Gun of Ashes-Chapter 505 - 100: The Outside World

Next, Lorenzo couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief; perhaps he had been too wary. There were no enemy infiltrators, just Hig, who hadn’t gone to bed yet.

It was just an ordinary night, not one engulfed by Demons.

Tossing his weapon casually onto the bed, Lorenzo walked out.

"What are you doing?"

Lorenzo looked at Hig. As he drew closer, Hig’s face became clear in the dim light. Lorenzo keenly noticed something different—Hig’s eyes were slightly red, as if he had just cried.

That’s not good... 𝘧𝓇ℯ𝑒𝓌𝑒𝑏𝓃𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭.𝒸ℴ𝓂

When it comes to emotions, Lorenzo was often at a loss with his own, let alone helping someone else.

But seeing Hig like this, Lorenzo felt a bit happy instead. Hig was always a cold and silent guy, not good at interacting with people, always liking to stay indoors alone. At times, Lorenzo even thought he’d lost his human emotions, but seeing him like this now, with sorrow and joy, was heartening—he was still human.

"Nothing, just wanted to come out and watch the rain."

Hig said, moving a chair, then opening the door to let the cold wind rush in. He sat at the doorway, watching the mist rising from the street, and the splashing water.

Countless raindrops pelted the ground, their whiteness splashing like a frothing school of fish.

"Are you sad?"

Lorenzo asked, standing by the door, watching the misty rain with Hig.

Perhaps while he was asleep, Mrs. Van Rudd had returned and talked to Hig about retirement? After all, Hig had spent most of his life here, this place documented his growth, and even the coldest person would find it hard to leave, right?

"No, just a bit homesick," Hig said.

"Hmm? What’s there to miss? Aren’t you home now...?"

As soon as Lorenzo finished speaking, he realized his mistake. Perhaps Hig had lived here for so long that he often forgot Hig wasn’t originally from Old Dunling. He vaguely remembered Hig saying he came from a small coastal town.

"Sorry," Lorenzo said.

Hig shook his head and said,

"It’s okay. Actually, I don’t really remember either. I have very vague memories of that place. Because it was by the sea, storms came often, and during those times, the whole world felt like Old Dunling now—endless water falling from the sky, washing everything, shrouding all in the rain."

"Is that so? You rarely mention it," Lorenzo asked, "Is it because of bad memories you don’t want to recall?"

"No, just simply can’t remember," Hig said.

"It was a very isolated small town, with only a single railway leading to the outside world, but trains rarely passed through, and the fares were expensive.

Initially, everyone didn’t care much about this new thing; a blacksmith’s son was still a blacksmith, a fisherman’s son was still a fisherman. That’s how everyone lived rigidly until one day, an unruly fellow appeared, catching a ride on the passing train, leaving with it, departing that enclosed little town."

Hig spoke, a story from deep within his memory, but it had been so long ago that even he couldn’t remember his true hometown.

"At first, no one cared, but more and more young people caught rides on trains, or paid the steep prices to explore the outside world. None of them returned, almost as if they’d vanished. But then someone said they went to Old Dunling.

Old Dunling, the capital of Ingwig, a place of beauty and splendor, filled with riches. Compared to it, the town of their home was like Hell. Then the adults began to fear, as these kids left and never returned, the young dwindled in the town, so they raised iron nets, blocking all outside news."

Hig turned his head to look at Lorenzo, rare to see the slightly introverted fellow being this talkative.

"That’s the environment I was born into."

"But you eventually came to Old Dunling. You’re an unruly one, too," Lorenzo said.

A hint of a smile appeared on Hig’s face, and he continued.

"I guess so. No matter how the adults repressed us, children would gather, treating the outside world like a legend. Among us, an adulthood rite came about: to prove one had grown up, one had to jump the fences past the adults’ watch, catch a train to leave, proving one was an adult.

I often watched enviously as those kids escaped, while the adults chased fruitlessly behind them, and they cheered in the wind on the trains."

"Seems like everyone’s childhood is the same," Lorenzo couldn’t help but say.

"When I was in Florence, it was the same. Kids sat on the banks of the Tiber River, yearning for Old Dunling, while the nobles in the city spoke only of its splendor, willing to squander all their wealth to live there.

We’d say back then, if only we could go to Old Dunling, the trash cans on the streets there surely held drumsticks, unlike the hard bread in the bins in Florence."

Lorenzo laughed as he spoke, children’s fantasies are always so naive, with laughable limitations.

"In the end, we all made it to Old Dunling, didn’t we?"

Hig gazed at the rain of Old Dunling, here in this city that had captured their imaginations.

"But Old Dunling isn’t all good, Lorenzo. I almost died here. It’s a place where chaos and prosperity coexist. Without Mrs. Van Rudd, I might’ve perished on the streets long ago,"

Hig said.

"I like this city, but I’m not suited for it. It took me many years to realize that those kids didn’t want to stay away but couldn’t return. You’re the same, right? Lorenzo, you can’t return to your past Florence either."

Lorenzo was taken aback for a moment, realizing Hig wasn’t as cold as he imagined, but quite sentimental, only hiding his thoughts within his heart.

"After coming to Old Dunling, I was completely immersed in the city’s joy. Although painful, the joy always outweighed the pain. Mrs. Van Rudd provided me a place, let me attend school, to experience things I’d never encounter in the town. Such joy lasted many years until one day I suddenly recalled the coastal town."

Hig spoke with fear and sadness in his voice.

"Lorenzo, I was terrified to find I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t recall the town’s appearance, not even its name. For the first time, I was that scared. I ran to the train station, searching through records from years ago, trying to find which train brought me to Old Dunling...

But there was nothing. That town vanished from my life. My parents were there, even though I couldn’t recall their faces, I was born there after all... That’s when I realized what a terrible thing I’d done, but there was no chance to make it right."

Hig stared blankly at the rain, unable to remember that small town, yet faintly recalling that when it rained there, it bore some similarity to Old Dunling’s rain.

"I can’t go back, Lorenzo."

"I see... I’m just really busy, too many things to do every day. I haven’t thought about these things," Lorenzo said.

"Though we’re in Old Dunling, at the end of the day we’re still outsiders. This isn’t our home, and our real home has long been out of reach, like drifting lost souls."

"Do you want to go home?" Lorenzo asked.

Hig hesitated for a long time before slowly saying,

"I’m not sure. I’ve lived in Old Dunling so long, sometimes when I suddenly think back to those times at the town, I suddenly realize it was a different person’s life, a complete stranger... I’m afraid if the me from back then saw the me now, he wouldn’t believe what I’d become."

"There’s nothing you can do, people change... The self from a second ago dies, and a new self comes alive the next second..."

Lorenzo muttered on, he too dragged a chair over, watching the rain with Hig. For a moment, he suddenly felt his life became normal, no fighting or bloody matters, no damned Demons, just like an ordinary person, pondering life with a roommate at night.

The rain poured down, streams gushing through channels, they were silent for a long time, and then Lorenzo tapped Hig on the shoulder.

"Want some midnight snacks?"

He asked.