Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One-Volume 1 Chapter 24

∴ ∴

Volume 1 – Chapter 24: Is It Wrong To Pick Up Girls In The Midst of Battle?

The fight ended faster than Dong Xue'er had expected. There was only one person left standing at that moment. It was a muscular man wielding a golden shield and lance, standing in a pose that exaggerated his muscles.

The mosaic-censoring equipment had lost its effectiveness.

When Lin Jie and Dong Xue'er appeared from within the peach forest, they saw such a scene. In Lin Jie's hand was a rope, and tied to the other end of the rope were two people, Ouyang Rui and Kai Tuo. They both had fallen into a weak state from the drug's after effects.

Just when she was about to notify others to help those who were laying on the ground, Dong Xue'er discovered an enemy that had yet to receive any injuries: Shadow.

Shadow had finally spotted her target. Xiao Zhan was seriously hurt as he laid on a pile of petals. Her dagger was currently held against his body.

"Hey, beautiful girl! Let go of that hoodlum! If you have any issues, come at me!"

"……" Shadow was silent for a moment, then she pulled up Xiao Zhan, holding her dagger next to his neck.

"Hey! I said don't move. My brethren have already arrived. Also, do see the two people he's dragging along? Your big boys have all lost already. You can't defeat them." Xiao Zhan hurriedly spoke.

"Let me go!" Shadow controlled Xiao Zhan, the dagger in her hand had left behind a line of blood on his neck.

Yet, Lin Jie and Dong Xue'er both made no moves. Lin Jie was still holding his Wolf Fang Club forward.

"Xiao Zhan, in order to prevent this wicked, evil enemy from escaping, you can only sacrifice your life." Lin Jie raised the Wolf Fang Club in his hands.

"Lin Jie! You bastard! You want me to die?" Xiao Zhan shouted angrily.

"Don't worry, Brother. I will definitely spread the news of your act of sacrifice throughout H-city. Moreover, I won't let you die in vain." Lin Jie said.

"Sacrifice, your sister! I, your daddy am still young! I don’t want to die!" Xiao Zhan shouted.

"Peonies die, so mischief can lead to great achievements too, right?" Lin Jie spoke, about to initiate an attack.

"Don't move! Stop!!" Xiao Zhan anxiously shouted at Lin Jie. "Give me a few minutes!! I will negotiate with her!"

"What is there to negotiate?" Lin Jie replied, "This kind of sinister ability, one should just directly destroy it."

"I'm begging you, Bro! Don't move! Spare my little life, ahhh!" Xiao Zhan spoke very urgently.

"I'm not the one dying." Was Lin Jie's reply.

"Just… give me a few minutes! I will talk it out with this young lady here, alright?" Xiao Zhan shouted.

"Alright, you have 3 minutes!" Xiao Zhang stated.

"Alright, you have a few minutes." Ling Jie stated.

"Hey! You heard it too! This brother of mine is simply not human! Very clearly, he was going to kill the both of us together. Even if you grab onto me it's of no use." Xiao Zhan faced the girl behind him as he spoke.

"……" However, Shadow didn't say anything.

"How about this? I pledge to not expose you, and you can come work for me! I've heard that Evolution Co. does not permit failing missions more than 2 times. Even if you return, aren't you going to die? How about it? Just come with me." Xiao Zhan hastily spoke. At that moment, cold sweat was dripping down his brains.

"……" Shadow still kept silent.

"Believe me, working for me is definitely the right choice. High wages! Insurance from all dangers! Includes meals and board! You get two holidays! From 9 in the morning till 4 in the afternoon! For one month, you can get an extra 4 holidays!" Xiao Zhan threw out a bunch of work benefits in one breath.

"You can guarantee that the Hero Association won't arrest me?" Shadow finally spoke.

Hearing Shadow's voice soften, Xiao Zhan hurriedly replied, "There's only the few of us here that know your identity. As long as them and I don't mention it, who would know who you are?! Tomorrow, I can give you a new identity! I guarantee it's completely legal."

Right after speaking, Xiao Zhan faced Lin Jie and shouted, "This is a very beautiful woman! Wouldn't letting her work together with us be even better?"

"That's true!" Lin Jie thought about it, and once again looked at the silent Dong Xue'er at the side.

"This time, you've done me a few huge favors, so I'll leave this issue up to you." Dong Xue'er looked at Lin Jie.

"Alright, we will keep this matter confidential then!" Lin Jie spoke to Shadow, "From now on, we are all on the same team! Quickly let go of Xiao Zhan then!"

"Who knows if you guys are trying to deceive me." Shadow was wary.

"I'm being sincere!" Nevertheless, Xiao Zhan suddenly spoke at that moment, "Did you know that girls like you are my favorite type?! Really, I, Xiao Zhan, can swear to the heavens! I really like girls like you! So I would never trick you! Come, work for me. Our future would definitely be better than if you stayed with Evolution Co. If you don't believe me, then you can kill me! If I could die with you, I'd die with no regrets!"

Right after speaking, Xiao Zhan closed his eyes.

After a long time, Xiao Zhan heard a sigh, "You've already said it, my work benefits can't be any less than promised.

Xiao Zhan was pleasantly surprised as he opened his eyes. The dagger held against his neck had already disappeared. But before his eyes, Lin Jie suddenly stuck up his middle finger at him, and even said, "Well sh*t, you could even get yourself a girl this way! If I knew that, I wouldn't have let you say anything at all, and just directly killed the both of you."

"Hu!" Xiao Zhan let out a breath of air and his legs went weak. His entire body ended up leaning against a soft body.

"Then, what is my first job?" Shadow asked.

"Help me call the ambulance!" Xiao Zhan suddenly felt very dizzy.

"Whatever, I'll go check up on Glasses Bro." Lin Jie passed the two criminals to Dong Xue'er and started walking out of the Peach Forest.

Glasses Bro was located where a temporary emergency treatment team was. Many people had already been carried out of the Peach Forest and were currently receiving treatment.

Glasses Bro slowly opened his eyes and discovered, at that moment, that he was laying on someone's lap.

"Is this the infamous lap pillow? Who is it? Is it Dong Xiaoxie?" Glasses Bro thought in his heart.

"You're awake! Don't move, I'm currently curing you." A hulking bearded man appeared in Xiao Zhan's eyes. Xiao Zhan nearly coughed up blood at the sight of him. It was only then he realized he was laying on the legs of a big muscular man. And the hulk was currently using his warm hands to randomly grope XIao Zhan's body.

"Your sister!! You! What kind of person, whose chest hair is longer than their facial hair, becomes a doctor!? Your appearance is really terrifying, alright?" Glasses Bro exclaimed.

"Four-eyed pervert! You're awake?" At that moment, Dong Xiaoxie's voice traveled into his ears.

"You, were you here the whole time?" Glasses Bro turned his head as he asked.

"Wha-what are you saying!!" A shade of red appeared, covering Dong Xiaoxie's face.

"This young lady has been by your side since you lost consciousness." The buff doctor said from the side.

"Y-y-You! What are you saying!" Dong Xiaoxie was agitated.

"Thank you for your concern." Glasses Bro smiled.

"I… I wasn't concerned about you… I… I was just guarding this position!" Dong Xiaoxie's face was very red. "I just wanted to see when you would die, so I stayed here!"

"……" Having seen everything, Lin Jie slowly turned around. "What is this situation? Xiao Zhan got himself a yandere, and over here, Glasses Bro has a tsundere! Clearly, the one who got rid of the boss was me! Yet the two of them are picking up girls??? Where's the equality!?"

Lin Jie became angry as he thought about it. He then took out his phone and called Thirteen.

"I heard that the Heavenly Island's communications have been restored. Sure enough, me and Thirteen have the most in common." Lin Jie said to himself.

Immediately, the phone revealed a scene of a beautiful beach.

"Lin Jie! It's finally calmed down over here! How is it over there!" Thirteen's face appeared on the screen.

"I've already dealt with everything over here." Lin Jie replied.

"Really? That's great. When are you coming back?"

"I will return to H-city in the next couple of days." Thirteen smiled.

"Thirteen, listen to me, Xiao Zhan and Glasses Bro, those scum don't have any camaraderie!" Lin Jie complained.

"What happened?"" Thirteen asked curiously.

"I fought with my life on the line while the two of them used the opportunity to pick up girls." Lin Jie answered.

"What!? Those two scoundrels!" Thirteen was infuriated.

"Exactly my feelings." Lin Jie said.

Just at that moment, a beautiful, ocean race young girl appeared on the screen.

"Thirteen!" The ocean race girl spoke, "I've come to bid you goodbye."

"You're leaving?" Thirteen asked.

"Yes, I must return to my race now. Thank you for saving me." The girl said.

"Don't worry about it." Thirteen smiled as he replied.

In the next moment, the ocean race girl kissed Thirteen's lips…

Seeing this scene, Lin Jie decisively disconnected the call. "I never would've imagined that even Thirteen would betray the FFF Society! This world is truly ruthless!"

"Don't talk like that." A group of muscular men ran over. "We heard that you have trained your muscles to perfections. Can we socialize?"

"……" Lin Jie thought about the other three and the girls at their sides, and then looked at the group of uncles around him!

"Fine! Today, I invite you all to dinner. We will go eat H-City's specialty, Roasted Duck!" Lin Jie shouted.

"This uh, it's such a pity to cook and eat those ducks; they're birds of such important significance." One of the muscle men spoke.

"That's normal! Haven't you heard the phrase? Showing affection = dying faster!"

……

In Lin Jie's house, Lin Wan and the little loli, Lin Mumu, were currently eating breakfast while watching the morning news.

"Today, under the leadership of H-city's hero, Wintry Witch, and A-city's hero, the Ice Fairy, the Superhero Association succeeded in uncovering a multinational biological weapon business trade. Amongst the major criminals was, unexpectedly, our city's Superhero Association president! At the same time, the police have received accurate information that President Ouyang has been involved in illegal human experiments."

___________________

At that moment, the screen changed, showing Ouyang Rui's body. He was about to be locked in a custody car. Just before he got into the car, he seemed to say something to Lin Jie beside him, and then got into the car, laughing foolishly.

"It's Brother Lin!" The little loli was excited.

"Brother is finally on television as well." Lin Wan said.

'Furthermore, our city's A-rank superhero, The Stalker, had been under the employ of Ouyang Rui.'

Right after saying that, the scene on the television changed to several policemen pushing an ice block towards a transport truck. The person in the ice block was The Stalker. On top of the ice block stood a person, Xiao Zhan.

At that moment, Xiao Zhan faced the camera as he shouted, "Can you see? Little Mumu, in the future don't be like this kind of hero, if you want to be a hero, you should be a hero like me!!"

Below him was a group of policemen who were desperately trying to pull him down.

"It's Brother Xiao!" The little loli was excited.

"That idiot!" Lin Wan couldn't help but cover her face as she facepalmed.

∴ ∴