making him feel even more disconnected from what he once was.

This made him extremely worried. Like most humans, Nacht wanted to hold onto his own humanity. His goal was tied to his humanity, so losing one meant losing the other.

This meant that if he lost what it meant to be human, then he would no longer see the purpose of his mission and thus fail to achieve it.

It would mean that this was all for nothing. All of his wretched sins were for nothing.

Nacht began to feel his mind spiraling.

[Just accept it. you’re a monster now, even more than the people you despise so much. You may even be as much of a monster as those hideous abstracts.]

Nacht dug his fingers into his eye socket causing a sensation that felt a lot like pain.

’Even if I am not a human—which I am, I will just have to find a way to get my body back, then I will be a human again, and no one can say otherwise.’

Amidst making future plans to do something that may very well be impossible, he had already repeated to himself a dozen times that he is still human, however he found the best method—like usual—was to avoid these thoughts entirely.

Shaking his head, Nacht brought his thoughts back to reality.

Now that he thought about it, the two enlightened looked to be only a few years older than himself.

’I knew humanity was getting desperate, but not this desperate.’

It seemed that the enlightened clans had deemed it necessary to send youths as young as himself to enter penance.

’Things must really be getting bad.’

In contrast to humanity’s dire predicament, Nacht was greatly enjoying the silent walk, even if it was with company he didn’t particularly get along with.

Armon turned his head back to Nacht.

"How did the first gate treat you, I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle."

Nacht shrugged.

"It almost killed me."

Armon turned his gaze back to the front.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes."

Mirad spoke in a faintly excited tone.

’We’re here.’

Nacht drew his gaze from the opulent forest to the supposed camp Mirad had talked about. However, instead of a camp the place looked more like a fortress. Large stone walls surrounded the encampment and a tall spire that could be seen from far away towered above the stronghold.

Nacht had never seen such a place before although the large stone walls were a familiar touch. It was a strong contrast to the beautiful scenery of their surroundings but at least it seemed safe.

They made their way towards the stronghold’s main gate where two more sinners were stationed, each equipped with weapons and armour.

They looked towards Armon and Mirad before turning their gaze towards him.

Armon spoke first.

"He’s with us, open the gate."

One of the guards raised her brow.

"We have never seen him before, maybe we should—"

Armon spoke again, except more forcefully this time.

"I said he’s with us."

The guard looked at Armon questioningly before she and the other guard reluctantly opened the gate. Nacht hesitantly followed a couple steps behind the two enlightened into the stronghold.

He knew that he could escape anytime he wanted, his abilities were especially adept for such a scenario. Still, walking into an unknown place always gave him pause.

With a quick glance around, he saw many sinners all around the same age as Armon and Mirad wandering about and doing their own tasks.

It was odd seeing so many sinners around the same age in one place, and under usual circumstances, it would be impossible. However, Nacht was already putting the puzzle pieces together.

’They’re trapped.’

This was the only circumstance Nacht could think of for the current predicament. The voice had dropped him off here, so why couldn’t it drop off all of these enlightened sinners as well?